Hot Octopuss

Hot Octopuss

Sex toy news: bionic dildos and a bundle of alien fingers

Sex toy news: bionic dildos and a bundle of alien fingers

Yay, the Canadian cuties at Fuze have four new suction cup dildos: Flame, Major (uncut and girthy!), Freddie, and Star. They can attach to each other, too, to make a custom double-ended dildo. Jimmyjane’s new Tre looks like a bundle of alien fingers. Isn’t that what you want to put on your clit? (Hot tip: if you want to be even poorer, buy the version that comes with a UV sanitizing case!) Dicks that become erect at the push of a button? THE FUTURE IS NOW. Flickering tips, y’all! The Volta is Fun Factory’s latest, and I must tell you from first-hand clitoral experience: I quite like it! Although composed entirely of knock-offs, Cal Exotics’ “Packer Gear” line is worth . . . read more

Sex toy news: menstrual cups and "cyclonic vibrations"

Sex toy news: menstrual cups and "cyclonic vibrations"

FUN FACTORY IS MAKING MENSTRUAL CUPS. YES, THIS DESERVES ALL CAPS. They’re called the Fun Cups. I have used them for many a period now and they have been a worthy addition to my bleedin’ life. [Edit: review here!] Jimmyjane’s latest vibrators are called Love Pods: Halo, Coral, and Om. Halo claims to have “revolutionary cyclonic vibrations.” Am I excited to eviscerate these toys? Absolutely. Do I care that that sounds petty as fuck? Nope. Hating on Jimmyjane is one of the simple pleasures of my life. For the first time in years, Je Joue has new stuff. Nothing flashy, just some basic rechargeable bullets, but you know, I’ll take basic over false claims of innovation… [loud exaggerated cough] Meanwhile, . . . read more

Sex toy news: magnetic kegel balls and Hitachi's shame

Sex toy news: magnetic kegel balls and Hitachi's shame

The “big” news this time is yet another crowdfunding project, for a vibrator called Limon. It’s made by Minna, makers of the Ola. My (sarcastic) fave part is how there are “no cumbersome speed settings.” My actual fave part is when they SHOW IT WIGGLING AGAINST SOME JELL-O. Laid, makers of cock rings mostly, are coming out with magnetic kegel balls. Right now there’s a flash intro on their site which asks “can you form a straight line… with your vagina?” I approve, at least, of that. 30 years too late, Hitachi has decided they maybe don’t want to be associated with a legendary orgasm-inducing product. Good luck getting people to call it “the Magic Wand.” The third toy in Fun . . . read more

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