Jan 222010
 

My boyfriend is afraid of fake vaginas, but I forced him to make an exception for the Tera Patrick Fleshlight. After all, he loves his first Fleshlight, and it doesn’t even have a texture on the inside. I presented the Tera Patrick Fleshlight to him (err, gave it to him for Christmas…) because I thought he’d like the inner Twista texture. The outside? Well, he barely cares that it’s vulva-shaped, and doesn’t care at all that it’s a pornstar’s vulva.

A few things have changed since last September, when he first fell in love with the Fleshlight. The main one is that he rarely, if at all, uses the “shoe method” now. I was appalled to learn this, especially since I wrote in that review, “my boyfriend is pretty enamored with the Fleshlight when he doesn’t have to hold it.” He told me that while the shoe method “provided the breakthrough,” he holds it all the time now when he jacks off, and no longer finds it awkward. In fact, he perceptively pointed out that he likes how bulky and stiff the case is — it allows him to distance himself from his hand and feel more like he’s fucking something separate.

The Tera Patrick Fleshlight comes in a large collector’s tin, which would be useful for storage if it was at all inconspicuous. But the shadowy ladies dancing on the side give it away, so it’s a waste of packaging instead. As with all the Fleshlight Girls, the case is an iridescent white color. The boyfriend is a fan of the iridescent color and likes it better than black, but points out, “I’m not looking at it — I’m looking at whatever I’m jacking off to.” A.K.A. “stop asking me inane questions, girlfriend.”

The pillowy soft Superskin sleeve is the same pink color we’ve come to expect from Fleshlights1. Tera is the only Fleshlight with the Twista inner texture, although she also comes in Lotus. The labia are perpetually open (ooh la la), and they feel pretty realistic. Oh, and Tera’s signature is embedded in the Superskin, just so you can be sure it’s her endorsed vagina you’re fucking.

One thing my boyfriend likes about this particular Fleshlight is how much flatter it is on the front. His other Fleshlight is very round, and so he said it is “easier to go balls deep” in Tera. This must be serious business, since he has never used that phrase before in his life (and I hope he never does again). He also likes how open Tera’s labia are, making her easier to enter than the non-descript slit of his other Fleshlight. Although he generally finds Tera’s vulva aesthetically not hot, he admitted very non-eloquently, “when I’m putting my penis in it and I look at it, I’m like, ‘yeeaahh.'” In use, he can’t feel the labia or Tera’s signature (drat!).

As for the Twista inner texture; my boyfriend is torn. The diagonal ridges are reminiscent of a corkscrew, but the texture doesn’t start immediately, so his cock only gets to feel one rotation of the texture. And the ridges keep his thrusting from being as fluid as he would like.

So while I thought the texture would be a hit, it has not changed his life. At first, he preferred the Twista texture to none at all, but now he’s not so sure. Although he believes Tera is tighter than the original Fleshlight (figures), he appreciates the original simply based on ease of use. He will be using Tera, but only sometimes.

The same qualms about cleaning persist with this Fleshlight. Only water can be used (no soap), and the sleeve must be air-dried. The Twista texture presents a new cleaning issue: his come collects somewhere in the middle of the sleeve, rather than in the screw-off reservoir at the end. Also, because this Fleshlight is tighter than the original, it’s a little harder to stretch open to let the water flow through.

If cleaning wasn’t so irksome, he would use his Fleshlights a lot more. As is, he considers them an “occasional treat,” and uses them about 20% of the time (1 out of 5 jack-off sessions). At around $70, the Tera Patrick Fleshlight is more expensive than the build-your-own original by about $15. The vagina is a lot more realistic, but the Twista texture would be better suited to dudes with long cocks.

The Fleshlight is still one of the best masturbators my boyfriend has tried, and the only one he continues to use. For reference, I asked him again what the best thing about the Fleshlight is — still the material. And the worst thing? Still the cleaning. Oh, and he still thinks using the Fleshlight is better than a blowjob, but he wants to add, “I don’t think blowjobs are the total shit.”

Get the Tera Patrick Fleshlight at Fleshlight.

Find the Fleshlight of your dreams at Fleshlight, FleshjackGoodVibesEarly to Bed,
Smitten Kitten, Pleasure ChestLovehoney (international), or Come As You Are (Canada).

  1. The Fleshlight Girls line now comes in a more realistic — if you’re white — flesh tone. []
  • Ok so would it be inappropriate to ask, for the sake of the review and understanding what lengths would better appreciate this texture, how long your boyfriend’s cock is?

    I just bought my hub the nondescript and will be reviewing it soon. It was….interesting

  • @Dangerous Lilly: 6 inches.

  • namelesschaos

    Thanks for the review. I’m think of taking advantage of the Fleshlight Menage A Trois package as a birthday present to myself next mouth. The Twista model out of the four available textures, was the lowest one on the list and this review hasn’t changed my mind on that. I”ll probably get the stranded lotus and the Jenna haze forbidden texture. Any plans to review any of the other Fleshlight textures particularity those of the FLG line?

  • @namelesschaos: Unless the FG line comes out with more textures, we won’t be reviewing any more of them. The boyfriend’s squicked by the ass toys, and he’s not interested in the Lotus texture. He’s interested in trying the Speed Bump, Super Ribbed, and Stamina Training Unit textures, though!

  • Wilhelmina

    i find your bf’s interwoven comments hilarious and awesome.

  • @Wilhelmina: He is quite hilarious and awesome, if I do say so myself!

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  • Polly Vincere

    I asked mine last night if he’d prefer smooth or textured and showed him the differences. His response “How the hell would I know and why would I want to find out? Everything I like to fuck has a smooth canal.” lol

  • @Polly Vincere: I think that’s why my boyfriend prefers the “original” inner texture. 🙂

  • Selective Sensualist

    Another excellent review!

    I am also surprised that he didn’t prefer the textured sleeve. I had thought the original, nondescript, non-textured Fleshlight looked boring, but what do I know? After reading your reviews on the Fleshlights, I will definitely get my husband the original one, in addition to a textured one, at some point. I personally think the realistic vagina ones look interesting . . .

  • Bri

    I first read this review back in June, I think, and it really helped me decide on what to get my man. This is a great review because it has all the great product info that you always give as well as the male experience. Love it!

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  • Bryan

    I have this model and love it. I generally agree with the above review however I will say that there is one feature or issue that makes this very different from a pink lady. I don’t know if your man has experienced this before…

    Just with the way my penis is shaped, the head is much bigger than the shaft. Combine that with this particular texture, and when I come, it becomes so sensitive that I typically can’t even move it anymore. I both like this and at times dislike it, because in some instances it “ruins” the orgasm a tad. However, when I force myself through the sensitivity I come harder than any other fleshlight I’ve used. So I guess that’s a positive/negative.

  • @Bryan: Yes, he knows exactly what you are talking about! And I don’t know why I’ve never mentioned it in a review. He doesn’t like the feeling of over-stimulation on his head, so that’s one of the reasons he prefers his smooth-canal Fleshlight.

  • Ivan

    I’ve always shied away from Fleshlights because they just seemed like enormous unwieldy monstrosities to me. But Epiphora has never done me wrong in picking toys for my wife, and Fleshlight was running a 3-pack sale on their “girls” line, so I figured “what the hell”.

    I’m sorry to say that I’m disappointed with all three. I got this, the Stoya model, and the Lotus Garden (don’t remember the model’s name), because they were all highly rated.

    The sensation is… Well I wouldn’t say it was bad. They got the job done. They were enjoyable to use. But they’re barely enjoyable enough to justify the cleanup. They’re too squishy to really feel the textures. And when you add in the disgusting rubbery smell that they have that you can’t wash off your hands afterwards.

    I much prefer my Tenga 3D. However I’m embarrassed to admit that my favorite sleeve of all time is the California Exotics Universal Stimulator. Even though it’s craptastic jelly. It has this amazing “we molded this over threaded rod” texture on the inside. It’s the perfect balance between soft and stretchy and firm. My wife can see what’s going on through it ’cause it’s clear, so it’s fun for her too.

  • @Ivan: I’m sorry you didn’t like your Fleshlights. It saddens me that I have steered you wrong. I hope I did make it clear in my reviews that the Fleshlights are a pain in the ass to clean; I guess my boyfriend just tolerates it more than you are able to. I do want to get him a Tenga 3D to review at some point…

  • SarahLIFE

    @ea00313ff6a96de1cb05f1304d5e30b5:disqus and @Epiphora:disqus

    As a warning, there does seem to be a break-in period for all Fleshlights. People find that for the first 5-10 times they use it, it doesn’t feel very good at all because they need time to get used to the texture. After that magical break-in period, I have heard that it gets a lot better! So don’t give up just yet

  • Zee

    I love how not-eloquent your boyfriends comments are. He should write guest reviews.
    Also, thanks to your many Fleshlight reviews, I knew exactly what to get my best guy friend as a condolence gift when he broke up with his girlfriend (thats a normal platonic friend gift, right? I thought so), and he would not shut up about how great it was. So thank you for your work.

  • Tzipora

    So this might be an awkward confession (but I’m sure this won’t be the first time I’ve made one in your comment section lol) but holy hell, I don’t know who this porn star is or how much her actual vulva and labia look like this but…. I’m stunned by how much this fleshlight is shaped just like me. Lol. Like even down to the sort of triangular larger right labia. It’s almost uncanny. I’m a little in awe. It’s kinda awesome too. Sure never thought I had a “porn pussy” and eh, mine be a little more uneven than hers but wow I didn’t know any big name in porn had uneven or noticeable inner labia at all. So I have literally a “porn pussy” except not in the conventional sense of that phrase. I’m intrigued.

    Oh, but I look nothing like her otherwise. Lol. But I’ve just found my labial twin. Wow.

    (Tell me the fact that I’ve coined the phrase labial twin makes this fall somewhere in the top fifty most random and awesome comments youve ever received on a review? 😀 )

  • Labial twin is a great phrase, yes. I endorse it.

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