Feb 042010

It’s day four of Courtney Trouble week!
: SpeakeasyTomorrow: Roulette Dirty South.

Billed as the “first ever gonzo queer film,” Seven Minutes in Heaven is a reality porn film that gathers a group of performers together and unleashes them on each other. Sound familiar? Yeah, my favorite porn series of all time has the same premise. Is it because I have a soft spot for Real World style porn that I liked Seven Minutes in Heaven? It helps, but I think it has more to do with how hot the scenes are.

So far in my trek, this is the first Courtney Trouble film I’ve really, really liked. It’s a wonderful, playful romp through authentic queer sexuality. The scenes (of which there are many; the film is two hours long) are book-ended by confessionals. There is music in Seven Minutes in Heaven, but miraculously, I tended not to notice it. If you know me, you know this is a feat of epic proportions.

The experience levels of the performers range from “never done a porno” to “never had a queer experience.” Some are far, far more comfortable with the camera than others, and those tend to be the people I loved watching the most — Puck Goodfellow (serious crush object, he is such a gentleman), Tina Horn (the least attractive to me, but her attitude quickly won me over), and Carson (the front-and-center chick on the front cover). I also loved Sophia, though, and she admits to being “terrified of cameras.”

There’s so much stuff I loved about Seven Minutes in Heaven. I think it’s time for a list.

  • The first scene, where Tina fingers Sarah Lee Sinful while wearing a black glove. Lube, gloves, and clitorises just do it for me.
  • Puck asking Carson, “how do you want me to address you?” while Carson teaches him how to give a blowjob. Ugh, and her telling him how to suck while touching a crop to his cheek. So good.
  • Sophia and Puck’s dual confession, which leads to making out in front of the white background.
  • Sophia’s gangbang! She confesses to wanting to get fucked with a strap-on, and a hot-ass gangbang ensues. Involving the Hitachi, of course.
  • Carson and Tina in the bathroom. Leather jackets. Black gloves. Tub. G-spot.
  • Puck fucking Jolene on the floor. Jolene’s hot orgasm(s); Puck’s hot communication skills.

There are definitely some awkward moments in this porno; they’re jarring at first (mainstream porn is specifically edited to eliminate awkwardness), but somewhat endearing too. That’s not to say that all the scenes yanked my chain — there are several that I would cut from the film if it were my choice, just because they don’t have the level of chemistry that the others do — but I’ll live.

There were also a few technical blunders that irked me: first, the loud and distracting moaning in the background of Puck and Carson’s scene (there was more fun happening in the other room); second, some really icky grain in the bathroom scenes. Oh, and there’s the smoke break. I know this film is supposed to be real and everything, but please, I’d like to cling to the illusion that porn performers smell and taste like pansies, thank you.

Technical issues aside, Seven Minutes in Heaven is genuine, entertaining, sexy, and makes me really happy to live in the year 2010, when queer sexuality is being expressed on camera more and more… when a film like this can impress even a mainstream porn junkie like myself. This film makes me want to go tell my friends about the queer uprising in porn. It’s happening, and this is hot hot proof.

Buy Seven Minutes in Heaven at
Come As You Are (Canada) or stream the best parts now!
Watch more of Courtney’s work at Indie Porn Revolution, Real Queer Porn, and PinkLabel.tv.

  • Shannon D

    This seems like something I’d enjoy more than the ones in the other reviews you posted… I think it would be really interesting to see something somewhat real. Please let me win this one!

  • Sundae

    Oh this is a totally sexy take on my teenage years. Not that I had 7 minutes in heaven with any lovely ladies like these! I think I could definitely get into this one, especially considering it doesn’t have distracting music like the others you’ve reviewed so far. My mind has enough trouble staying on task without things like that. 😉

  • First of all, I haven’t commented on anything on your blog in forever because I just recently got my internet back; I’m happy to be back online.
    Second, this sounds fucking amazing. I need more porn like this in my life.

  • Wilhelmina

    i have nothing intelligent to say about this.

    I WANT!

  • I swear, no matter what you review, you make it sound amazing, but this one does sound better than the last two. I love some of the scenes! 🙂

  • Trish

    Awesome! Loved the trailer for this one. Can’t wait to see it. 🙂

  • I love your review and what you say about the characters… I just happen to know and love and work with a couple of these wonderful people and your review made me smile 🙂 I would love my own copy of this scorcher! (too much love? well that’s real!)

  • Ok this is the second review of yours that I have read and the second porn I want to own. I think I am most likely going to want any porn you recommend cause your not going to recommend crappy porn. Like you I have a soft spot for The Real World and love the idea of putting sexual people and see what fun sexual stuff they do and that its sex positive.

  • carnivalesq

    Excellent review, I agree on all points.

    Especially the hotness that is Carson teaching Puck how to give blowjobs. I also wasn’t a fan of Tina at first. She just wasn’t on my radar at first, you know? I have my “type” that I crush on in porn (read: Puck) but after I saw Tina in action, I was suddenly a fan. It’s her confidence, but also her focus and how she gets so into scenes. She’s a great performer.

  • Pansies link, FTW.

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  • Bri

    Must. get. my. hands. on. one. of. these. The more I read, the more I want.

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