Piph Libs™: mad libs for discerning perverts

Get ready to VERB your friends with some ADJECTIVE sex stories!

Piph Libs™: mad libs for discerning perverts
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Traditional mad libs are not nearly filthy enough for me. That’s why I created Piph Libs™. It’s the latest party game to play with your perverted friends, with stories all about masturbation, sex shops, porn, sex parties, squirting, and other X-rated hijinks! Eight titillating stories available in both online and printable form, so you can play however you desire. Fun for (not at all) the whole family!

My inspiration for Piph Libs™ was a lack of truly risqué mad libs on the market. My lifestyle has not been properly represented by mad libs in the past. For example, there are mad libs about cats and dogs, mythical creatures, space, a bazillion holidays, the ’70s, ’80s, ’90s… and, of course, there are some that should never exist, such as gender reveal party.

The line of “Adult Mad Libs” has a few racier options, including Mad Libs After Dark, My Bleeping Family, Stoned Off Our Mad Libs, Kama Sutra, and We’re Here, We’re Queer. There’s also Fill in the Spank. I will say, the gay mad libs are highly enjoyable and have brought me many belly laughs, but it’s not like the stories consist of dudes buying fist-shaped butt plugs.

So I set out to create my own mad libs: more subversive, more raunchy, entirely unmarketable, and just for you.

Mad libs are one of the easiest games to play from afar, which seems apt for these unprecedented times. They’re a riot to play with friends, but they don’t require other people either — they can be filled out solo, simply for your own amusement. They’re just good wholesome fun… I mean, aside from these particular mad libs being intensely sexual in nature. Maybe that’s wholesome to you? It kinda is for me.

Skip straight to the Piph Libs™

One thing I love about mad libs is how the experience varies depending on who fills them out with you. Do a mad lib with a scientist and you’ll get words like “mitochondria” and “quadratically.” A professor might say “inveigle” and “rectilinear,” and you won’t know how to pronounce either of those. Sex bloggers will delight with answers such as “ineffectual waterproof sex blanket” and “edible strap-on harness.” My partner, a mad libs fiend, seems to have an obsession with stuff like “human skin,” “decomposing,” and “corpse-like.” (Should I be concerned?)

I’m also into bending the rules. As an adult, I found myself playing mad libs differently. I would view the full story while collecting words from my companions, then choose where to place their answers for optimal hilarity. I’ve incorporated this into Piph Libs™, with rules for playing the game “Piph-style.”

So grab a pen, pour yourself some pub mix, and get ready for some Piph Libs™!

Piph Libs™: mad libs for discerning perverts
Big thanks to Addison for helping me design the printable Piph Libs™.

Play Piph Libs™ online — or print ’em out!

I’m a big believer in OPTIONS, so I created both online and printable versions of Piph Libs™.

Beware, the print-outs do reveal the story topics, so shield your eyes if you don’t want to be spoiled! With the online versions, you’ll get a cute Google Doc with your completed story delivered to you via email. Please share your completed Piph Libs™ in the comments if you’re up for it. I really want to see them.

Piph Libs™: mad libs for discerning perverts

Need a refresher on grammar? I gotchu. Nouns are things, such as appetizer, popcorn ceiling, and luminol. Adjectives are descriptive terms like smarmy, slightly burnt, and dark-sided. Verbs are action words: undulate, catapult, wiggle. Adverbs are modifiers such as wetly and unfathomably.

Don’t be afraid to sneak an adjective in before a noun for fun — e.g. overpowering bear. Inventing words is also highly encouraged; how else would I have come up with such gems as gruntilate, florp, and bloops? Remember: specificity is often funnier. Blue is not a particularly funny color, but medicinal blue sure is. Smooth is a basic adjective, but what if you turned it into smooth like an otter?

If you need some help brainstorming words, the internet of course has you extremely covered.


Online Piph Libs™ are best for solo games. You simply fill in the form, submit, and wait for your completed story to arrive via email. In the printable version, fill in the blanks on the left side of the page before viewing the story on the right side. Then transfer the words you’ve chosen into the corresponding spaces in the story — and enjoy the hilarious result!


Gather a sex-positive friend or two. In this variation, you are meant to see the full story, while your friends should not. The printable versions are ideal for this. The key is to be discerning about where you place your friends’ answers. For example, ask for several nouns at once, then place them in the funniest spaces in the story. Ask for different answers if nothing seems to fit right. Adjust the story however you’d like, and encourage your friends to be as freakish as possible. Then enjoy the hilarious result together!