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    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

    Review: Zumio E

    New York Toy Collective Jack 2-in-1 FTM stroker & packer

    Guest Review: Jack stroker & packer

    Review: OhMyG

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Sex toys on top of wrapping paper.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    The current state of Early to Bed in Chicago, with packing materials amidst dildo displays.

    Dildos in a pandemic: the sex toy industry and COVID-19

    My column in the high school paper, with the headline "Breaking four years of silence." There is a rainbow gradient effect over the image.

    That time I came out to my entire high school

    My logo on top of a glorious sex toy array, on top of a turquoise vulva-esque backdrop.

    Welcome to the NEW Hey Epiphora!

    Supplies for Mirena IUD insertion laid out at the doctor's office, including forceps, lube, gloves, and the Mirena box.

    The (not so) harrowing tale of my IUD insertion

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    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

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Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!
"The Industry"BanterShenanigansSunshine & RainbowsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

September 25, 2020
Fun Factory has been a trailblazer in the sex toy industry since their inception. They utilized silicone from the get-go,... Keep Reading
The current state of Early to Bed in Chicago, with packing materials amidst dildo displays.
"The Industry"BanterFeaturesSex Toy News

Dildos in a pandemic: the sex toy industry and COVID-19

April 11, 2020
Sex shop floors, once bustling with customers, have morphed into makeshift staging areas for packing online orders. The display dildos... Keep Reading
Browsin' SheVibe's new site on my laptop
"The Industry"Banter

SheVibe’s new site = awesome

July 24, 2017
There comes a time in every website’s life when it starts to outgrow itself. It becomes clunky, out-dated, technologically subpar.... Keep Reading
Me and Sandra from SheVibe, giggling in a hotel room with vulvaesque wallpaper.
Ask PiphBanterGuidesShenanigans

Sex toy video chat with Sandra from SheVibe and Epiphora!

August 22, 2016
Me + Sandra from SheVibe + a hotel room with vulvaesque wallpaper + a phone camera + wine = this... Keep Reading
The peeps behind SheVibe
FeaturesInterviews

5 reasons why SheVibe rocks (and you should shop there)

March 11, 2014
It’s no secret that SheVibe is my favorite online sex shop. Launched in 2006, they are perhaps best known for... Keep Reading
Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.
"The Industry"BanterSunshine & Rainbows

Talking sex shops over coffee

August 27, 2009
I suppose I have never divulged the fact that I really, really, really want to work at a sex shop.... Keep Reading

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🩸 CN: menstrual blood 🩸 Tonight's masturbatory battlefield. It's day 4 of my period but looks a lot gorier because… https://t.co/llinKCLlA1
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Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

Sex toy Black Friday + Cyber Monday sales!

Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

Review: Dame Kip and Pom

Sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse winners!

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