October 24, 2015 My secret shame: I am terrible at remembering to pack lube when I travel. And porn. On this #dildoholiday, I had to borrow my friend’s Good Clean Love, and I had to stream my porn because my laptop has nada. Luckily, I’d been given access to Fat Girl Fantasies, but I still had to suffer with small-town buffering. I watched two scenes: April Flores and Isiah Maxwell and James Darling and Cinnamon Maxxine. Both pretty scorching hot, but James and Cinnamon’s took the cake for two reasons: 1) James’ INTENSE, DEEPLY FOCUSED face as he makes Cinnamon squirt, and 2) the whimsical cat painting in the background. Mostly I used the Womanizer and dildos from Downunder Toys. Lost count of my orgasms: 4, maybe . . . read more
Porn company Burning Angel, run by hottie mogul Joanna Angel, puts out great porn featuring alt girls and cool dudes. It is one of the few membership sites still worth joining. Membership grants you access to over 900 movies for download (or HD streaming!), and almost 300 girls to interact with.
Want to ask me a question? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here. How often do you masturbate? You have quite a collection of toys; do you end up using most of them? Generally, every other day. Sometimes I go days and it’s just a mistake because I always come too fast and don’t get to adequately test the toys. I always say that I should do it more, and I should. Ideally, once or twice a day. HOWEVER, I’m now in the habit of having more than one orgasm per session. That is a good habit to have formed. If I don’t love a toy, I don’t end up using it much at all. I’m usually . . . read more
I’m finally at a point where I can shell out the cash for a monthly porn DVD subscription. THIS IS VERY EXCITING! I’ve been wanting to do this for ages. It was a bit of an experience figuring out just which service to use. I eliminated WantedList pretty quickly when I found they did not carry any Good Releasing, no Triangle Films, and a scant handful of Burning Angel titles. Plus, it’s expensive — $18/month for two DVDs at a time. XRentDVD was similarly spendy. I narrowed it down to either BushDVD or SugarInstant. SugarInstant and BushDVD are about even when it comes to movies featuring epic performers such as Belladonna and Kimberly Kane. And they both carry Triangle Films. But . . . read more
October 1st, 2010 WHY WHY WHY WHY: WHY WHY WHY WHY. November 13th, 2010 I took a break from playing Plants vs. Zombies… …to watch a new Burning Angel porno, Doppelganger. The first scene was set in a DILDO FACTORY. I promptly skipped it, though, because solo scenes are boooring. I found myself at Jiz Lee and Joanna Angel’s scene, which begins with them trying to pitch the idea of the new Joanna Angel sex doll to a bunch of corporate dudes. The dudes aren’t paying attention, so Jiz asks, “don’t you guys find this the least bit exciting?” Some dude replies, “um, not as exciting as… HAPPY HOUR AT MOTHERFUCKIN’ APPLEBEE’S!” Then all the dudes get up and leave the . . . read more
[This post contains mentions of James Deen. I no longer support him or his work.] Bartenders is the newest, yet-to-be-released feature porno from Burning Angel. Now, it takes serious hilarity to make me laugh aloud at something on the internet, and this trailer managed to do it — three times. Even my boyfriend laughed when he watched it, and he doesn’t like porn! Best moments of this trailer: 0:58 — Some dude slapping another dude’s tattooed ass to urge him to jack off elsewhere. Totally random, and obviously amazing. 1:08 — James Deen showing his high-tech I.D. card. Swoon. 1:21 — The introduction of Evan Stone into the storyline. Oh my gawd. 1:33 — “Can I show you our gender-neutral bathroom? . . . read more
Girls Girls Girls II is an ’80s-inspired porno directed by the fabulous Joanna Angel. There is no plotline, just discrete scenes, and luckily, it doesn’t take the ’80s theme too far. Actually, Kimberly Kane’s crimped hair and Sasha Grey’s iridescent spandex are pretty damn hot. Penny Flame’s scene with Allister and Cadence St. John is, by far, the best on the disc. Penny jaunts back and forth between two rooms, licking Cadence’s pussy, then Allister’s. Nothing else goes on. Just pussy licking (well, there’s a smidgen of a plot, but whatever). Allister and Cadence don’t reciprocate — Penny just ravages them, and it’s mesmerizingly hot. Penny has some serious skills. The other stand-out scene is, unsurprisingly, the one between Sasha Grey . . . read more
Cum On My Tattoo has the base formula for what I find hot: sexy alternative girls with tattoos and real bodies. This, at least, is more than mainstream porn usually offers me. But the hotness of the girls isn’t all that matters in porn… To begin with, the DVD case is astoundingly attractive. On the cover, Joanna Angel and Kylee Kross pose amidst a sea of tattoo drawings. The back is the usual collage of hardcore photos and laughable guarantees such as “cream filled tattoos!” However, the tattoo images and tasteful curly font continue onto the back, giving the art cohesion. The inside of the case is a mosaic of photographs of the girls’ tattoos, and the DVD itself looks . . . read more