WE-VIBE HAS A NEW TOY OUT AND I’M SCREAMING ABOUT IT. It’s a squishy, oversized bugger called Wish that’s packed with rumbly power. It’s not without flaws, but that’s all I’ll say for now. New flavors of Sliquid lubes are here! I have yet to get my tongue on them, but damn if they don’t sound delicious: Tangerine Peach and Blackberry Fig. Satisfyer, commonly known as “that company ripping off Womanizer,” has 5,000 different models of their suction toy these days. Incredibly, they sent all of them to me. My clit has some work to do. Tickler, whose forgettable battery-operated vibes I reviewed years ago, has a new line of rechargeable toys: Classy, Choosy, and Snazzy. Despite it being the worst color . . . read more

Want to ask me a question? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here. I’ve been on the search for a gold silicone dildo for a while and I can’t seem to find one. I just wanna pretend I’m getting plowed by Apollo, is that so much to ask? Oh, they are hard to come by! I’m only aware of two that come pre-made: the special edition gold Vixen Leo which is sold only at Babeland (I liiiike the Leo), and the Godemiche Adam. Otherwise, Vamp makes custom designs, including glittery toys, and there are dildo-makers on Etsy who could probably mix you the gold of your dreams. What would you say were the biggest eureka moments you had on your way to becoming a professional blogger? Overall, . . . read more

If you ask me, sex toys are way better gifts than socks or body wash. Now I may be biased, considering I own over 400 of them and have been testing them and reviewing them for six years, but you know. The point is, I have OPINIONS about things that go on vulvas and in vaginas and butts, and even sometimes over penises. Today, I was on Sex Out Loud Radio telling the universe all about my top sex toy gift ideas — plus my tips for picking out a sex toy for someone else. As an accompaniment, here’s the written version — along with photos of the toys and links to my reviews. Where should you shop? My favorite stores are . . . read more

The “big” news this time is yet another crowdfunding project, for a vibrator called Limon. It’s made by Minna, makers of the Ola. My (sarcastic) fave part is how there are “no cumbersome speed settings.” My actual fave part is when they SHOW IT WIGGLING AGAINST SOME JELL-O. Laid, makers of cock rings mostly, are coming out with magnetic kegel balls. Right now there’s a flash intro on their site which asks “can you form a straight line… with your vagina?” I approve, at least, of that. 30 years too late, Hitachi has decided they maybe don’t want to be associated with a legendary orgasm-inducing product. Good luck getting people to call it “the Magic Wand.” The third toy in Fun . . . read more

Here are my standards for lube: That it not smell like a sanitary pad or like Nickelodeon Gak That it not taste like perfume That it not contain glycerin or parabens That it not immediately slide off the sex toy I squirt it upon That it not come in a bottle that looks like something my mother would buy if she were furnishing a sex room, whilst thinking to herself, “isn’t that bottle just so fun?!” You would think this would not narrow the field down very much, but it actually does. A lot. And that’s not even taking feel into account, which I’ll readily admit is not my forte. I avoid reviewing lube at all costs because I simply cannot tell . . . read more

You probably don’t know this, but I’m fucking in love with Sliquid. I love their H2O and Sassy lubes, which are odorless, flavorless, and have a grand total of five ingredients each. Amazing? I think so. A desire for an all-natural clit stimulating gel is what lead me to Sliquid’s Stimulating O Gel. The last clitoral gel I tried was Shunga Secret Garden, which lists glycerin (A.K.A. “yeast infection”) as ingredient #2. The rest of the ingredients list is nothing to be proud of, either — lots of parabens (potentially carcinogenic), and L-Arginine (may cause outbreaks in those with genital herpes). By contrast, O Gel’s ingredients are as follows: Purified Water, Plant Cellulose (from Cotton), Aloe Barbadensis, Natural Tocopherols (Vitamin E), Cyamopsis . . . read more