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    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

    A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.

    Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

  • New here?
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    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

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Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Caress

March 13, 2020
It’s a genius name for a sex toy, because it conveys so much. Caress, like the breeze casually ruffling a...
Keep Reading
LELO Hula Beads in the snow.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementKegel ExercisersSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Hula Beads

November 19, 2014
Imagine a cat with its head tilted to the side in puzzlement. That is me whenever I use the LELO...
Keep Reading
The Sybian... and packing materials.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementAnyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerVibrators

Today in my life… a stranger on the internet gifted me a Sybian

December 7, 2013
In this episode of True Life: I’m a Sex Toy Reviewer, I am in disbelief as I unbox this sex machine,...
Keep Reading
LELO Ida vibrator in a box of various nail polishes.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Ida

October 10, 2013
I think my boyfriend is going to break up with me over the LELO Ida. I can see it in...
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LELO Ida "couples'" vibrator
FeaturesSex Toy News

The LELO Ida is coming…

September 23, 2013
So I have this in my possession: And yes, that is exactly what it does. It swivels and swivels and...
Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Sally Seal

February 1, 2008
There’s no denying the cute factor of the Fun Factory Sally Seal. While some people may think animal shaped vibes...
Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Royal Wizard

October 9, 2007
The Royal Wizard from California Exotic Novelties has an intriguing shape and an interesting texture; it has a slightly curved head...
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Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

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Orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

Movie Night: The Final Member

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