celebrity-endorsed

Review: Little Chroma

Review: Little Chroma

The Jimmyjane Little Chroma is a scam. Not like your friend emailing you in distress because they’re stranded in London. Not like replying to a Craigslist post about an apartment only to have the nice folks offer to mail you the key from West Africa. Not like someone making nasty things about you on Twitter. But in the simple, old school way: Jimmyjane tries to swindle you into buying the Little Chroma. And I want to intervene. No, need to intervene. I really can’t stand this shit anymore. Jimmyjane knows the importance of marketing, and they use it to make the Little Chroma look mighty tasty. It’s made of aluminum — shiny and smooth and shaped like a luxury tampon. It comes with a replaceable motor, . . . read more

Review: Hold On To Me

Review: Hold On To Me

I’ll admit I scoffed at Real Housewife of Atlanta Kandi Burruss’ new line of sex toys, Bedroom Kandi. Look, I’m not into so-called “girly” things… like make-up. I haven’t owned mascara since high school. I’ve never bought a tube of lipstick. However! I do own my fair share of vag balls. And Hold On To Me (kind-of a dumb name… no, really a dumb name) is a set of four vag balls that, surprisingly, are not shaped like some cosmetic item. Bedroom Kandi toys are manufactured by OhMiBod, so my vag balls came in a cardboard box with both BK and OhMiBod on it. Inside was a more heavy-duty black box that opens up to reveal a bed of black satin upon which the four balls rest. . . . read more

Review: Eroscillator

Review: Eroscillator

You know those butt-ugly animals, like hairless cats and shivery Chinese Cresteds, that instinctively disgust you — until you fall in love with one, and then you want to bitch out anyone who dares judge your snookum-wookum on its external appearance? That’s how I’ve become, very quickly, with the Eroscillator. It is my darling, my little copper-colored1 sweet. And you can have it from me when you pry it from my cold, dead hands. Because this is the best sex toy I’ve ever tried. Full stop, end of discussion. True to its name, the Eroscillator oscillates rather than producing regular up and down vibrations. That may not sound amazing to you, and I understand. I used to wonder what oscillating . . . read more

Review: Royal Wizard

Review: Royal Wizard

[This toy has been discontinued. Browse the rabbits tag for more reviews of dual vibes.] The Royal Wizard from California Exotic Novelties has an intriguing shape and an interesting texture; it has a slightly curved head with a narrow shaft, and its deep blue body is accented with raised pink stripes. It doesn’t look like a penis, and the clit teaser isn’t supposed to be any sort of animal, so it’s a somewhat unusual-looking sex toy, which I’m fond of. This vibrator is made out of TPR (thermoplastic rubber), so it isn’t a high-end 100% silicone toy. But it is my first rabbit vibrator and my first rotating sex toy, so I was excited to give it a whirl. The package . . . read more

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