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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

    Review: Zumio E

    New York Toy Collective Jack 2-in-1 FTM stroker & packer

    Guest Review: Jack stroker & packer

    Review: OhMyG

    Review: Caress

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Sex toys on top of wrapping paper.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    The current state of Early to Bed in Chicago, with packing materials amidst dildo displays.

    Dildos in a pandemic: the sex toy industry and COVID-19

    My column in the high school paper, with the headline "Breaking four years of silence." There is a rainbow gradient effect over the image.

    That time I came out to my entire high school

    My logo on top of a glorious sex toy array, on top of a turquoise vulva-esque backdrop.

    Welcome to the NEW Hey Epiphora!

    Supplies for Mirena IUD insertion laid out at the doctor's office, including forceps, lube, gloves, and the Mirena box.

    The (not so) harrowing tale of my IUD insertion

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ

OhMiBod

OhMiBod is the company you turn to when you want your vibrator to pulse along to Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream.” I don’t listen to music when I jack off, so they’re not really my thing, but some of the toys in their Lovelife line are pretty rad, especially the versatile Cuddle.

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Graphic advertising the Amplified Voices Sex Blogger Scholarship, sponsored by Early to Bed, Fuze, We-Vibe, Dame, Crystal Delights, and OhMiBod.
Announcements

Announcing the Amplified Voices Sex Blogger Scholarship!

July 6, 2017
Hi! Me again! Today I am using exclamation points a lot because I’m so excited to announce this thing! Remember... Keep Reading
Best & Worst Sex Toys of the YearGuides

Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2014

December 30, 2014
Oh hey, remember 2014? It was the year I was a guest on Sex Out Loud Radio, I taught a... Keep Reading
Bedroom Kandi Hold On To Me kegel balls
Kegel ExercisersSex Toy Reviews

Review: Hold On To Me

April 26, 2012
I’ll admit I scoffed at Real Housewife of Atlanta Kandi Burruss’ new line of sex toys, Bedroom Kandi. Look, I’m not into... Keep Reading
OhMiBod Lovelife Adventure, Smile, Discover, and Cuddle
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Lovelife Adventure, Smile, Discover, and Cuddle

September 30, 2014
OhMiBod is commonly known as the sex toy company that makes music– and app-responsive vibrators, but their Lovelife line is a departure, and a valiant... Keep Reading
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: OhMiBod

May 30, 2009
I knew the OhMiBod was a shoddy piece of crap from the get-go. I just didn’t have quite enough justification... Keep Reading
Pipedream Ceramix line
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: ceramic dildos and moustache-shaped vibrators

July 29, 2013
The PVC James Deen dildo was found to be 61% phthalates. Doc Johnson responded with some jibberish. ANME happened and... Keep Reading
Fun Factory Amorino
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: long-distance sex toys and useless gimmicks

January 13, 2014
The BIG! NEWS! of the moment is LELO’s latest product, the Ora. It’s basically a re-imagined SaSi, which I gotta... Keep Reading
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: masturbation polish & the rechargeable craze

March 10, 2017
WE-VIBE HAS A NEW TOY OUT AND I’M SCREAMING ABOUT IT. It’s a squishy, oversized bugger called Wish that’s packed with... Keep Reading
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: menstrual cups and “cyclonic vibrations”

September 24, 2017
FUN FACTORY IS MAKING MENSTRUAL CUPS. YES, THIS DESERVES ALL CAPS. They’re called the Fun Cups. I have used them... Keep Reading
Tenga Iroha line
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: squirting dildos and flapping tongues for your dick

March 22, 2016
Vixen has released a peculiar dildo called the VixenAire Mustang. It inflates when you apply pressure to the base. I... Keep Reading
LELO Ina/Mona Wave, Siri 2, Pino, and Transformer
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: worm-like vibrators and cheeseburger ball gags

January 6, 2015
Since we last spoke, LELO has gone a bit insane with the new releases. They’ve now put out the Ina/Mona... Keep Reading

Fresh tweets

True that. Thanks for the mug @funfactory_intl❤️ #fuck2020 https://t.co/XlXLpLNmZo
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Latest posts

Sex toy Black Friday + Cyber Monday sales!

Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

Review: Dame Kip and Pom

Sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse winners!

Giveaway: sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse

Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

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  • Latest posts
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