Dildo Diaries (2002) and the Downunder Toys Hot Banana Rod. Buying a sex toy is a snap these days. Simply type “adult shop” into your Yelp app, or enter the product name into Google, and in mere seconds you can find a place to purchase the dildo or vibrator of your desires. We take this for granted. I take it for granted. But as recently as 9 years ago, it wasn’t that easy — especially in the South. Dildo Diaries (2002) is a documentary chronicling the absurdity of Texas’ anti-sex toy legislation. Directed by Laura Barton and Judy Wilder, it’s a joyous defense of our right to purchase and use sex toys. It’s also an invaluable historical artifact, a reminder that in . . . read more

If you ever need proof of what a little shit I was as a teenager, look no further than the 2-star review of The Girl Next Door that I wrote for my high school newspaper when it hit theaters in April 2004. “Just about everything is unrealistic,” I complained, “except maybe how horny everybody is.” I was 17, and like all 17-year-olds, I wanted to be above the inanity of this movie. But the inanity is what makes this movie great. The Girl Next Door 1 is about Matthew (Emile Hirsch), an awkward overachiever, his friends Eli (Chris Marquette) and Klitzy (Paul Dano), and the life lessons they learn and hijinks they pull when they meet his new neighbor, Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert), who used to . . . read more

Missionary Positions is a documentary from 2005 about a quaint pair of minister dudes, Craig and Mike, who had a ~crazy~ idea: to, uh, do something about the uh, problem of porn. Or something. It’s kind of murky. I don’t think even they know what their focus is. The movie actually begins with Mike saying, “most people don’t believe it, but Craig and I are ordained ministers.” The idea for the enterprise came to Mike while he was in the shower — a story he likes to tell time and again at his talks as though it isn’t the most skeezy basis for an anti-porn ministry ever. And I quote: I do a lot of thinking and praying in the shower . . . . read more

There is not an overabundance of good news about documentaries about porn, but there is this one really awesome thing: a new documentary called 9 to 5: Days in Porn. This is a real look at the porn business and the people in it, not some half-baked piece of junk that perpetuates lies about the industry. Filmed over the course of a year, this documentary is structured by “episodes” that weave together the lives of porn stars and industry gurus. Sounds amazing already, right? Also consider the fact that it focuses on some of my favorite porn stars, such as Roxy Deville, Sasha Grey and Belladonna, and the cinematography looks really top-notch. Now you see why I am squirming with . . . read more

The bad news is, they’re hard to come by. And when you do come by them, they are usually negative or superficial. Even Frontline, which I normally adore (seriously, go watch Hand of God or Abortion Clinic, or practically anything else), put out a fairly lukewarm documentary called American Porn. I giddily rented Thinking XXX from Netflix, but it turned out to be a look at pornstars being photographed for a book, comprised of interviews that offered me very little new information about the porn industry. Similarly, a multi-part HBO documentary called Pornucopia: Going Down in the Valley presented a refreshing, but narrow, view of the porn industry. But none of this compares to the abomination that is The Price . . . read more