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risking my life

Sex toys that caused me pain and agony.

James Deen dildos
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: James Deen dildos

THE MOST ANTICIPATED SEX TOYS OF THE YEAR… WELL, ON TUMBLR ANYWAY. Having followed porn star James Deen for years,...
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Split Dildo chillin' next to my coffee and mug warmer.
DildosGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Split Dildo

The .GIFs did me in. The mesmerizing, neverending .GIFs. I stared at them in a trance, focusing my attention on...
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Vixen Creations Randy dildo in the chocolate color, chilling with some moss on my patio.
Adventures in SquirtingAnyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterDildosGreatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Review: Randy

Randy Field Diary, Day #1 — Arrival My vagina is not ready for the brown beast they classify as “Randy.”...
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The Taffy Tickler Silicone Sweets glass dildo, covered in little orange spikes, standing upright near some pointy green fake grass.
DildosGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Taffy Tickler Silicone Sweets

On the front of the package, a circle of orange spines say, “Try Me.” You feel them; they are glossy,...
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Penis ToysPop ShotsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Pop Shot: Minerva

The grapevine says that the Minerva cock ring by California Exotic is a pretty good cock ring. The grapevine is...
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Greatest HitsKegel ExercisersSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Intensity

The Intensity, as the fable goes, did not begin as a sex toy. It began as a medical apparatus used...
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LELO Ina rechargeable vibrator, on top of the "naked people puzzle," as my family calls it
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Ina

The LELO Ina is a very divisive toy. Those who love it vehemently love it; others vehemently bemoan its incompatibility with their...
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Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Rider

The Jollies / LuzArte Rider is an unusual beast. Part lump of silicone, part vibrator, it is meant to nestle...
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Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Aluminum Mini 3″ and 4″

There are two surprising things about California Exotic’s Aluminum Mini butt plugs. First, uh, they’re made of aluminum, and since...
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Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 15 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

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Very fave sex shops

SheVibe: my all-time fave, with a selection that will blow your brains out Spectrum Boutique: a hip, modern sex shop dedicated to body-safe toys and radical inclusion Lovehoney: the best place to shop for international orders

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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

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Greatest Hits

A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

iGino partying with a tequila shot,.

Review: iGino One

Pipedream Ceramix No. 4 ceramic dildo

Review: Ceramix No. 4

Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

Bouquet of hand drawn sex toys.

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