Feb 192017

Pick a sex toy, any sex toy!

It’s been a while since I sat down and scouted out new sex toys to review. Usually I grab items as they’re released, like the new We-Vibe Wish that just came in the mail. But as my list of “to review” items dwindles, I decided it would be a good idea to get more stuff — so I can start testing it all!

Thus far I’ve narrowed it down to these 20 products. But half the fun of reviewing is fulfilling your desires, so I would like you to vote on your top choices. Some of these are toys I already own, some I’d need to acquire, and at least one may be near-impossible to get, but like… RUMBLE SEAT, GUYS.

You can — and should — select multiple toys. Choose the ones that you most want to read about!

Have an idea for me that’s not listed here? Leave it in the comments!

If you can’t see the poll below, here’s a direct link.

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Made by PollMaker

  • Maya Dinerstein

    It’s awesome that you’re open to reviewing a wide variety of stuff, and that you’re taking reader feedback on what most interests folks.

  • OpheliaV

    My first thought was ‘please do not fuck the banana.’ Then, I realized it was a SelfDelve toy. But for a hot second, I thought you were considering reviewing actual fruits and vegetables. Which…I mean, wear a condom, I guess? Do what you want. ALSO THAT STONE DILDO. I WANT. Can’t wait to see the results!

  • Ana

    I’d REALLY love it if you reviewed those new Flower-y Penile Vulvgina vibrators from Fun Factory, the Calice and the Cayona. I’m extremely intrigued by them (especially the Calice), but I cannot conceptualize how they would feel enough to buy them (or one) on a whim.

    Does the Calice actually feel good when putting that little divot on top of the clit? How about the protuding clit-I-mean-ball on the cayona? Is either long, girthy, shapely, rumbly, or strong enough for G-spots? Are these two of those kinds of odd-shaped vibrators that are actually successful and good or do they flop with the rest of the odd-balled-did-a-human-test-this “inovations”? How do these amalgamations of genitalia and flora function in use?!?!

    If you reviewed these, you would seriously helping a girl, not beause I have to have them but because these questions have been burning at me since the Calice was released and even more when the Cayona was released.


  • KD

    I have placed my votes! I’d like to add that I would also love to see you review any of the Lovehoney Tokidoki line, particularly the unicorn wand — I have the wand and love it, but I want to see other people’s thoughts on it, especially since I have no experience with other hardcore wands to compare it to!

  • AceDenise

    Oh, I would love to see you review the Laya 2- I really want that one. The original Layaspot is much too weak for me but a rechargeable version- if it has the same motor as the G5 vibes, then that would be epic. I’m worried that it will be a smaller/buzzier motor because of the size though. And even though it’s pink, the Swan Wand is great. I’d be interested in what your black hole vagina thinks of the (very) big end, since there’s no way I can take it! I have the big one but I’m curious about the smaller one. And I think doing some budget vibes would be great information for newbies- you haven’t done many budget/battery vibes in recent years and that would be helpful to a lot of people.

  • AceDenise

    I’m pretty sure the Tokidoki Unicorn Wand is just a dressed up Bodywand Original like many of Lovehoney’s other own-branded wands, please someone correct me if I’m wrong! I wish I could just buy the wand attachment, it looks like some interesting textures and it is adorable.

  • Elisa Day

    It’ll probably be easier to get the straight up Pipedreams version of the Rumble Seat. It is of course pink.

    Also the LAID D.2 is one of my favourite things ever.

  • AceDenise

    I have the Semilino and Flora, which are similar sizes and have the same gold handles, and they are so buzzy that I can’t enjoy them at all. It’s too bad, because the shapes are nice. If the motors in the newer ones (like Cayona and Calice) are anything like those then I know I will hate them. Maybe Epiphora can find out if the newer ones are using better motors? I love the colors but I won’t buy a toy that I know has buzzy vibrations just because I want yellow, or mint green.

  • J

    The Laid c.1 vibrator seems really interesting, but I haven’t really seen it reviewed much.

  • FieryRed

    I see three of my four picks did well in the poll, and the one I most want to see is at the top – the D.2! I’m also very curious about the FS Corkscrew (and laughed at how Poll-Maker asterisked out “Fucking”), the FF Layaspots, and the Je Joue toys — I’ve read good things about their Mimi.

  • Coreen Montagna

    I’m curious about the Satisfyer clit toys (Satisfyer 2, Satisfyer Pro Deluxe, Satisfyer Pro Penguin)!

  • Tzipora

    Would be really interesting to compare the Mimi to the WeVibe Wish. Shape is the same and Mimi has the softer and regular version.

    I can tell you if you’ve got any hand or wrist issues that shape is horrible. I actually wish I could sell or give away my Mimi. Scored it at a discount from a local shop’s website and I was underwhelmed. And the shape was just terrible with my disabilities. If the WeVibe Wish has the same motor as Tango and Touch then it will be stronger.

  • Tzipora

    Ooh seconding! I’ve been super intrigued with the Calice one and can’t beat those colors. I actually want to know how it feels externally. I have always been a fan of ridges on my vulva. That’s what intrigues me I think. Reminds me ever so vaguely of uh, some of my favorite random household objects I would use to grind against growing up. Hahaha. Avon’s bubble bath bottles, especially the smaller ones, that was my favorite thing ever. So random but the shape… how to describe it… just sort of reminds me of the Calice so o think Calice could rock.

    I’m less familiar with the others in the line but if there’s a unique shaped toy we definitely need Piph to do the dirty work for us (no pun intended). We already know she’s up for the challenge. Anyone who decides to actually insert tiny dildos will have no issue figuring out if those flower-inspired shapes work some way, somehow.

  • AceDenise

    I just got the Wish and I’m thinking it would be better for hand/wrist issues than the Mimi, the shape is similar but it’s a lot bigger, strangely so for a clit vibe. It fills up my hand. It also has a bit of an irregular, soft triangular shape which is interesting. The tip even has some squish to it like the Mimi Soft. I’m still playing with mine to determine if I like it or not- but I don’t love it as much as I thought I would. At least not yet. I’m gonna give it a few more tries though. I am disappointed it only has 3 “constant” speeds. It’s rumbly and deep but the thick silicone dampens those lovely vibrations.

  • beBlueberry

    Have you done that BJ dildo yet? I know you posted pictures of it but I haven’t seen a review and I want to know more about how it feels!

  • Jennifer

    Are you going to review the we-vibe wish? *crisses fingers* I want one, but I want to read some reviews first. And the stone dildo looks interesting. Your reviews are always entertaining so I’m looking forward to whatever gets chosen.

  • Of course! And thank you, that’s kind of you to say.

  • Not yet, but it’s on the list. It’s a hard toy to test because it requires a partner.

  • Kean Woodsworth

    Hiya, I just wanted to say that I’m REALLY looking forward to your BJ dildo review.
    I’m not even trying to rush you or anything, I’m just excited about it. =)

  • trix23

    So, how is the SelfDelve corn? It’s the one that most intrigues me for some reason. I guess there’s a suction cup custom option, though that would negate its other end’s use…

  • Hannah

    Review requests: Cayona by Funfactory and any of the Chakrubs. I’ve barely seen any bloggers reviewing them!

  • Yay!

  • I like it! Haven’t used it a ton, but I love the squishiness of the silicone. It’s squishy enough to subdue the texture a little, but not so squishy that it’s unwieldy.

  • Attempting to get those right now, hopefully to include as comparison products in my Womanizer Pro/Womanizer Pro40 review.

  • Coreen Montagna

    Awesome! Maybe find out why they went with a naming scheme that seems to have no logic behind it? 🙂

  • SilentAJ

    At that size and shape I’m hoping for even one of the Cobra Libre motors, that would be tops. As long as it is a step or two up from their little single button bullet I can see it joining my Siri 2 in the “true loves when the Tango needs charged” pile. XP

  • trix23

    Squish sounds good! I worry that the narrower end might be poky…

  • Interested

    Since you’ve already proved quality silicone toys don’t melt together in your last post, you could try to test if a good silicone based lube (like Sliquid) actually melts silicone dildos or not!

  • Ahhh, man, I was intrigued by the shape of the Calice too. I wanted it against my clit. But I asked Fun Factory, and the motors in all the toys with the champagne-colored handles are the same. Which is to say: obscenely buzzy. As in, they’re so obviously buzzy that I can tell just by turning on the Semilino at work that I do NOT want it. As much as I enjoy walking into the fire to report back, it wouldn’t be fair to Fun Factory (a company I actually like) to try those toys knowing I’ll hate them.

  • Sadly, I know for a fact that Cayona is REALLY BUZZY because it has the same motor as all Fun Factory’s smaller toys with the champagne-colored handles. I would hate it based solely on its motor, no matter the shape.

    As for Chakrubs, to be honest with you I’m completely bored to tears by their shapes. Long, tube-like dildos don’t do it for me. If they made one with an intense G-spot curve, though, I’d be so there.

  • I reached out to Fun Factory and yep, all the toys with champagne-colored handles have that same terrible motor. Ugh.

  • I wish I could try Calice, because the shape intrigues me too… but Fun Factory confirmed that all their toys with the champagne-colored handles have the same motor, and I’ve felt it, and it’s very very buzzy. I’d hate it. Forever crying about this…

  • AceDenise

    Crap! Well, I wish I could say I’m surprised. Thanks for finding that out… it will be much easier to resist the pretty colors now.


  • Exactly! Put it on my Magic Wand Rechargeable and I’ll be happy… but on a corded wand, nah.

  • Ana Maria

    Well Balls. I totally get why you don’t want to do them the disservice. But damn that’s irritating because they’re a good company who does make good stuff, so hearing that info about the motors in the champagne handles makes me wanna shake them and go “YOU MADE SOMETHING UNIQUE-LOOKING AND YOU PUT A BUZZY MOTOR IN IT?? YOU’RE CAPABLE OF BETTER!!” You know like when you see a good friend who can do amazing things but just doesn’t?

  • Right?

    We-Vibe Nova! Apparently it’s like ultimate dual vibe and solves every problem with them, and it reaches your clit even if it’s far away. A lot of bloggers recommend it, but I know you have a very discerning vagina, so I’m eagerly waiting for your review 😉

  • I actually wrote about my experience with the Nova already in my best and worst sex toys of 2016 post!

  • Me too!

  • taylor_serenil

    I voted for some, but the one I saw on your toybox or whatever list that I *really* want a review for isn’t up here (Clandestine Devices’ Mimic).

    Also, is that Vibratex Rabbit actually still elastomer in this day and age because I already wanted to see you do another rabbit review but that would be an extra level of fun hate-read?

  • Soooooo the Mimic is too buzzy for me. I love the company’s rep and wanted to love the toy too, but I don’t think it’s possible. 🙁

    And yep, the Rabbit Habit is still elastomer. For some fucking reason.

  • A nonny moose

    I loved the Jopen 2.5 when I had it, but the motor broke after a year, which was depressing.

  • Sex toys Amateur

    A new ‘suction’ device just came out that has a vibe side too: Hiky Vacuum Clitoral Stimulator and Vibe by Shots toys

  • jack

    hi,,friend,(@amazon) power massager for 10$ review price,just 10 piece, please PM me(Twitter@@bilibiliDirect). thanks 🙂

  • jack

    hi,,friend,(@amazon) power massager for 10$ review price,just 10 piece, please PM me(Twitter@@bilibiliDirect). thanks

  • Right?

    How did I miss that?! Oh Piph, I guess you just cost me about $150… If even you like it, it must be good!

  • Pingback: Poll: which sex toys should I try and review next? | Sexinmycity()

  • taylor_serenil

    I just recently had a chance to hand-test the Mimic and it was so buzzy I could totally understand why you didn’t want to go there because I definitely noped out.

    (It was rather cute, though. Speaking of cute, if I wanted a kitty-shaped toy, is Big Teaze’s that actually comes in cat colors or Downunder’s that definitely doesn’t more likely to be worth it? I’m US-based, fwiw, and tend to prefer my vibes to have patterns.)

  • Hmm, not sure about vibration patterns for either, but I would lean toward Downunder’s simply because the vibe is removable, and I think it’s a decent silver bullet. The Big Teaze one only takes 1 AAA, which concerns me. It is significantly cheaper, though…

  • taylor_serenil

    turns out (don’t know if you got the OOPS tumblr message) a) the big teaze is cute as fuck but pretty worthless as a TOY and b) i would have appreciated a heads-up to “open with care”. the battery compartment cap got slightly busted when i was ripping open the package, and i ended up having to break out a flathead screwdriver because my hands are kind of fucked and i couldn’t push in and turn the cap with them the way you need to. i wrote a critical enough review pointing out the “disability-unfriendly packaging” that i’m hoping for some freebies or at least an addition to site copy about that bit, given they’re marketing themselves as “Sex for EVERYONE”.

  • Elle

    I learned about the existence of the Jimmyjane rumble seat from your poll here, and it looks amazing!!! A SIGNIFICANTLY cheaper alternative to the Sybian? Look how sleek and cute and hot it looks. It’s only $200 on the Jimmyjane website right now?!

  • trix23

    I’m jonesing for a LoveArc after reading Miss Ruby’s review, but what I assume is a prohibitive price means that a second opinion would be cool. (The various harness attachments would be great to learn about, too.)

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