Did you recently decide to leave EdenFantasys after their latest bombshell? Worried that you are now like a ship without an anchor, lost at sea without the forums and the people you used to interact with? Still wanting to review sex toys, but not wanting to support a corrupt, unethical sex shop by doing so?
NEVER FEAR! I am putting on my shit-stirring hat yet again just for you. Because let me tell you, life outside of EF is sweet. It tastes like honesty.
A quick little bit of history: I started my sex toy reviewing career with EF back in 2007. I started this blog in 2008 and was banned in 2010 for “negativity.” Ever since then, I’ve been collecting stories of unethical business practices at EF.
Yet I have never, in all the waves of past EF drama, seen people leave en masse like this. I’ve never seen people post joke reviews (which were amazing, by the way!). Never seen people grasp to find each other on Twitter, and use the hashtag #EdenFallacys. It seems that people are ready to abandon EF — as long as they have a little guidance. And so this post was born.
Sign up and interact
- Get on Twitter. Just do it. Sex bloggers don’t use Facebook nearly as much because Facebook hates sex. Twitter is where it’s at. Read Lilly’s sex blogger guide to Twitter. Here’s a more general beginner’s guide to Twitter, and a helpful post on Twitter etiquette. Protip: actually interact with people! Even if you think they might not reply or follow back.
- Leave comments on sex blogs. In the world of sex blogging, the comment section is not dead. It’s actually a great way to show bloggers some love and alert them to your existence at the same time.
Follow some kickass people
Even if you don’t want to blog, you can hang out with the sex blogging community on social media and in the comments section of blogs. It’s pretty easy to find sex bloggers once you start following a few, but I’ll give you a few suggestions to get you going….
- @ShitFredPSays: Sample tweet: “Facebook sale 70% off plus you 15%. These big deals, guys. Why you go banana?” Enough said.
- @ThatToyChick: Disgustingly humble, beautiful soul who worked for EF at the beginning and loves helping n00bs.
- @TheAshRussell: Not even a sex blogger, but one of the funniest people on Twitter EVER. The author of my favorite tweet of all time: “believe in your vaginas, people, THEY CAN DO ANYTHING.”
- Observe the lives of indie sex shop owners on Tumblr by following ToolShedGirl, Early to Bed, and Smitten Kitten.
- Behold, my Twitter list of sex toy manufacturers. Some companies really have no grasp of Twitter, though, and just fill their feeds with ~SEX FACTS~ every day. Ugh.
- You can find my fave bloggers in my sidebar there, but you have to read the Redhead Bedhead. She’s a fireball.
- Okay, fine, you probably want more really good sex toy reviewers too. Check out Blacksilk, Dangerous Lilly, Girly Juice, Kara Sutra, Lorax of Sex, Ruffled Sheets, and Sugarcunt. Need a good RSS feed reader? I suggest Feedly.
Shop elsewhere, get actual deals
- My top choices for online sex toy purchases are SheVibe, Early to Bed, Lovehoney, Babeland, and GoodVibes. If you need a cheap and obscure toy, you can probably find it on AdultShopping. Sometimes it’s best to buy straight from the manufacturer, as with Tantus and their amazing closeout section and Grab Bag, Fleshlight where you can build your own toy, and Crystal Delights where you can choose your favorite color of Swarovski crystal.
- My sales & deals page is constantly updated with new coupons. Not to be a broken record about SheVibe, but they have amazing prices to begin with and really awesome sales on top of that.
Start up a blog?! (Feat. advice from people who know things)
- My guide to sex toy reviewing and blogging includes tons of info on starting a blog: motivation, hosting, design, readership, and more. I promise you, at least some of the questions in your head are answered there.
- The legal issues related to reviewing
- Dangerous Lilly’s invaluable Sex Blogger Education posts
- On Blogging: Being Who You Are
- How to be a Bitchin’ Blogger
- Old school EF refugee Laura does website creation, site transfer, etc., specializing in adult sites
- Kara Sutra’s Building Your Blog, Becoming an Online Affiliate, and Writing a Review
- Mistress Kay’s Sex Blogging Resources
- Maybe you don’t want to blog, but want to try your hand at freelance writing? Check out ThatToyChick’s Freelance Writer Guide.
Get back to reviewing
- Read my beginner’s guide to sex toy reviewing and blogging, in case you missed it in the last section.
- 15 rules for writing a sex toy review that doesn’t royally suck
- Adjust your expectations. EF spoiled you, unfortunately. Most places do not give you cash to review. The toys are considered the only payment. That’s how it used to be on EF too. So lower your expectations a bit and seriously, only continue to do this if you love reviewing (not just getting free shit).
- Review stuff you already own — yes, even stuff you already reviewed for EF. Your blog needs content before you can branch out and ask to review for other shops. So get to it, hoss. Write about the Pure Wand all over again. Only this time, say what you really want to say.
- Write on-site reviews for SheVibe. For every approved review, you can get $3 in store credit. Limit 3 reviews/week.
- Review hot porn from Tristan Taormino! Send your name, blog URL, and mailing address to tristan [at] puckerup [dot] com. Boom goes the dynamite.
- Review for Tantus. Email bfarley [at] tantusinc [dot] com and tell her Epiphora sent you. Every affiliate will receive one review product after sign up, with the potential for more.
- Write for Lovehoney. You can work your way up toward acquiring products for on-site review on Lovehoney UK (even if you live in the US). On Lovehoney US, products for off-site review are provided on a case-by-case basis. If you are interested in off-site reviewing, email krista [at] lovehoney [dot] com with info about you, your blog, and link to a sample review.
- Join some affiliate programs. Granted, many of them do not have review programs, but the point is being able to affiliate link to the toys you discuss on your blog. And sometimes you’ll get lucky — for instance, Early to Bed sometimes sends test products to its affiliates.
Find your amigos
Tons of people from EF have hopped onto other social media sites and created (or were already running) blogs. Here is an in-progress list so you can easily find people. HUGE thanks to Britt in Toyland and Reenie for helping compile this. Y’all are lifesavers.
1001Pleasures (Blog, @allmalesextoys)
Adriana Ravenlust (Blog, @adriana_r, FB)
Alan & Michele (@MicheleFromEF)
Beck (Blog, post about EF, @beck42069)
Carrie Ann (@CarrieAnn_, FB)
Bonita-Soleil / No-nita (Blog)
ChastityDarling (Blog, @DarlingChastity, FB)
Dizzygirl (Blog, @dizzygirl812, FB)
Girly Juice (Blog, @Girly_Juice)
Gold Lion (@PrettyBoyToybox)
Ima Godiva (Blog, @ImaGodiva)
Incendiaire (Blog, @Incendiaireblog)
KrissyNovacaine (@KrissyNovacaine, FB)
Lildrummrgurl7 (Blog, @BrittInToyland)
Llewey (Blog, post about EF, @sexweasel, FB)
LuckyLady (Blog, @ItsLuckyLady)
Mistress Kay (Kayla) (Blog, @mistress_kay)
Mwar (Blog, @Neuronic_Mayhem)
Rayne Millaray (Blog, @RayneMillaray)
Red Vinyl Kitty (Blog, @The_Sub_Mission)
Sammi (Blog, @sammi2009)
Secretly Sensuous (Blog, post about EF, @SSensuous)
SneakersandPearls (Blog, @KintheHay)
Surreptitious (Blog, @AnahitaReads)
sXeVegan90 (Blog, @x_the_artist_x)
Tami (Beck’s Mom) (Blog, @KinkyBikerMom)
ThatToyChick (Blog, @thattoychick)
TJtheMadHatter (Blog, @TJtheMadHatter)
Travelnurse (Blog, @budda1114)
True Pleasures (Blog, @TruePleasures)
Woman China (@Woman_China)
Are you an EF refugee? Did you start a blog or Twitter account? Comment with your info (including EF username) and I will add it to this list! Any other resources I missed? Other advice from veteran bloggers? Are you feeling more optimistic now, about leaving EF behind?