Um, No: “How to Make a Homemade Dildo”

“A broken wrench here... soon to be a dildo of some sort. Good use for recyclin’.”

Homemade ice dildo. Nice head shape, except... IT'S MADE OF FUCKING ICE.

There are only a few truly great dildo-making instructional videos on YouTube. And by truly great I mean truly horrifying.

Things of note in this video:

  • “A broken wrench here… soon to be a dildo of some sort. Good use for recyclin’.”
  • He is running out of flesh-colored paint.
  • Caulking looks like really thick male ejaculate.
  • The wimpy patting at the end. It gets me every time.

I couldn’t say it better than this commenter: “Is this guy making a video on how to kill women? Seriously…”

Now, if you’re looking to make dildos that are a bit more, uh, frozen, then this video should do the trick (just in time for winter!):

Things you will learn from this video:

  • A new use for toilet paper rolls.
  • How very creepy the term “anal beads” can sound when applied to frozen water.
  • A quite compelling argument for why making ice dildos for your lady is super-duper chivalrous.
  • “Spice is the, uh, variety of life.”
  • What will easily become your new mantra: “wet ’em before you use ’em.”

Ugh, my teeth hurt just watching that video. Let’s not even talk about my vagina. But hey, at least I know what’s in those dildos.