“Everything’s temporary if you give it enough time.” —Jewel Last week, I learned that Fucking Sculptures is closing up shop. It seems like just yesterday they popped into existence, delighting me with their jaw-dropping, hand-blown glass dildos and unabashedly straightforward company name. Their G-Spoon was lauded as a serious A-spotter, the beastly Double Trouble revered by size queens. They donated dildos to my giveaways. My girlfriend visited their studio. Now… they’re gone. After four and half years producing gorgeous toys, their website has been reduced to a vague goodbye message, and we’re left to scramble to scoop up the last of their inventory at retail shops. It all seems creepily familiar. As a lifer in the adult industry, I watch companies come and go . . . read more

[Check out my annual best/worst tag for older and newer lists!] Oh hey, remember 2014? It was the year I was a guest on Sex Out Loud Radio, I taught a sex blogging class, I fell in love with someone new, and I bought a house. This year I coined a new catchphrase, “that’s not where my clit is,” which can be applied to any unsatisfactory experience. I shook my head in disgust at the LELO Pino, Teddy Love, and shitty G-spot articles. I hung out with my friends, bid farewell to the makers of fantastical dildos, and said hello to my new sponsors. I conducted several hugely successful giveaways, one of which netted some of the most creative entries I’ve ever seen. I also got . . . read more

I promptly asked for the biggest size available, because of course I did. That was my mistake. The dildo comes, of course, in other sizes manageable to the average vagina, but mine is not the average vagina. I use my vaginal distinction as justification for choosing THE HUGEST OF THE HUGE at all times. Sometimes to my glory, sometimes to my detriment. The detriment is not, as you might assume, because it is too large to insert. Oh, that’s a breeze — 1.75″ in diameter of solid glass? No big deal. The detriment is that the G-Spoon is too damn heavy. My vagina feels weighed down, giving me the sneaking suspicion that the dildo is trying to dump my body at the bottom of . . . read more

Vibratex has released a series of rechargeable mini vibes called The Girls. Princessa looks just freakish enough for me to try, but that rose-shaped button is silly, and they each only have three vibration strengths and three patterns. I thought Nomi Tang was dying, but I guess not since they have a new dual vibe called the Infiniti. Don’t get excited; it’s basically a LELO Soraya. Actual quote from Nomi Tang in this press release: “once you pop you cannot stop.” What. Courtney Trouble teamed up with Fucking Sculptures to create the behemoth that is the Double Trouble. Probably the closest a glass dildo will come to being a fist. Know what’s missing from your life? Bubbles wafting gently over your . . . read more

Update: Sadly, Fucking Sculptures is no more. These people just cut to the chase. They called their company Fucking Sculptures. I like that gumption. I like it a lot. Fucking Sculptures is a brand new (seriously, their launch party was on December 23 and included glassblowing, burlesque, and pizza — why wasn’t I there?!) glass dildo company based in Berkeley, California. Their dildos are called G-Spoon, Corkscrew, Two-Cumber, Hooded Nun, and Pussywillow, and lo! They are not rip-offs of toys that have come before! Believe it, my friends! Like the Candy-Colored Glass Dildo, these are handcrafted and made of soda lime glass (not borosilicate). The colors are muted, which works well for the lovely shapes they’ve chosen. I’m pretty sure I need the G-Spoon in me. This instant. . . . read more