Girls. I have a serious matter to discuss with you.
That rubber thing you are tonguing and eating? It doesn’t look sanitary. In fact, I’m willing to bet it’s been fondled by every cast member, make-up person, and cameraman on set — presumably in an impromptu game of hot potato butt plug.
Wait, what are you doing now!? WHAT, WHAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Is this the fucking Olympics? Why are you proud of having inserted an inch of rubber into your ass? WHOSE HAND IS THAT?
Oh my god, girls. Look at this guy. He has permanently raised eyebrows and a wrinkly forehead. Do not take lube from him. And more importantly — DON’T FUCK HIM! I had a premonition, and I know what will happen. This will happen:
Oh, christ. You never take my advice. You are on top of him, and now you must see it out to the inevitable end. The moment of orgasm. The faces. “Creeptastic” doesn’t even begin to describe it.