Jan 042010

The year is 2010. It’s a new decade, and you’re ready for a change. Your butt plug collection is paltry, consisting of just a few uninspired shapes, perhaps some made of ominously transparent materials. You’re still on the hunt for the butt plug of your dreams.

And you’re in luck, because I have a butt plug that will last you well into the next decade, and probably forever. The butt plug that I called “the best thing that’s been in my ass” — the NobEssence Romp. Just try not to want this beautiful piece of wood in one of your orifices:

NobEssence sent this Romp straight to me, clearly to taunt me and test my self-control. It’s made of Mora wood, and is a gorgeous deep caramel color. This butt plug is going to make one of you very, very happy.

I know many of you really lust after the Romp due to my freakish love for it, so this is going to be a giveaway in which your desire to win can help your chances. I’ve concocted many ways you can acquire entries — you can do them all, or you can pick and choose.

Ways to enter!

  • [5 entries] Put one of my banners on your website. It needs to stay there at least the duration of this giveaway.
  • [5 entries] Write a blog post about this giveaway. You can use the photo I took; just don’t hotlink.
  • [1-5 entries] Tweet about this giveaway and follow me. You may tweet up to five times, and I will give you one entry for each tweet. Sample tweet: It’s a new decade, and I need a new butt toy! RT and follow @Epiphora to win a wooden Romp plug. More ways to enter: http://bit.ly/rompplug
  • [3 entries] Subscribe to my RSS feed. If you prefer, subscribe via email.
  • [2 entries] Comment here telling me why you need a butt plug upgrade. You can take that however you want, pervs.
  • [2 entries] Comment here telling me why wood intrigues you as a sex toy material. Your reasoning can be either serious or humorous.

Deadline: January 16th, 2009 at 11:59 p.m. PST. I will be choosing a winner randomly. You must live in the U.S. to win.

Now go! Spread the gospel of the Romp!

  • Oh, how gorgeous is that. I love me some wood – but I have not yet had the chance to try it. I need this, and will have to continue to earn entries to prove it. My ass lusts for this…

  • Okay. So. In all seriousness, I need a new butt toy because all I’ve currently got is a urethane one that has too big of a base and as such hurts to have in for more than like five seconds. Something comfortable would greatly improve my ability to do the things I want to do with a butt toy.

    Also, wood just seems so very very interesting, but is in general too expensive for me to afford. I’m all about trying different sex toy materials, and especially all about things that are both pretty and made of interesting materials, and wood totally fits the bill for that.

  • Jack

    Following you on twitter and RSS.

    I need an upgrade because I am always looking for something good to put in my ass. I use the pure wand now and don’t have a real butt plug.

    I would love to try the wood to find out how smooth it could be and what the weight of it feels like.

    Thanks and happy new year!

  • I have been dying to try this since you reviewed it. I need a buttplug upgrade because mine is glass and spade shaped not anatomically shaped like this plus it’s cracked so i cannot use it.

    I already follow you by RSS Feed and on twitter

    I plan to tweet this daily even if only 5 count

    I’ll put banners on all three of my blogs just send me the code

    Wood intrigues me because it is hard like glass but with a little give, it doesn’t breal like glass and it’s just pretty. I used to work as an office manager in the Building and lumber industry and wood is like people beautiful and unique

  • LOLmerrill

    ohhh sooo pretty!
    okay so I’ve never had an ass toy and I seriously can’t justify buying this toy.. So then why do I find myself at the nobessence website drooling over the specs and vascillating between not paying my car insurance or not paying my phone bill to afford it?

    bcuz its ohh sooo pretty!!

  • I need a new butt toy because I only have a few plugs and ALL of them are from Doc Johnson…

  • And.. Wood intrigues me as a sex toy material because its fascinating to me how it can be used for that without splinterage.

  • Posting these as separate since it seems to be usual
    But uh, if its not what you wanted I’m so sorry

    I already subscribe to your RSS feed.

  • Saraid

    I posted a blog post, put up your banner and am tweeting. I already follow you via RSS. (Google Reader for the win.)

    I need a buttplug upgrade because all I have is silicone. I love silicone, but would love to try a harder material like metal, glass or *gasp* wood!

    Wood really intrigues me as a sex toy material because of its appearance. To me it seems like metal, glass and wood toys give off more of a grown-up vibe, which I really like. They’re like silicone’s big cousin.

  • EffinSara

    I need a butt plug upgrade for the same reason as Saraid– all I have is silicone, which is wonderful, but I want a little variety in my toybox.

    Wood as a sex toy material (and the Romp in particular) is so interesting to me because it is natural, and because the surface looks so nice and slick. Unlike glass toys, wooden toys don’t need to be so heavy. Also, although I am *technically* an anal virgin (I’m saving it for marriage!) I would get endless amusement out of having wood in my ass. Maybe even in the morning. I could tell T I’ve got my very own morning wood.

  • EffinSara

    Oh yeah, I also already subscribe to your RSS feed 🙂

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  • Yay, yay, contest! So okay, I’ve been interested in wood as a sex toy material since I discovered it could be used that way. It’s so pretty and earthy looking, most wooden sex toys (especially NobEssence ones) are pieces of art. Don’t get me wrong, I love glass and silicone but I want to expand the different materials I experience.

  • Also, just subscribed to your RSS feed. I wondered why I hadn’t before but it’s probably because I follow you on Twitter and find out about your new posts there. But I’m subscribed now, yayy!

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  • I added your button to my scrolling buttons on my blog. http://msgiveaway.blogspot.com/

  • I subscribe to your rss feed!

    mattschmunk at hotmail dot com

  • kristophorios

    just subscribed to your RSS feed
    follow you on Twitter
    why wood? I am allergic to everything so wood would be something new for me.

  • 😀 hello 🙂 I would say that I need this upgrade because…I have nothing, now. lol. I’ve never had a butt plug and I think this would be a special first!

  • WOOD. GOT WOOD? No. lol. But I would like some. I had never even thought about this as being a material for a sex toy. At 1st thought..”OW” and then when you think about it, see it, learn about it..”why not?” 🙂 I am an art collector, this would be my newest medium lol.

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  • Banner – check! (one in the post, one in the sidebar)
    Blog post – check! (no, I did not hotlink, yes I used another banner)
    Twitter – check! (I’ve followed you for ages. Tweeted once so far. I expect to max that out over the next week: http://twitter.com/RavenQuince/status/7465349069)
    Subscribe – check! (I’ve subscribed for over a year)
    Upgrade – check! (I have two excellent plugs – njoy plug & Tantus Ryder – but neither have the ergonomic shape that the NobEssence has. It’s something that I *know* my husband would like. So we can share. But not in the same session. Sterilization is my friend.)
    Wood – check! (Wood that I could have a tree in my bum. So beautiful. I’ve wanted one since your review and now my lust for wood in my ass is nearly insatiable. Call me a wood slut. Go ahead.

    How much wood could a wood slut fuck if a wood slut could fuck wood?)

  • namelesschaos

    Contest blogged: http://namelesschaos.com/2010/01/win-a-romp-via-heyepiphora/
    Banner added to sidebar: http://namelesschaos.com
    RSS feed followed
    First tweet fired: https://twitter.com/namedbychaos/status/7466945269

    Why do I need a butt plug upgrade?
    Well I recently was on the verge of shutting down my blog and never reviewing toys again http://namelesschaos.com/2009/12/the-chaotic-end/ …..then I decided I was overreacting http://namelesschaos.com/2010/01/a-return-to-chaos/ and what better way to celebrate my return to sex toy filled sanity then with a wood buttplug….makes sense to me.

    Why wood intrigues me as a sex toy materiel?
    Once long ago chaos was running his hands along a wood handrail when a massive splinter suddenly broke free and entered my hand. From that day forth I have plotted my revenge against all things wooden. Now by wrapping their kind in Lubrosity™ finish and enslaving them for my anal pleasure I will finally have my revenge! Ahhhh!

  • Wilhelmina

    – banner up: http://heartbreaknympho.com [sidebar under “sex toys and affiliates”]
    – blog post up: http://heartbreaknympho.com/2010/01/06/contest-new-decade-new-butt-plug/
    – i follow you on twitter
    – i already subscribe to your rss feed
    – i’d like an upgrade because so far the only *really* nice plug i have is the pure plug medium. i got that almost a year ago now, so i think it’s time for something new. also i’m introducing the boyfriend to anal play on his end, and i think he deserves the best of the best 🙂
    – wood interests me because it’s very artistic and elegant. also hard, but light. basically a texture i’ve never tried before. i have a plug that’s part urethane, but that really doesn’t count.

  • Heather

    Upgrade?! I need a butt plug period. 😛

    What a wonderful way this would be to explore my butt exploration. Plus I could use silicone lube!

  • Heather

    Wood is just so… natural and beautiful. How could I not want it?

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  • We’re still using black vinyl plugs. No artistry. Not really that comfortable either. But our toy collection only expands come with tax season.

  • As for wood. Personally I love it. The look, the feel, the artistry. We’ve just never bought a wood toy or really thought to because of the whole ‘sex toys shouldn’t be porous’ mindset.

  • @Psycosis: Wood is not porous. It is sealed.

  • So, I’m entering this contest in every possible way.

    Here’s my post: http://britisstillshameless.blogspot.com/2010/01/giveaway-new-decade-new-butt-plug.html

    There’s a banner in my sidebar. I’ll be tweeting about it. If I already subscribe to your RSS feed, does that count?

    I’ll be back to leave you fun and exciting comments for the last two ways to enter. Be excited.

  • @Britni TheVadgeWig: Hehe. Oh boy! Yep, already being subscribed to the feed counts!

  • mandytori

    I’m currently in school studying to become a conservator in a museum. Each semester we study a different material. So far we have covered ceramics, glass and metals. This coming semester we study wood. I have already bought the required text, which boasts the intriguing title “Understanding Wood.” Upon skimming the pages I have yet to see anything on beautifully carved butt plugs… which is certainly a shame.

    I currently own a total of zero butt plugs. It’s something I’ve always wanted to have, but never gotten around to, like a portable steamer or a nice digital camera.

    So help a gal out. Your generous gift will push me to understand wood at a much deeper level, and further both my sexual and academic education.

  • Hello! I posted an entry (http://occasionalkitten.blogspot.com/2010/01/now-theres-some-wood-id-like-up-my-ass.html) on my blog, put up a banner, and subscribed via email =)

    1) Why do I need a butt plug upgrade? It’s not so much an upgrade, I would just love to have a butt plug! And what better way to start my collection than with such a gorgeous and sexy toy like the Romp, especially without personally having to spend the money on it.

    2) Wood as a sex toy material is incredibly intriguing. It certainly isn’t the norm, and usually isn’t seen as a “sexy” material, but the Romp definitely disproves that. If not for all of that, I would just love to feel how a wood toy compares to others.

  • Red

    I’m with Britni on this one: Entering as much as possible! Here’s the post: http://redheadedinsomnia.blogspot.com/2010/01/giveaway-new-decade-new-butt-plug.html

    I could use a great plug that my cat cannot eat (which is how my first plug died). I’ve been sooo intrigued by the Romp for months now that I just *must* experience it for myself!

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  • carnivalesq


    Banner, check.

    Blog post, check.

    Tweets, check 1 so far, but will keep tweeting.

    Subscribe via email, check.

    Why I need a butt plug upgrade?: Because I have not found a buttplug that really really works for me. I’m enthusiastic about anal, but have limited back door abilities for a number of reasons. The shape of this, the modest size, and thoughtfully designed handle all make it look like something I can handle and enjoy. That’s saying something.

    Why wood intrigues me: Because people always freak out and ask about splinters. That’s one reason. I know it doesn’t give splinters, but I feel like using a wooden dildo or buttplug makes me a sex superhero. Additionally, the Romp gives me a massive woodie. Puns intended.

    Voila. I can haz buttplugz nao plz?

  • Ken Wilson

    I would love to have my wife stick that beautiful piece of wood up my ass. Please pick me to win it.

  • Miss Dizzy Lizzy

    I’m not sure if I need a butt plug upgrade, as I’ve never used one before. But if I were to ever try one I suppose it would need to be the best of the best.

    Also, it’s pretty!

  • Miss Dizzy Lizzy

    Also, wood=wood. And that’s just hot.

    There was a man who was very much in love with the Greek God Dionysus. Dionysus promised him that they’d be lovers one day, but the man died before his wish could be fulfilled. Now, Dionysus isn’t the type to go back on his promises, so he carved a phallus out of a tree and planted on top of the man’s grave, then he in turn planted himself onto the phallus.

    Thus, despite death, Dionysus was able to fulfill his would-be lover’s desires and his own promise, thanks to a wooden phallus.

    Hey, it’s Classic!

  • OMG, I need this thing! Look, as embarrassed as I am to admit it, I need an upgrade because I only have one butt plug! That was so hard to say.

  • ladykay

    I really want to win this… I need a butt plug upgrade because I only have one plug now, which is silicone (yay!) but very small (boo) and is not as hard, as interestingly shaped, or as gorgeous as the Romp. And there’s no way I can buy the Romp on a college student budget.

  • ladykay

    And wood intrigues me because… a) It’s good for the environment, b)It’ll feel good for me c)It’s beautiful, d)I’ve never tried it before e) Everyone who reviews it seems to think it’s the best thing ever.
    Not necessarily in that order.

  • Hey Ep… I’m subscribed and I posted about your giveaway here: http://www.insatiabledesire.com/2010/01/10/need-a-new-butt-plug-hows-wood-sound/

  • seattlesnow

    This butt plug is a new thing when it comes to me and my g/f and I like retro looking things. I don’t need to win this really to check it out. Good luck to everybody ells.

  • alwaysHistora

    Why would i love to have one of these beautiful functional works of art? Two easy reasons:

    1) i’m allergic to the plugs we have now. They aren’t pthalate free and some of the dyes really aggravate my skin. Glass is currently *way* out of the budget, because it is non-existent.

    2) i love wood objects. Having helped my Owner in the woodshop, it’s amazing how a piece of inert wood can take on a life when carved and sculpted into shape. And that particular plug glows with inner light. It’s gorgeous. Wood can bring even the most utilitarian object an air of beauty. 🙂

    i also subscribed to your RSS just now, because i am techno-tarded and just figured out Google Reader. *rolls eyes*

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  • Toygirl

    OK, so I really want this plug. It’s just so elegant, and the darker wood color is so beautiful (I wouldn’t be nearly as excited for one of the light wood toys). I’m still a relative anal n00b, but might as well start out with the best!

    I don’t currently own any wooden toys (sad!), and I’d love to have one for the combination of firmness and lightness.

    I already follow your RSS, but I just subscribed to your email feed just for the heck of it. I’ve put your banner on my site and I’ve posted about the contest here: http://outspokenclitic.com/?p=789

    Maximum number of entries, baby!

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  • Mark/CharmCity

    Glass – check.
    Metal – check.
    Wood? not yet..
    Handle/knob for long wear comfort? not from the current inventory..
    Shaped for the prostate? Looks like it..
    Sooo – YES! I do need this! (please)

  • Mark/CharmCity

    Wood.. DW could could stuff *me* with wood. Now there’s the intrigue.

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  • jor and I need a butt plug upgrade because the first one we bought (the Doc Johnson Beginner one) just isn’t as filling as it used to be when we started. Would love to get something quality to upgrade to.

  • Wrote a blog post.


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  • Simone

    Wood is an intriguing sex toy material because it is renewable…and gorgeous!

  • FlySaab

    I believe in diversity. So far, I have butt plugs made of silicone, glass, and metal. I think the wooden plugs are beautiful and have been longing for one to put in my hole.

  • Hermia

    Upgrade? This would be the first acquisition–so an upgrade is sorely needed!

  • Hermia

    Why wood? Wood is beautiful. And a thing of beauty is a joy forever–or at least for as long as you can hold out…

  • Well, it’s a new month, new year, and new decade. It’s time I upgraded to a butt plug that was designed to stimulate the prostate. If it can a excite a woman this way, I can’t wait to try it in my butt!

  • Mimi

    Holy cat shit! You’ve had quite a response to this contest. Congrats on that!!!

    Now, onto business….

    I have subscribed our email account to your RSS feed.
    I’ve done the Twitter thing.
    We have a link to your contest posted on our website (although I understand if that doesn’t count).


    I need a butt plug upgrade because I only own one, and it’s a nice one, but a butt needs more than one plug. Simple. True.

    I want a Romp because it looks sleek and sexy. Plus it goes with my incense and Buddha figurines and idealistic hippie sensibilities. Oh, and the most important reason of all – I want to make Pinocchio jokes. I have not had an excuse to do that yet. With an awesome wooden toy, I can allude to a fantasy come to life. And such. I sense a musical! Oooooohhh snaaaaap.

    – Mimi

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  • sophie2229

    [answer to question 5]
    Well the truth is I don’t necessarily need an upgrade. I need a lighter plug that is suitable for extended use. I only own 1 plug, the Njoy Pure Plug Medium. And while I love it dearly, I cannot tolerate it for more that 1-2 hours. I don’t want to replace this plug, I want to find it a sibling. I would also really like to try a plug with a different shape.

    [answer to question 6]
    Wood seems to be the happy medium between pure silicone and stainless steel. I love unyielding toys, so I generally avoid flexible products. Glass/stainless steel toys are fantastic, but there are times when I find them to be too heavy. Wood is a light yet solid material which seems like it will give me the stimulation I crave, without the excess weight.

  • Lilly 2

    Subscribed to the RSS feed!

    5: I need that plug to finally try out an unyielding material! I only have silicone toys right now and I’d love to try something different. I thrive on novelty, what can I say…

    6: Wood is a natural material that seems a sensible choice for a sustainable toy. It’s also TOTALLY gorgeous. I’ve been lustin over this one for a long time but can’t afford one.

  • why does wood intrigue me as a sex toy material? Well I have tried silicone and metal so I have to try wood and glass too. I would like to see what kind of material I like best . ^_^

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