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risking my life

Sex toys that caused me pain and agony.

Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.
Anyway How's Your Sex Life?April Fool's!BanterBlogger LyfeFeaturesJack-off JournalSex Toy ReviewsShenanigansTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerVibrators

Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

Today I’m releasing exclusive tapes from last month’s masturbatory adventures. These are my intimate audio notes from out in the...
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Penis ToysPop ShotsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Pop Shot: Minerva

The grapevine says that the Minerva cock ring by California Exotic is a pretty good cock ring. The grapevine is...
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Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective
April Fool's!BanterBlogger LyfeGiveawaysGreatest HitsShenanigans

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Taylor Swift had two albums to her name. Instagram didn’t exist. We had yet to name our roman empires, show...
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An assortment of sex toys from the past, including one that looks like a skeleton and another with orange spikes.
FeaturesJack-off Journal

Jack-off Journal #21

June 16, 2016 Gold-star multi-tasking today: I alternate between jacking off and watching just-released Big Brother cast interviews. (I have...
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Pipedream Ceramix No. 4 ceramic dildo
DildosGreatest HitsSex Toy Reviews

Review: Ceramix No. 4

I wanted to feel the sensation of water sloshing in my vagina. Like the refreshing feeling of wading into the ocean....
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Vintage vibrators: the Polar Cub Electric Vibrator (top), Oster Massagett, and Vanguard Vibro-Massager.
April Fool's!Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Vintage vibrators

The inventor of the first electrical vibrator, doctor Joseph Mortimer Granville, called his device “Granville’s Hammer” — and if that’s...
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Greatest HitsKegel ExercisersSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Intensity

The Intensity, as the fable goes, did not begin as a sex toy. It began as a medical apparatus used...
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The Taffy Tickler Silicone Sweets glass dildo, covered in little orange spikes, standing upright near some pointy green fake grass.
DildosGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Taffy Tickler Silicone Sweets

On the front of the package, a circle of orange spines say, “Try Me.” You feel them; they are glossy,...
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Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.
"The Industry"Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementBanterDisingenuous AssholesDon't Trust the HeadlinesFeaturesSex Toy NewsSex Toy Reviews

Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

Lora DiCarlo, the “sex tech” start-up that vowed to revolutionize the pleasure industry and pompously acted like the first to...
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Warm Touch automatic warming lube dispenser standing upright and continuously dispensing, next to a lamp that resembles anal beads, and my cat on the bed.
Hi, I love youLube etc.Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Warm Touch warming lube dispenser

The problem of the lube bottle is one that manufacturers have been grappling with for some time. Awkward flip-top caps...
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Marc Dorcel Geisha Plug and Fun Factory B Balls kegel ball anal plugs on a moss-covered brick, among leaves.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementAnal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Geisha Plug and B Balls

I can’t prove it — unless Google Talk instant message logs count as evidence — but I had this idea...
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Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Caress

It’s a genius name for a sex toy, because it conveys so much. Caress, like the breeze casually ruffling a...
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Tiny dildos from Tantus, Bad Dragon and Fun Factory standing up on a wooden display shelf.
April Fool's!DildosGreatest HitsSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tiny Dildos

Perhaps “tiny” is condescending. “Diminutive”? “Miniature”? “Wee”? I don’t want to be flippant or rude, but it’s an objective fact that these dildos are...
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Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Aluminum Mini 3″ and 4″

There are two surprising things about California Exotic’s Aluminum Mini butt plugs. First, uh, they’re made of aluminum, and since...
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LELO Ina rechargeable vibrator, on top of the "naked people puzzle," as my family calls it
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Ina

The LELO Ina is a very divisive toy. Those who love it vehemently love it; others vehemently bemoan its incompatibility with their...
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LELO Ida vibrator in a box of various nail polishes.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Ida

I think my boyfriend is going to break up with me over the LELO Ida. I can see it in...
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Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 15 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

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Very fave sex shops

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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

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Greatest Hits

Black LELO Ora (original), blue LELO Ora 2 on a hardwood floor.

Review: Ora 2

Tiny dildos from Tantus, Bad Dragon and Fun Factory standing up on a wooden display shelf.

Review: Tiny Dildos

Lowe Aurora, a sex toy that provides "low-level laser treatments" to the vulva

This sex toy will “rejuvenate” your pitiful vulva for just $850

Bubble Love pleasure jet and Dilly dildo attachment on an old boat dock.

Review: Bubble Love

The simplehuman Sensor Pump on my nightstand, squirting lube onto my Pure Wand.

Review: Automatic lube dispenser

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