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Review: Before and After Toy Cleaner

Before and After Toy CleanerI have been, until now, a slave to the sink. After each session — sometimes right after, sometimes an hour later — I would carry my used toys to the bathroom, carefully wash each toy individually, dry it, and put it back in its case. It’s a bit time-consuming, but I have to do it, and it leaves my toys squeaky clean.

I’ve now tried the Before and After Toy Cleaner, and… I will still be washing most of my toys in the sink. With good old soap and water. Why? Because, quite simply, soap and water do it better.

Now, it is important for me to mention that my body leaves behind a significant amount of gunk when I use my toys. Especially with penetrative toys, there’s always a good amount of stuff to wash off. I also have some insanely long masturbation sessions where I’ll go through 4-6 toys. Actually, now I’m not sure why that’s relevant, but oh well.

Quick overview, in case you haven’t read reviews of this cleaner before. Before and After comes in a handy spray bottle. I have the 4 oz. bottle, which is probably going to last me a thousand years. Others have mentioned that the fragrance is reminiscent of grapes. The smell reminds me of grape-flavored gum, but the smell really isn’t offensive at all (and I hate the smell of fake grapes). You spray it on your toys, wipe it off, and call it good.

The point is, I found this cleaner to be insufficient when dealing with toys with texture and crevasses. I have a glass dildo that is very prominently ribbed, and there was no way I could clean the tiny spaces between the ribs. The cleaner inevitably dried there without being wiped off. Also, because I have to use a towel to wipe it off, I can’t see where I’m wiping, so I can’t pay closer attention to especially gunky areas. For that reason, cleaning each toy with the cleaner ended up taking more time than it would in the sink.

I did notice that my Xtreme Pack G-spot Bullet seemed softer the next day. I didn’t notice anything else different with other toys.

I plan to use this cleaner for toys I shouldn’t put under running water (the Bo cock ring comes to mind), and perhaps to spruce up rubber-cote once in a while. I might use it on my toys after I wash them with soap and water. Other than that, I don’t really understand the hype over toy cleaners. Maybe soap and water has brainwashed me.

[P.S. Other toy cleaners may be better than this one. I suggest avoiding sketchy cleaners made by big toy manufacturers and instead go for Babeland Toy Cleaner, Pjur Med Clean Spray, Good Vibes Renew Toy Cleaner, or Lovehoney Fresh Toy Cleaner.]