Jan 072009
 

Cry BabyIt sounds wrong to say “my Cry Baby is dead.” But it’s true. Now, I did not drop my Cry Baby. I didn’t say anything mean to it. But… I suppose it may have died from neglect. I tried it once about a month ago by myself, then I put it in my toy case. I wanted to put it in my vag and go out on the town with my boyfriend, but I was too busy. I was buried under finals at school, and final projects, and after that I was buried under snow and Christmases.

So I finally brought the Cry Baby out again last night. I realized I’d left the 2 AAA batteries in the vibe itself, and I cursed myself for that (what kind of toy tester am I?). I’d taken the battery out of the remote control, though, so it was still good (it’s a 12 volt, by the way). But it slowly became clear to me that the bullet was dead. My rechargeable AAAs, that worked in other toys, did not work in the Cry Baby bullet. All I can do now is turn on the remote control and look at the cute hearts that signify vibration settings. Boo.

But I did try the Cry Baby once upon a time, so I will tell you what I know. The Cry Baby is a plastic remote-controlled bullet vibrator made by a French company named Love to Love, and accordingly, there is a plethora of French all over the packaging. Inside the magnetized flap, there is a list of all ten vibration settings — with corresponding French names, from the first setting (“un peu”) to the last (“encore!”). The back of the package warns “watch out! Cry Baby can greatly increase your intimacy as a couple.”

Sadly, I was never able to find out if my boyfriend’s and my intimacy could increase. I played with the Cry Baby during one of my insane solo sessions. The pink bullet felt big at first, as I pushed it into my vagina, but then it found a spot to nestle into and it was not going to budge. I turned the remote control on (yes, it has a power button!) and began cycling through the vibration settings with the adorable heart-shaped plus and minus button. The cool thing about this remote is that it actually gives the user information about each vibration setting. Once you figure out how to decipher the stacked up hearts that appear on the screen (I suggest playing with the toy when it’s not in a vagina), it’s quite fun.

First of all, make no mistake: this thing is not quiet. It would not go unnoticed at your company picnic or poetry reading. However, although I felt the vibrations and the patterns at first, once I added clit stimulation to the mix, my vag no longer registered the internal vibrations. In fact, many times I forgot that the Cry Baby was inside me (and vibrating) at all. As I was just sitting on my bed, I didn’t test the range of the remote control. When it was time to pull the Cry Baby out, its plastic-coated cord was long and sturdy enough to get the job done.

I believe that wearing the Cry Baby out to a bar or other loud place would be great fun, as its vibrations are most prominent when not coupled with another toy. The Cry Baby’s remote control gives enough information about the vibration settings to titillate its user, which is a nice touch for a remote-controlled vibe. However, I cannot fully endorse the Cry Baby. It did die on me for no apparent reason, after all. And right when I was about to increase my boyfriend’s and my intimacy!

The Cry Baby is hard to find.
The closest approximations are Secret VibeBnaughty Unleashed or LELO Lyla.
Browse more remote-controlled vibes at SheVibe.

  • syntax

    “Sadly, I was never able to find out if my boyfriend’s and my intimacy could increase.” LOL

    A shame this toy died on you. The idea of a remote control cordless vibrator has appealed to me since my very first toy, but it looks like I’ll have to check this one off my list of potential candidates.

  • Beautiful Dreamer

    Sorry about the lack of intimacy increasing testing.

    I find it odd this toy died. It seems like it’s a better one than some of the bullets out there. I guess you’ll have that though- I am sorry!

    Great review as always!

  • toygirl

    OK, I’m going to go take all of the batteries out of all of my toys right now.

    It’s too bad it died, but the packaging looked great (Je vibre, lol).

  • MissKissThis

    I’m sorry it died 🙁

    But I lovelovelove French stuff (so much that I have a French phrase tattooed on me!) and this packaging is so cute.

  • carnivalesq

    I adore the new layout. LOVE the header! Are these your toys? It’s fab.

    Also, it’s a shame this died. I would like to find one of these toys that works and doesn’t die. 🙁

  • Epiphora

    @carnivalesq: Thank you! Yup, those are my toys. I agree; I really want a remote-controlled vibe that works. I don’t even need it to be silent — I just want it to work!

  • So sad that you will never know what amazing heights of intimacy this little plastic thingy could have brought you and your boyfriend.

    I really want a remote control vibe that works well — and quietly — but I have yet to read about one that seems to actually do it.

  • Selective Sensualist

    Aw, too bad. That sucks that you were never really able to try out with your boyfriend in public. I’ve never heard of the Cry Baby before. And I’ve never had a toy even remotely similar, meant for use in public. I’d love to find a reputable toy for this though. I think it would definitely be a of fun.

    Have you tried the Vida Urja?

  • @Selective Sensualist: I have not. The shape/size freaks me out.

  • Bri

    Dead toys make me sad. Especially if they worked amazingly other times I’ve tried them. Alas, you have not been left wanting for toys…

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