Billed as the “first ever gonzo queer film,” Seven Minutes in Heaven is a reality porn film that gathers a group of performers together and unleashes them on each other. Sound familiar? Yeah, my favorite porn series of all time has the same premise. Is it because I have a soft spot for Real World style porn that I liked Seven Minutes in Heaven? It helps, but I think it has more to do with how hot the scenes are.
So far in my trek, this is the first Courtney Trouble film I’ve really, really liked. It’s a wonderful, playful romp through authentic queer sexuality. The scenes (of which there are many; the film is two hours long) are book-ended by confessionals. There is music in Seven Minutes in Heaven, but miraculously, I tended not to notice it. If you know me, you know this is a feat of epic proportions.
The experience levels of the performers range from “never done a porno” to “never had a queer experience.” Some are far, far more comfortable with the camera than others, and those tend to be the people I loved watching the most — Puck Goodfellow (serious crush object, he is such a gentleman), Tina Horn (the least attractive to me, but her attitude quickly won me over), and Carson (the front-and-center chick on the front cover). I also loved Sophia, though, and she admits to being “terrified of cameras.”
There’s so much stuff I loved about Seven Minutes in Heaven. I think it’s time for a list.
- The first scene, where Tina fingers Sarah Lee Sinful while wearing a black glove. Lube, gloves, and clitorises just do it for me.
- Puck asking Carson, “how do you want me to address you?” while Carson teaches him how to give a blowjob. Ugh, and her telling him how to suck while touching a crop to his cheek. So good.
- Sophia and Puck’s dual confession, which leads to making out in front of the white background.
- Sophia’s gangbang! She confesses to wanting to get fucked with a strap-on, and a hot-ass gangbang ensues. Involving the Hitachi, of course.
- Carson and Tina in the bathroom. Leather jackets. Black gloves. Tub. G-spot.
- Puck fucking Jolene on the floor. Jolene’s hot orgasm(s); Puck’s hot communication skills.
There are definitely some awkward moments in this porno; they’re jarring at first (mainstream porn is specifically edited to eliminate awkwardness), but somewhat endearing too. That’s not to say that all the scenes yanked my chain — there are several that I would cut from the film if it were my choice, just because they don’t have the level of chemistry that the others do — but I’ll live.
There were also a few technical blunders that irked me: first, the loud and distracting moaning in the background of Puck and Carson’s scene (there was more fun happening in the other room); second, some really icky grain in the bathroom scenes. Oh, and there’s the smoke break. I know this film is supposed to be real and everything, but please, I’d like to cling to the illusion that porn performers smell and taste like pansies, thank you.
Technical issues aside, Seven Minutes in Heaven is genuine, entertaining, sexy, and makes me really happy to live in the year 2010, when queer sexuality is being expressed on camera more and more… when a film like this can impress even a mainstream porn junkie like myself. This film makes me want to go tell my friends about the queer uprising in porn. It’s happening, and this is hot hot proof.