In middle school, while others played wall ball, I taught myself basic HTML. I was one of the kids staying inside during recess, because the internet was calling to me. I built countless websites on Geocities and Angelfire, peppering them with visually-painful neon colors, blinking text, and weirdo fonts. If I was feeling particularly saucy, maybe an embedded MIDI file that belted out a crude “Desperado.” The cool thing about that time period is that literally nobody was looking at what I was doing on the internet. I of course parlayed that field experience later in life with this blog, teaching myself more technical skills along the way, like CSS and how to wrangle WordPress. It’s served me well, for the most part, but I’ve . . . read more

The memory’s a bit of a blur now, but almost 7 years ago, I was standing in the bathroom at my parents’ house, mentally preparing myself to tell them I had a sex blog. I knew everything would be okay in the end, and it was — but I could’ve never anticipated just how genuinely my parents, and my mom in particular, would come to encourage and champion this unorthodox career. Coming out as a sex blogger was my second coming out. My first took place at age 14, when I wrote a letter to my parents confessing that I liked girls. Eons later, two years after revealing my sex blog, I came out as non-monogamous. Today, my mom is my . . . read more

Cupcake butt plug and Shilo. The cliché is true — it feels like just yesterday and like forever ago. This week marks 10 years since I first published a review of a sex toy on the internet. It was fall 2007, my junior year of college. That summer, I’d moved out of the dorms and into my first apartment. I was 20 years old, almost 21. If you’d asked me what my career was going to be, I would’ve hesitated and posited, “…writer? I hope?” A cautious optimism underneath which lied a practical fear. A fear that I could never make a living with writing, that I’d end up in an office job, probably, and that the only skill I’d spent my . . . read more

Hi! Me again! Today I am using exclamation points a lot because I’m so excited to announce this thing! Remember how I’m teaching an online sex blogging class this fall with my good friend JoEllen Notte? WELL, thanks to several amazing companies, we are offering six individual scholarships to the class, which will be held online from September 1st through October 20th. Yes, six, thanks to the generosity of Early to Bed, Fuze, We-Vibe, Dame, Crystal Delights, and OhMiBod. Our aim with this scholarship is to amplify the voices of people who have, in the past, been under-represented in sex blogging. We want to combat the notion that sex blogging is only accessible to white, affluent, able-bodied cis people. The scholarship is open to all, but priority will . . . read more

“Holy shit, you masturbate for a living?!” This is how people often respond when I tell them what I do, and honestly, I can’t blame them. On the surface, “sex toy tester” sounds like a dream job. “You’re so lucky!” they exclaim. “You get paid to orgasm!” But this is an oversimplification — and it starts to get annoying after a while. Aside from dismissing all the behind-the-scenes work that goes into running a blog, it glosses over the aspects of this job that are less than idyllic. While being a sex toy reviewer is definitely more fun than most jobs and has its fair share of perks, there are a number of drawbacks too. The following is a list of 22 unfortunate . . . read more

Do you dream of becoming a sex blogger — or becoming a better sex blogger? Like the idea of an intensive online class to kick your ass into gear? Prefer pajama pants to actual pants? Perfect, because I’m teaching my popular online sex blogging group class again this fall, with my good friend and expert sex writer JoEllen Notte! We’re offering early bird pricing of $100 off through the end of May (with payment plans available), and — get this — we’ve expanded it into a six-week long class! September 1st through October 20th, we’ll gather virtually with our students for six weeks of camaraderie and critique. Our course is exhaustive and epic. It covers everything JoEllen and I have learned in our over 15 years combined . . . read more

Want to ask me a question? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here. Can you squirt with something inside you or do you have to pull it out? In most instances, with most toys, the toy has to be pulled out at the exact right moment, after which the squirt follows. This is especially true with larger toys, or when it’s more of an accidental squirt during a clitoral orgasm — where I’m using a clitoral vibe and stimulating my G-spot, but not trying to ejaculate. There’s a build up of pressure and it feels like removing the dildo is the only way to release it. However, things are different when I’m on a serious squirt mission. . . . read more

Me + Sandra from SheVibe + a hotel room with vulvaesque wallpaper + a phone camera + wine = this rollicking good time of a video! Easily, one of the highlights of Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit this year was spending time with Sandra, Thor, and Alex from SheVibe. I’ve hung out with them before at conferences past, but this time I was reminded once again why we are a match made in sex toy heaven. How, I wondered, could I convey their in-person awesomeness to all of you? That’s when I decided to corral Sandra into my room for a live Periscope video chat. Answering questions from each other and the audience, we spent an hour talking about dream vibrators, vulva kayaks, our shared love of . . . read more

Want to ask me a question? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here. I’ve been on the search for a gold silicone dildo for a while and I can’t seem to find one. I just wanna pretend I’m getting plowed by Apollo, is that so much to ask? Oh, they are hard to come by! I’m only aware of two that come pre-made: the special edition gold Vixen Leo which is sold only at Babeland (I liiiike the Leo), and the Godemiche Adam. Otherwise, Vamp makes custom designs, including glittery toys, and there are dildo-makers on Etsy who could probably mix you the gold of your dreams. What would you say were the biggest eureka moments you had on your way to becoming a professional blogger? Overall, . . . read more