Sep 272009

FleshlightMy boyfriend is probably the only dude on the planet who, upon hearing the question “do you want a Fleshlight?”, responded with a shrug. But it’s not the Fleshlight’s fault he felt this way; based on past experiences, he was convinced no masturbation sleeve would ever wow him.

But let me put it this way: now my boyfriend and I know why the Fleshlight has its own forum.

I was expecting the Fleshlight to come in painfully heterosexual packaging, but it actually just comes in a plastic bag.1 Never fear, though, the Care and Usage brochure is incredibly heterosexual, with ladies in lingerie bending over and holding vagina Fleshlights everywhere (there is a lonesome dude on the back in a half-hearted attempt to appease teh gayz). All sexualities aside, though, the brochure is decent, explaining everything from the white plastic tube that comes lodged in the Fleshlight’s orifice (just remove it, dum dum) to numbered instructions on how to properly jack off with the Fleshlight.

The Fleshlight consists of a big ass plastic “flashlight” case (which is supposed to be discreet, except it reads FLESHLIGHT on the side) and a removable sleeve. The sleeve is a floppy, silly-looking piece of Fleshlight’s own Superskin material. Superskin is a delicate, phthalate-free (and porous, so no sharing unless you’re fluid-bonded) material that feels very much like the skin on a flaccid penis. As always with such a soft material, Superskin has stringent requirements on how it can be treated — Fleshlight warns that the Superskin may deteriorate if it meets up with some of our gooey friends: soap, detergents, oil- and silicone-based lubes. So to keep the Fleshlight in tip-top shape, it must only be used with water-based lube, and it must be cleaned only with water (and a small amount of isopropyl alcohol if necessary).

This particular Fleshlight is one of the originals, so the interior of its sleeve does not have any exciting bumps or swirls — it’s just a long, unadorned hole. Which is actually what makes my boyfriend’s reaction to it even more unexpected.

My boyfriend was grinning after he used the Fleshlight. Grinning, people. His reactions to other masturbation sleeves have been indifferent shrugs and swift shakes of the head. He has never become attached to a masturbation sleeve. He’s never used one past the testing period. But the Fleshlight has blown every other masturbation sleeve out of the water — and, more surprisingly, it seems to have even blown my boyfriend’s own hand out of the water.

There is a slight caveat to his adoration, though. He finds holding the Fleshlight and moving it over his cock awkward, and very much prefers the shoe method. The shoe method (which is not something either of us invented; it’s in the Fleshlight website’s FAQ) allows for hands free fucking of the Fleshlight — which can also be accomplished by lodging the Fleshlight under a couch cushion or mattress, if the height is just right.

So my boyfriend is pretty enamored with the Fleshlight when he doesn’t have to hold it. It feels very much like a vagina, he says. Whilst probing around in the Fleshlight’s orifice with lube, I had to agree — it does feel like a vagina. Yes, I fingered it, and I will finger it again! The material is just so soft and pillowy…

Anyway. I also enjoy using the Fleshlight on him. It gets a bit heavy, but otherwise, it’s stupidly simple. And get this: after using it on him, I offhandedly asked him if it was better than a blowjob. Smiling a bit, he sheepishly said “yes.”

Yes, world, the Fleshlight is better than a blowjob.

The Fleshlight can also be warmed in hot water (no boiling and no microwaving), but in my experiments, it did not hold its warmth for too terribly long. One minute of soaking equated to about two minutes of warmth; three minutes of soaking to maybe five minutes of warmth. All of my testing equated to one prune-like finger.

Fleshlight cleaning is a bit tedious, as a material as delicate as Superskin really won’t last if it’s neglected. The Superskin sleeve can’t be turned completely inside out (although my boyfriend can bend a good portion of it inside out), and like I mentioned, can’t be washed with any soap or detergent. This means that my boyfriend can’t do what I do with my toys — leave them sitting out in the kitchen overnight before bothering to clean them.2 If he wants to keep his Fleshlight clean and long-lasting, he has to find a sink fairly quickly after jacking off, wash the sleeve out, and set it out to dry. It should not be placed back in its case without drying completely, or it could mold. Additionally, it can be dusted with corn starch to bolster its softness.

But ask my boyfriend, and he’ll tell you it’s all worth it. When I asked him what he loves so much about the Fleshlight, he said “the material.” Being able to fuck it in a shoe is very important too, but that alluringly soft material is the number one reason he is going to continue sticking his cock in the Fleshlight far after this review is published. Now he just needs to try all the different interior textures…

Find the Fleshlight of your dreams at Fleshlight, FleshjackGoodVibesEarly to Bed,
Smitten Kitten, Pleasure ChestLovehoney (international), or Come As You Are (Canada).

  1. Mine did not come with a tin. []
  2. Since condoms are compatible with Superskin, wearing a condom is a good solution if you know you won’t be wanting to get up and wash the Fleshlight after using it. []
  • Toygirl

    I guess someone could mistake it for one of those huge underwater flashlights Mulder and Scully always carried in the X-Files (if they didn’t see “Fleshlight” down the side).

    I do wonder, though, about just rinsing it out. I’d be so paranoid about bacterial growth I’d probably insist on using isopropyl alcohol every time.

    I’m really glad he liked it!

  • You know I was never truly impressed by the Fleshlight until I visited their website and saw the plethora of options and accessories and it was all explained.

    Sounds like bf would love to get one of their special holders for the thing. They do look pretty awesome.

  • Backseat Boohoo

    Better than a blowjob?! Okay, my need for a Fleshlight has just tripled.

    I hope somebody sends you one of the new-fangled Fleshlights with a textured inside so you can do a comparison and see if the texture adds to or detracts from the experience.

  • Regin

    I have one: It’s the first adult toy I bought for myself. I felt silly at first, but it very quickly won me over. I find myself needing a replacement because I was insufficiently careful cleaning this one. Now I know what happens when you wash the case in the dishwasher using soap. (It makes the threads sufficiently rough that the end caps can no longer be screwed on.)

    I would agree that it is better than the average blow job, but not that it is absolutely unconditionally better.

  • @Toygirl: It is a shame that only water and alcohol can be used to clean it, but that’s what you get with such a soft material. It really does feel thoroughly clean after it’s rinsed, especially with the way my boyfriend peels it open, haha.

    @Lilly: Yesss, I would love to be able to get one of those for him.

    @Backseat Boohoo: I agree, because it could go either way. He’s pretty sensitive, so it could be overwhelming… or it could be uh-may-zing. We shall see, I hope.

  • Mimi

    Joseph is extremely hesitant about sleeves. He is the “my hand is great and it’s free” type. (Or when he’s trying to tease me, “That’s what you’re around for.”) To be fair, his experiences thus far with sleeves have been reinforcing this idea in his mind. Maybe one of these days he’ll get to try a Fleshlight.

    Thanks for the awesome review.

  • The shoe thing was a revelation I will always be grateful to you for. I like to stick mine between the boxspring and the mattress to ‘hump’ it (was that TMI?)

    I totally share your BF’s opinion – this toy is AMAZING. It blows all the other sleeves I’ve tried out of the water and my left hand is simply no comparison. I wouldn’t say that it’s better than a blowjob – but it’s CLOSE.

    Great review and brilliant, detailed analysis of the care routine (mine sits out on a shelf in the shower to drip dry, which takes forever and isn’t very discrete.)

    My favorite line: “Being able to fuck it in a shoe is very important too…”

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  • Polly Vincere

    As I’ve previously stated, my man wants one of these pretty badly. He’d never heard of one, but when I showed him the website he immediately became interested. So what did we do? Head straight over to your site of course!

  • We haven’t been able to add a Fleshlight to our collection yet, I doubt any of our buddies would think it was an innocent flashlight sitting up on the shelf though! The cleaning routine puts me off a bit…but it sounds like it is worth it!

  • My husband loves his Ice wave wonder

    I wonder what dildo have you found that is the closest to the fleshlight material? 😉

  • @AB Smith: In terms of hygienic materials, it would have to be VixSkin. But I would imagine that porous materials, like CyberSkin and other “fake skin” materials, would be more similar.

  • sophie2229

    love the sneaker.

  • Selective Sensualist

    Wow. Okay, so I totally need to PRIORITIZE getting my husband the Original Fleshlight! Incredibly AMAZING review, gurl!

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  • Serafina Brightside

    “the white plastic tube that comes lodged in the Fleshlight’s orifice”….Wow! That’s something I didn’t know! And how come they would suggest that you put the fleshlight in a shoe to keep it still to jack off, haha?
    That’s pretty unique.

    Wow! Better than a blow job! Is it really just a hole that is that soft? Wow, I’m really impressed. I want to get it even more for my husband for Christmas, now!

    And yes, I would finger it too. And by the way, I really think they should start making these out of silicone. Maybe softer silicone, though. And you’d have to lubricate it really well. But there isn’t much in material selection, I’ve noticed, for masturbators. It makes me sad.

  • Sarah Marlatt

    Love the comical look of it in your shoe!

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  • xpmule

    They actually make a foot version now i seen with Google.
    It’s fake foot with a Fleshlight in it LOL

  • xpmule

    agreed.. fucking a shoe sounds hilarious !
    ..what ever works guys 😉

  • Tlaxcalli

    VixSkin. Don’t ask a straight woman this question.

  • kamron thurmond

    “Whilst probing around in the Fleshlight’s orifice with lube, I had to agree — it does feel like a vagina. Yes, I fingered it, and I will finger it again! The material is just so soft and pillowy…”

    I love her writing; it is so funny. “and I will finger it again!” LOL

  • kamron thurmond

    I recommend the swallow texture. I got it with the Misty Stone mouth variant and out of the 4 sleeves I own it is my favorite.

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