I received the Luna Beads on a day near the end of the semester, a very cold day during which I’d locked myself in a bedroom to huddle up to the heater and write...
Recently my partner admitted that, while fingering me, he wondered, is it possible to break someone’s fingers with a vagina? So I’m being up front with you: that is the caliber of vagina we’re...
Have you ever looked at a jump rope, bike lock, thighmaster, or lasso and thought, “oh hey, I bet that’d be good in my vagina”? Yeah, me either. And so, I was prepared to hate...
I’m in love. Its name is the We-Vibe Dusk, and I’m using it all wrong. This toy is supposed to be a vibrating butt plug. It looks like a butt plug. It functions adequately as a...
The Jopen Vanity VR1 kegel balls have offended my vagina. Deeply. They are supposed to vibrate when squeezed. Oh, in my hand they do. In my hand they do. In my vagina, no matter how hard...
I’ll admit I scoffed at Real Housewife of Atlanta Kandi Burruss’ new line of sex toys, Bedroom Kandi. Look, I’m not into so-called “girly” things… like make-up. I haven’t owned mascara since high school. I’ve never...
The Intensity, as the fable goes, did not begin as a sex toy. It began as a medical apparatus used to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles and treat incontinence. When product testers began experiencing...
My rollercoaster ride with the OVO L1 Silicone Love Balls began one fateful afternoon in August. Days before, I’d sweated my ass off cleaning and organizing my garage. But it was not completely The Worst, because I had the LELO...
It was my glowing endorsement of the LELO Luna Beads that convinced Rachelle to get them. But beyond that, her job as a waitress needed some sprucing up. And sprucing up it got! She messaged...
Je Joue, makers of the failtastic SaSi, attempt to make vag balls! In my head, that is the slogan for the Je Joue Ami. Which is really quite unfair to the Ami, because this...
I’m on edge, watching my every move. Like the first day on a new job. Like the feds are after me. Like a driving test. Like masturbating at age 15. But I am not...
Imagine a cat with its head tilted to the side in puzzlement. That is me whenever I use the LELO Hula Beads… only a lot less cute. It’s a head tilt that turns to...
This is so disappointing, you guys. And a sex toy reviewer’s nightmare. But I just cannot feel the LELO Luna Beads Mini in my vagina. I really really love the original Luna Beads. They are my...
