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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

    A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.

    Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
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    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
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Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Y-Bullet

December 14, 2011
The Lady Calston Y-Bullet is a HIGH-TECH device. It plugs into your USB PORT. It runs off PURE USB ADRENALINE. Its... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: iVibe Egg

June 23, 2009
Sure, bullet/egg vibes rule. They’re tiny and portable and made for the clit. In a way, they’re all bound to... Keep Reading
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: OhMiBod

May 30, 2009
I knew the OhMiBod was a shoddy piece of crap from the get-go. I just didn’t have quite enough justification... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Impulse Butterfly

April 5, 2009
Don’t ask me why I had to try a strap-on vibrator. I’m ashamed to admit that I ever thought it... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Xtreme Kit

March 22, 2009
I’ve been curious for a while now about the Xtreme Kit. I am unabashed in my creepy allegiance to the... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Elle clitoral dancer

December 23, 2008
As many of you know, I am practically married to my Xtreme Pack G-spot Bullet. Although it is a quite... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Tera Patrick’s Super Charged Magnum

July 31, 2008
I know packaging doesn’t matter, but sometimes I just can’t ignore the hilarity of it. Check out this piece of... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Her Perfect Fit

June 4, 2008
A somewhat bored-looking, lingerie-clad woman stares back at me from her position atop Her Perfect Fit. Three cute icons at... Keep Reading
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Xtreme Pack G-spot Bullet

April 5, 2008
This is one case in which I will permit the use of the word “Xtreme.” Why? Because it actually describes... Keep Reading

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Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Epiphora's orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

Movie Night: The Final Member

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