• About
    • About Epiphora
    • Press
    • My sex blogging course ✨
    • Blogroll
  • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Consulting
  • Subscribe
  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

blogging

A to Z
  • Latest
  • Oldest
  • Random
  • A to Z
Holding the key to dildo mansion.
BanterBlogger LyfeGreatest HitsGuidesTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

15 things I learned buying a house as a sex blogger

November 10, 2014
Most of my summer was spent in the throes of buying a house, an experience that was completely new to...
Keep Reading
Sex toys drying on the kitchen counter.
BanterBlogger LyfeGreatest HitsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

A day in the life of a sex toy reviewer

December 17, 2013
...to be added to my sales and deals page. I place banners on the page and add some text about which toys I recommend people buy. I remember that I cringe every time I link to my Mia 2 review (because I spent a lot of time complaining about the...
Keep Reading
A decade of sex blogging. Cupcake butt plug and Shilo.
Anyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterBlogger LyfeBreak Out the TissuesGreatest HitsShenanigansSunshine & RainbowsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

A decade of sex blogging

October 12, 2017
The cliché is true — it feels like just yesterday and like forever ago. This week marks 10 years since...
Keep Reading
BanterBlogger LyfeBreak Out the TissuesMaking ProgressTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

A milestone. A huge one.

January 26, 2012
I started this blog 3 years ago with no aspirations. No goals. Not knowing what to tweet about. Not knowing what to...
Keep Reading
Graphic which reads: "A short guide to life beyond EdenFallacys"
GuidesSo You Wanna Be a Sex Blogger

A short guide to life beyond EdenFantasys

June 21, 2013
...people! Even if you think they might not reply or follow back. Leave comments on sex blogs. In the world of sex blogging, the comment section is not dead. It’s actually a great way to show bloggers some love and alert them to your existence at the same time. Follow...
Keep Reading
Graphic advertising the Amplified Voices Sex Blogger Scholarship, sponsored by Early to Bed, Fuze, We-Vibe, Dame, Crystal Delights, and OhMiBod.
Announcements

Announcing the Amplified Voices Sex Blogger Scholarship!

July 6, 2017
Hi! Me again! Today I am using exclamation points a lot because I’m so excited to announce this thing! Remember...
Keep Reading
Ask Piph logo, with a sex toy forming the question mark.
Ask PiphGuides

Ask Piph #8

March 14, 2016
I’ve been on the search for a gold silicone dildo for a while and I can’t seem to find one....
Keep Reading
Ask Piph logo, with a sex toy forming the question mark.
Adventures in SquirtingAsk PiphGuides

Ask Piph #9

October 4, 2016
Can you squirt with something inside you or do you have to pull it out? In most instances, with most...
Keep Reading
Blogger logo crossed out.
GuidesSo You Wanna Be a Sex Blogger

Blogger is leaving adult bloggers out in the cold; what now?

February 24, 2015
I first wrote this post on June 26, 2013, when Blogger changed its content policy in order to prohibit the...
Keep Reading
The Business of Blogging About Sex is back! Me and JoEllen Notte looking cute and erady to teach.
Announcements

Calling aspiring sex bloggers: my online class is back!

May 22, 2017
Do you dream of becoming a sex blogger — or becoming a better sex blogger? Like the idea of an...
Keep Reading
"The Art of Defamation" by Santi Slade. A drawing of a tongue being restrained by a chain.
BanterBlogger LyfeDisingenuous AssholesFeaturesGuidesInterviewsSo You Wanna Be a Sex Blogger

Can online reviewers be sued for defamation?

September 12, 2013
It’s a simple but horrifying question. Are we, as reviewers, protected from companies that may not like what we have...
Keep Reading
Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective
April Fool's!BanterBlogger LyfeGiveawaysGreatest HitsShenanigans

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

April 1, 2024
Taylor Swift had two albums to her name. Instagram didn’t exist. We had yet to name our roman empires, show...
Keep Reading
Welcome to my life. Sex toys all around, a laptop, measuring tape, coffee, batteries...
BanterBlogger LyfeGuidesSo You Wanna Be a Sex Blogger

Epiphora’s beginner’s guide to sex toy reviewing and blogging

February 13, 2013
So you wanna become a sex toy reviewer. I know, it sounds so glamorous and enticing. Packages bursting with free...
Keep Reading
The Business of Blogging About Sex with Epiphora and Lauren Marie Fleming
Announcements

I’m teaching a class!

June 25, 2014
Ever since I started speaking on panels with other lovely industry peeps, I’ve been energized to spread the gospel of...
Keep Reading
The Business of Blogging About Sex — now with more ways to learn!
AnnouncementsGuidesSo You Wanna Be a Sex Blogger

Learn The Business of Blogging About Sex — on your schedule!

January 14, 2016
What’s that, you say? You wanna be a badass sex blogger and pay the bills? Uncover my blogging secrets? Find...
Keep Reading
BanterBlogger LyfeToybox Reports

Legend for my header

April 12, 2011
Yes, my friends! The time has come! No longer will you have to slave away on the internets trying to...
Keep Reading
1 2

Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

Lovehoney Flash USB rechargeable vibrator on top of a dictionary, open to the definition of "buzzy."

Review: Flash

Me holding the Diva Cup silicone menstrual cup, with appropriately blood-colored polish on my fingernails.

Review: Diva Cup

Silicone dildos standing upright and proud.

My vagina is a black hole: how I learned to love penetration

Graphic showing me and Sid from the video, plus a shot of me suctioning skin on my hand, and a photo of the clit pump itself.

Video review: a trans + cis conversation on clit pumps

Pipedream Ceramix No. 4 ceramic dildo

Review: Ceramix No. 4

Blog sponsors

Your ad here footer

Tescort.com  ·  Wholesale Sex Toys  ·  Best Sex Dolls  ·  Best Sex Doll Torso at Idolsdoll.com  ·  sexy toy factory  ·  Wholesale Silicone Sex Toys & Custom Sex Dolls

Hey Epiphora logo
  • About
  • Contact
  • Advertise with me
  • Consulting
  • Sex Blogging Course
  • Accessibility & Privacy
  • Subscribe
© Hey Epiphora. Don't steal. Ask if you're not sure. [Accessibility & Privacy Policy.]
  • Latest posts 📝
    • Reviews
    • Guides
    • Banter
  • New here? 🧐
    • Get directions!
    • Browse greatest hits
    • Browse tags & categories
  • All-time fave toys ✨
  • Toybox 🍆
  • Sales + fave retailers 💸
    • Epiphora-approved sex toy shops
    • Sex toy sales, deals, and promos
    • Epiphora-approved porn
  • FAQ 🔎
  • About 🌈
    • About Epiphora
    • Press
    • My sex blogging course
    • Blogroll
  • Contact 💌
    • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Consulting
  • Random 🌀
Subscribe & support 💌
  • Subscribe
Start typing to see results or hit ESC to close
snark level: highvibrator reviewssquirting
See all results

Dildos in your inbox.

Join over 18,000 fellow dong worshippers

Unsubscribe whenever you wish.

Score!

You're all signed up to receive updates on my vaginal hijinks. 💌 Thanks, friend!

Dildos in your inbox.