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    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

    Review: Zumio E

    New York Toy Collective Jack 2-in-1 FTM stroker & packer

    Guest Review: Jack stroker & packer

    Review: OhMyG

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Sex toys on top of wrapping paper.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    The current state of Early to Bed in Chicago, with packing materials amidst dildo displays.

    Dildos in a pandemic: the sex toy industry and COVID-19

    My column in the high school paper, with the headline "Breaking four years of silence." There is a rainbow gradient effect over the image.

    That time I came out to my entire high school

    My logo on top of a glorious sex toy array, on top of a turquoise vulva-esque backdrop.

    Welcome to the NEW Hey Epiphora!

    Supplies for Mirena IUD insertion laid out at the doctor's office, including forceps, lube, gloves, and the Mirena box.

    The (not so) harrowing tale of my IUD insertion

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    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ

USB

While many sex toys now charge via cord plugged into a USB port, this tag is for toys that plug directly into that port themselves.

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iGino partying with a tequila shot,.
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: iGino One

December 27, 2013
OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ... Keep Reading
Lovehoney Flash USB rechargeable vibrator on top of a dictionary, open to the definition of "buzzy."
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Flash

August 14, 2013
The year is 2013 AD. Yet, eyes closed and knowing nothing, I could swear that the Lovehoney Flash is a tiny gourd... Keep Reading
LELO Mia 2 in the Adore Me Pleasure Set, lots of red satin-y stuff surrounding the vibrator.
BDSMSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Mia 2 and Adore Me Pleasure Set

February 4, 2013
The LELO Mia and I go way back. Almost to the beginning of this blog. A lot of things have... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Duet

June 11, 2012
I can now say that I own a vibrator engraved with my name. Or, I should say, engraved with the... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Y-Bullet

December 14, 2011
The Lady Calston Y-Bullet is a HIGH-TECH device. It plugs into your USB PORT. It runs off PURE USB ADRENALINE. Its... Keep Reading
LELO Mia rechargeable bullet vibrator, in some snow.
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Mia (new version)

February 21, 2011
LELO is a sex toy company that listens to people. When consumers loved their uniquely-shaped Gigi, they invented a dildo version named... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Cocomini

February 9, 2010
There are a lot of vibrators in the world, but few that charge via USB. That’s why I wanted the... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Mia

December 20, 2008
Here is who I am: I got very excited when I received a 2GB jumpdrive as a gift. I anxiously... Keep Reading

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Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

Sex toy Black Friday + Cyber Monday sales!

Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

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