Talking sex shops over coffee

Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.
Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

I suppose I have never divulged the fact that I really, really, really want to work at a sex shop. That’s because, where I live, my options to do so are pretty limited. I could work at a semi-sleazy shop where customers generally keep their distance from employees. Where jelly toys line the walls while Lelo toys are kept in a glass case. Where porn is so cheap it’s kept in bins. But… I’d really prefer something better.

A couple days ago, I had coffee with two gals who are working on opening a sex shop in my city. We chatted/geeked out about sex toy packaging, circus porn, the horror that is Fun Factory’s battery compartments, shitty “for women” porn, the Hitachi, and a bunch of other topics.

And they told me about their vision for their shop. It would be a boutique sex shop in a retail location that sells body-safe products and some awesome local products as well. They’re still working on finding a space, which means the reality of the shop is further away than I would like to admit — but the possibility of it coming into existence is knocking around my brain like crazy. It’s exactly the kind of place I want to shop at — and, if I can, work at. I keep thinking about:

Strolling around the store at opening time, checking the batteries in each toy.

Telling a customer that yes, indeed, that glorious toy they’re fondling is as awesome as it seems.

Explaining to someone why glycerin and parabens have no place in lube.

Recommending Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men to a curious couple.

I look at pictures and video of The Tool Shed, Early to BedThe Smitten Kitten, and of course, Babeland, and my heart flutters at the thought of inhabiting a similar environment. For once in my life, I feel like I’m actually an authority on something — and this gives me some serious confidence. I’m itching to get out into the world to talk to people about sex toys. And if I can do that in an inviting, colorful, well-lit, fun shop, I’ll be in heaven.