[Check out my annual best/worst tag for older and newer lists!] What a year 2015 was! I showed my face on the internet and subsequently used it to prank all of you. I got emotional about what being a writer means to me, then had my work published in Best Sex Writing of the Year. I managed to get out of the house a couple times, to attend the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit, an epic sex blogger retreat, and two smaller #dildoholiday vacations with friends. When the universe manifested yet another “scientific” “study” “proving” that squirt is pee, I protested loudly, and so did many of you. Dr. Drew was perplexed. 2015 was the year I programmed my own vibration patterns, took a video of the inside of my . . . read more

Fun Factory has a whole host of new stuff! There’s Miss Bi, a dual vibe with two strong-ass motors; Calice, an oddly-shaped mini vibe (my girlfriend: “it’s like someone said, make it look like a penis AND a vulva“), and Bi Stronic Fusion [update: I reviewed it here!] a Stronic/vibe hybrid. Spareparts Hardwear, makers of the most durable underwear-style harness on the market as well as my fave harness, now have a boxer briefs harness! And New York Toy Collective has an uncircumcised dildo: Ellis! Tantus recently released the Duchess, a dual-density version of their Duke, as well as the Starter and Gary. Yes, Gary. A dildo named Gary. LELO just remembered that prostates exist and have unveiled the Loki (aka Butt Mona), Bruno/Hugo, and Loki Wave. . . . read more

Recently my girlfriend admitted that, while fingering me, they wondered, is it possible to break someone’s fingers with a vagina? So I’m being up front with you: that is the caliber of vagina we’re dealing with, here. That is my ridiculously toned PC muscle. That is years and years of squeezing dildos like a boa constrictor seizing its prey. I do it without thinking, because much of the pleasure I derive from dildos comes from throttling them. Maybe I’m imagining I’m crushing men’s heads. I dunno. This is to say that I’m not the prime candidate for the Minna kGoal, ((I see which side they land on in the “keegul or kaygul” debate.)) a pelvic floor strengthening vibrator with corresponding phone app and kegel workouts. However, . . . read more

I have now formed a conditioned response whenever I hover over a link and see the URL indiegogo.com. It’s a mixture of terror, disgust, and exasperation, which, upon clicking, either bubbles into rage or fizzles into mild interest, depending on the product advertised. The Minna Limon fell into the latter camp, but my initial thoughts were still mostly negative: Are we going to have to crowdfund all our vibrators now? Goddamn. “No cumbersome speed settings” — OH, OKAY. Is there some sort of rule that if you have a crowdfunding campaign for a vibrator, you must show it in a glass of water? Then I found out it was only coming in pink and teal, and despite my intense love for teal, I was like “really . . . read more

[Hoorah! This toy is now a reality and I tried it!] Everyone pause and bask in this moment. I have found a sex toy crowdfunding campaign that isn’t shitty. It’s a squeezable silicone bulb — er, they’re calling it a pillow — that measures the clenching of your pelvic floor muscles, and it’s called the kGoal (get it? Sounds like “kegel”? If you pronounce “kegel” that way?). It charges via USB and wirelessly communicates with an app on your phone, which serves up your exercise history, suggested workouts, and “max squeeze.” I see a community scoreboard coming on. As added incentive, the kGoal’s motor offers vibrational biofeedback as you do your exercises, while the outer arm is equipped with a status light and second . . . read more

The “big” news this time is yet another crowdfunding project, for a vibrator called Limon. It’s made by Minna, makers of the Ola. My (sarcastic) fave part is how there are “no cumbersome speed settings.” My actual fave part is when they SHOW IT WIGGLING AGAINST SOME JELL-O. Laid, makers of cock rings mostly, are coming out with magnetic kegel balls. Right now there’s a flash intro on their site which asks “can you form a straight line… with your vagina?” I approve, at least, of that. 30 years too late, Hitachi has decided they maybe don’t want to be associated with a legendary orgasm-inducing product. Good luck getting people to call it “the Magic Wand.” The third toy in Fun . . . read more

[Check out my annual best/worst tag for older and newer lists!] Ahhh, yearly traditions! As 2012 comes to a close (how did that happen, though, seriously?!), the time has come for me to recount my most loved and most hated sex toys that I tried this year. As in 2011 and 2010, I’ll first list the best/worst toys, then give out faux awards such as “Most Heinous Battery Compartment” and “I Risked My Life For You; You Are Welcome.” Don’t forget to comment with which toys you loved and hated this year! Best sex toys of 2012 Crystal Delights Crystal Twist — I thought I’d felt it all, especially when it came to glass dildos. I had not. The Crystal Twist is an . . . read more

The Minna Ola has been in my sights since early 2010, which makes me feel old. But it did take a year and a half for it to hit the shelves of actual stores, and by then my initial intrigue had deflated a bit. I must remember, though, Ola is actually innovative; it probably is the first vibrator to do what it does. Ola, like its newer sibling Limon, is like a drum machine for your genitals. You squeeze the pad on its handle and it loops the vibration pattern back to you. But there’s a limitation: no drum machine in this world has a 10-second limit like Ola’s. Ola’s packaging is some of the cutest I’ve ever seen. It comes in a sturdy . . . read more

[Update: I reviewed the Ola!] There were several new toys unveiled at the Adult Entertainment Expo this year, but Ola is the only one I’ve seen that really looks innovative. It’s made by Minna, a brand new San Francisco company. Sex toys are getting a lot smarter, and I love it. This one is special because it has a squeezable handle that responds to pressure. By squeezing, you can tell the toy how strongly (or weakly, if that’s your thing) to vibrate. You can also create a vibration pattern of your choosing, which the toy remembers and then plays back in a loop. Yeah, like a freaking drum machine. For your vagina. Also, I must admit I’m a little excited by . . . read more