tiny dildos

Step inside my sex toy closet

Step inside my sex toy closet

This is the stuff dreams are made of — my dreams at least. This, friends, is my majestic sex toy closet. The culmination of years of collecting, organizing, and fantasizing. It is here where I store my gigantic sex toy collection, which is rapidly nearing 600. How did I get here? Well, shockingly, one does not amass enough sex toys to fill a walk-in closet overnight. In fact, nine years ago, my sex toy collection lived in a single cardboard box under my desk. As I began reviewing more, the toys graduated to a purple zippered storage case, and later to a herd of similar cases. This was an adequate but ineffective long-term system, so when I needed more space, I . . . read more

Yep, I actually put tiny dildos in my vagina

Yep, I actually put tiny dildos in my vagina

Time to come clean: my review of the tiny dildos was an April Fool’s joke. I think most of you knew that, except maybe that one whiny dude in the comments section: (Always and forever, these are my favorite types of comments to get on my April Fool’s jokes.) First I have to credit my mom, who helped me come up with the concept. Way back in January, I got snowed in at my parents’ house, which obviously meant naked mother/daughter hot tubbing. Somehow we hit upon the topic of tiny dildos, and I realized “reviewing” them would make a perfect April Fool’s Day joke. She heartily endorsed it, and moments after toweling off, I was writing down ideas. But . . . read more

Review: Tiny Dildos

Review: Tiny Dildos

[This post is an April Fool’s Day joke. However, because I am very dedicated to my jokes, I actually did do all these things.] Perhaps “tiny” is condescending. “Diminutive”? “Miniature”? “Wee”? I don’t want to be flippant or rude, but it’s an objective fact that these dildos are roughly 1/60th the size of their, shall I say, phallotypical counterparts. This is not going to be girth mania. Lowing your expectations for pleasure might be a good idea. Rewiring your brain, wiping all data about previously-experienced insertables: encouraged. Over the years I’ve amassed quite the collection of tiny silicone dildos from Tantus, Bad Dragon, Fun Factory, and Vamp. They accumulate in my purse, come home in my suitcase from conferences, and materialize in crevasses of my life. One time I found one, inexplicably, in . . . read more

Mini sex toy doodads!

Mini sex toy doodads!

[Check out my April Fool’s Day review of my tiny dildos!] I think I can call this a legit collection now. Back in April, after jealously ogling everyone’s photos of the mini Tantus dildos at Momentum Con, the lovely Jenna sent me a few in various colors. They are mini Goliaths, and I adore them. I set them up on my shelf all in a row, and threw that ridic PicoBong die up there, too, because what else was I gonna do with it? Then when I saw Searah at Early to Bed talking about Fleshlight samples and Vixen Creations penises the other day, I saw an opportunity to expand my collection of weird tiny sex toy thing-a-majigs. I made an order for some Sliquid Sea . . . read more

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