The Lady Calston Y-Bullet is a HIGH-TECH device. It plugs into your USB PORT. It runs off PURE USB ADRENALINE. Its plastic box reads, Make Your Next MSN Web Cam Chat… A Y-Bullet Sexperience. When I plug the Y-Bullet into my desktop computer, both my monitors go black and fall into a deep sleep, not to be woken again until I turn the computer off and back on. This horrifying phenomenon doesn’t take place on my laptop or my boyfriend’s computer, but the fact that it is a possibility should be enough to deter you. If not, here’s the rest: it has one speed. Two if you’re really touchy with it. It’s powerful enough, I guess, but the speed is incredibly . . . read more

Sure, bullet/egg vibes rule. They’re tiny and portable and made for the clit. In a way, they’re all bound to be winners, as long as they have decent power. But at some point, I have start asking hard questions. Such as: does the Doc Johnson iVibe Egg provide 50-dollar sensations? And: is there such a thing as too compact? The answers are not good. It doesn’t provide 50-dollar sensations, and it is just too damn tiny (2″ long, 1/2″ wide). Tucking it against my clit inside my underwear is one thing — it works perfectly for that. Sticking it in the base of a silicone dildo works swimmingly, too. But as a handheld bullet, it’s just bothersome. Its smallness means . . . read more

I knew the OhMiBod was a shoddy piece of crap from the get-go. I just didn’t have quite enough justification to state that blatantly in this review… until last night when it died. After about 1.5 uses, and right after I finished compiling a 33-song playlist of songs to test, it stopped working. As irritating as it was, however, it was not altogether surprising, and not altogether disappointing. A music-powered vibrator may sound fun, but once you use it, you know the truth. It’s like one of those dancing flowers — cute at first, until you realize wow, this thing has only the most rudimentary understanding of music. The OhMiBod is a white, plastic vibrator that looks like a jumbo . . . read more

Don’t ask me why I had to try a strap-on vibrator. I’m ashamed to admit that I ever thought it would work. It’s just that I’m getting so desperate to find something that clearly doesn’t exist — something that can adequately stimulate me hands-free during sex, and bring me to orgasm. Oh, it’s a laugh, I know. I decided I would give strap-on vibes one chance to wow me, and that chance came in the form of the Impulse Butterfly. It has garnered decent reviews, and is made of TPR (thermoplastic rubber). It looks really stupid, but there’s not much we can do about that — it’s like a rule that all strap-on vibes come in ridiculous shapes. This one happens . . . read more

I’ve been curious for a while now about the Xtreme Kit. I am unabashed in my creepy allegiance to the Xtreme Pack G-spot bullet, but I always wondered if the Xtreme Kit was just as good. No, the bullet shapes aren’t the same, and I figured the Xtreme Pack would still win in that area, but there are certain advantages to different-shaped bullets. Plus, I wanted another battery pack in case my G-spot bullet ever dared quit on me. It seems fitting to compare the two toys side by side, so here goes — my first comparison review! The Look The battery packs are identical in design, but there are a couple discrepancies. The buttons on the Xtreme Kit feel . . . read more

As many of you know, I am practically married to my Xtreme Pack G-spot Bullet. Although it is a quite blissful marriage, I often wonder if there is more out there. If there are other toys that could satisfy my clit in other ways. So I requested the Elle clitoral dancer; it’s a bullet, takes two AAs, and has an interesting shape. It comes in both pink and purple, so naturally, I chose the lesser of two evils (purple). The bullet itself is made of velvety rubbercote, with an unfortunate seam where the head connects to the shaft. The wiring is permanent, but there are plastic rings around the wire on both the battery pack and the end of the . . . read more

I know packaging doesn’t matter, but sometimes I just can’t ignore the hilarity of it. Check out this piece of advertising genius, from the front of the package of Tera Patrick’s Super Charged Magnum: Tera Patrick is wearing a blindingly blue metallic dress to match the toy, and holding a black and white checkered flag (get it, because this thing is just so power-packed?). I’m not surprised. This is the sort of packaging I’ve come to expect from California Exotic — somewhat sleazy, usually tacky, and littered with promises in intense fonts. I mean seriously, the words “Super Charged” are in a nu-metal band font with fire rising from them. So alright, I’ve been reeled in. Now that I know . . . read more

[You may be able order this toy on Amazon, although I think has been discontinued.] A somewhat bored-looking, lingerie-clad woman stares back at me from her position atop Her Perfect Fit. Three cute icons at the bottom of the package explain that the toy is multi-speed, waterproof, and silky smooth. A picture of the clitoral nub boasts “FLEXI-TOUCH,” with arrows pointing both directions to signify movement. I have been wooed previously by the prospects of other vibes that feature both vaginal and clitoral stimulation, but they have always fallen short in one way or another. Usually, the clit stimulator is the culprit. But the clit stimulator on Her Perfect Fit, it seemed, could be adjusted to my preference. That’s what . . . read more

This is one case in which I will permit the use of the word “Xtreme.” Why? Because it actually describes this toy! Everything about this vibe is “Xtreme,” and mostly, in all the right ways. Since buying this bullet, it has quickly become my most frequently used toy. To begin with, this thing just looks awesome. I find a lot of bullet and egg vibes to be lackluster in the appearance department (generic whites and creams with flimsy spin dials… silver eggs that just scream “tacky”), but this one certainly isn’t. The colors are vibrant, and I love the purple and lime green combination. The battery pack is made of thick plastic, and the battery compartment slides open and closed . . . read more