Apr 032013
 

we-got-you

So, I pulled my most elaborate April Fool’s Day prank ever this year. A faux Indiegogo campaign, sketches of potential products, a site re-design, a newsletter, a promotional video… even with the help of my partner in crime, Lorax Of Sex, it was an exhausting, delirium-inducing endeavor. But worth it?

I’ve become somewhat notorious for my April Fool’s Day jokes, as has the internet in general. In 2010, I started with a bang with my Cherry-Scented Vibro Dong review coupled with a soul-crushingly ugly site design. In 2011, I wrote an ~*~*~*~* Adult intimate product review!! *~*~*~*~ and redesigned my blog into a mommy blogger nightmare. Last year I was more subtle, publishing a serious-sounding post about upcoming terrible blog changes.

This year, I wanted to go for the gold, and I roped Lorax Of Sex into joining me. I knew I wanted to do an Indiegogo campaign — it’s the quintessential stupid start-up thing these days — but we weren’t sure about anything else.

At Catalyst, it came to us finally and suddenly. It was so simple, so stupid, so legit enough to fool people maybe for longer than a second. It would be called the Joy Ride, a car seat cover with an O-ring in the seat. I squealed as I gleefully scribbled in Lorax’s notebook, “NOW YOU DON’T HAVE TO COMPENSATE.”

joy-ride-homepage

500 zillion hours later, there was this: a site design complete with asphalt background, a sidebar full of Indiegogo “perks,” and a bunch of extra shit (video, newsletter, plus Lorax’s post on the campaign) that I thought might make it seem like we were really serious.

It’s absolutely impossible to find free stock footage of a woman driving a car, and writing a cliche script is hard — but the promo video still came out pretty great. Shira B. Katz is the lovely, pitch-perfect lady behind the voiceover in the video (thanks, Shira!), and my boyfriend will now forever be known as the king of the orgasm crescendo. I told him I wanted music that sounded like a tampon, yogurt, and minivan commercial all at once, and he NAILED IT.

The stretchy O-ring on the Joy Ride was taken directly from an image of a Spareparts harness, painstakingly Photoshopped by me onto an image of a car seat cover. And, as per usual for new and ~revolutionary~ toys, the Cog designs (drawn lovingly by Lorax Of Sex) were all direct rip-offs of other toys: the Rock Box “female” attachment, the Tantus Charmer, and the Vixen Creations Tristan plug.

Also, the Privacy Blanket idea came from my friend Sundae. Truly genius!

AND THE PERKS OH THE PERKS.

all-joy-ride-perks

My favorite was this one, written by yours truly:

$2,500 When This Baby Hits 88 mph

We will personally place five Joy Rides in a time capsule for your future grandchildren and bury them in a secret location. We will carefully monitor the whereabouts of your grandchildren, and when they are of appropriate age, we’ll send them discreet directions to dig up this supreme treasure.

I also really enjoyed riffing on Jimmyjane with the $40,000 Stretch Hummer perk.

It’s seriously embarrassing how many hours I spent working on this. How I stayed up until 6 a.m. Monday morning, my back aching, to finish it to my liking, despite a sensation of impending doom that reminded me of college. My ideas are always far more grand than they should be, especially when it comes to silly things like this. I’m sad it only lasted one day.

But actually fooling people was, of course, the best reward. I cackled maniacally as I read the first YouTube comment:

youtube-joy-ride-comment

And my favorite Tumblr reblog was easily this one:

why the fuck is this a thing that exists

Many people were quite worried about the safety of the Joy Ride. They asked “shouldn’t you pull over first?” and “is it just me or does this seem a little (lot?) unsafe? Isn’t using a cell phone while driving scary enough?” I couldn’t resist continuing the joke via Twitter.

epiphora-safety-tweet

The best comment on the post itself was definitely this one:

best-joy-ride-comment

Because I love that the 50 Shades of Grey reference was the breaking point. I just love that.

I’ll admit, as the hours passed and I became less and less sane Sunday night/Monday morning (I may have even prolonged my cold by not getting enough sleep that night), the urge to actually collect money did rise. But I’m not quite that soulless. Instead, if you enjoyed the joke, click one of my affiliate links or one of Lorax’s and get yourself something nice that won’t cause car accidents.

What was your favorite part of the joke? At which point did you realize it wasn’t real? Have I gone off the deep end with my April Fool’s ideas?

  • Joyce Clark

    LOL!!!! Yeah you got me!!! Complete with my typo!!! OOPS!!! Good one for sure!!! Eagerly awaiting next years prank! 2xSparkle8

  • robin varni

    haha! The line “The O-ring is unlike anything you’ve ever seen before.” made me think “Epiphora would never use phrasing like that” but I didn’t figure it out for sure until the diagram of the male attachment. My early morning brain kicked in and I realized what day it was. What a relief! Then I read through all the pledge levels giggling maniacally . My fave was the Cat Call. My cat would prove a challenge to you. Great start to my day, so thank you for the effort!

  • Reenie

    hahaha! Best I’ve had in a long time! Definitely got me there. It actually took me quite a while to realize that I was fooled…haha. Great idea! I really can’t imagine the number of hours you put into this. It’s amazing!

  • Lolly

    I totally fell. I was sitting there, mumbling “that doesn’t seem safe… but I’m sure Epiphora has done her research, she knows what she’s doing.” I then worked out a whole reasonable scenario for use in my head, like it was something it would be legal to have on the passenger seat only, and you could use it whilst pulled over, and maybe the… etc, and then I too got to the Inner Goddess bit and went HANG ON A MINUTE. Then I felt very silly and had a good old laugh at my own expense. Bravo.

  • I’m trying to remember how we first started down the path of insanity that created this, and I don’t recall. I just know it was awesome, and I’m seriously depressed now that it’s over. And of course now there’s the big question: how do we top this next year?

  • My first reaction was that you put a lot of work in. I thought it looked pretty professional, despite the insanity.

    Then, like Bambarella, I read the 50 Shades of Poo reference and was like “OMG WHAT IS THE DATE TODAY, I AM AN IDIOT”

    Can’t wait til next year! (No pressure)

  • (Also, how sad is it that your April Fool’s joke looked way more legit than many actual sex toy companies?)
    (Answer: pretty sad)

  • 52ndcentury

    I kinda knew straight off the bat that it had to be a joke given what day it was, but as the day went on I got more and more worried that it WASN’T a joke given how seriously you seemed to be promoting it. It actually woke me up in the middle of the night thinking “God I hope she isn’t serious about this blimey…”

  • Jules

    That Joy Ride article is the first article I read when I discovered this website a few days ago. Needless to say, I completely fell for it without a second thought.
    But hey, at least I didn’t find out about Hey Epiphora on mommy blog day.

  • Ten

    I realized it wasn’t real when I noticed that the o-ring was way too far in the front to work for insertion.

    Which means I looked at it for a long time believing it to be real.

    I’m not sure if that says something about your skills, or about the state of the sex toy industry.

  • Oh god!

  • dizzygirl

    BRAVO!

  • Aisu

    I figured out pretty quickly that it was a joke, and reblogged the Tumblr post with gushing excitement… which got one of my followers to make the “why the fuck is this a thing that exists” reblog. I’m proud to have spread this absurdity on.

  • I applaud your contribution!

  • smiolo

    actually thought of unsubscribbing to your feed for a second

  • Glad you didn’t!

  • Taffy

    Hey Ephoria,
    I know I’m a month late, but I needed to say it wasn’t until this moment I realized your review was a joke! This is my first time commenting, I’m a younger male (23 yrs old) and mainly check your blog every couple of months or so when I’m “researching” my girlfriend’s next gift. By the way, I really appreciate your reviews, though, for my needs, you’re a bit hard on Lelo (which has produced nothing but amazing products as far as my girlfriend is concerned. (then again we’re young: she’s still terrified of our recent purchase, the Njoy Pure Wand which we have nicknamed the G-Hammer)).
    When I first saw the post I thought to myself ” Seriously?…that’s weird, but whatever” and skipped the review. Actually reading it now I find it hilarious! Keep up the good work! Many thanks for your effort and time!

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