Review: Isla

LELO Isla on red satin.

The LELO Isla is one of three toys in LELO’s new Insignia line. These toys are characterized by cut-out handles and metallic cores, but my favorite part is that the toys come with brooches. At the risk of turning a review of a luxury sex toy into a grotesque experience, the brooch just made me think of bro-oches. Which is an awesome association, in my world, but could be nightmare-inducing for you.

As if there is any way to recover from that link, here are some non-frightening facts. Isla is quite slim (a little over an inch in diameter) and lightly curved. The whole thing’s 8.5″ long, but only about 5.5″ of that is insertable. The inner silver core is metallic-coated ABS plastic, so it doesn’t have the weight or amazing sheen that stainless steel does. The 100% silicone (mine is turquoise!) is silky to the touch, but the entire toy is stiff. It’s lightweight, too.

The technique for charging Isla is odd. The toy comes with a little dimple in its base; this must be punctured with the charging jack. When you remove the jack, the dimple appears to close up again (in actuality there is a minute tear that can’t be seen). This is how the toy is fully waterproof; LELO also informed me that “with or without the silicone skin, the product is still waterproof, the skin is just for double protection.” I was dubious, but I tested it in the bath and had no issues. Isla charges for 2 hours, and supposedly runs for 4. Mine has not died after the initial charge yet, so I am content.

Internally, I’m not a big fan of this toy. My policy on hard insertables is that they must either have an interesting texture or they must have a great G-spot curve. Isla has neither. While it massages my G-spot a little if I thrust quickly with it, the lukewarm slim girth detracts from the experience. And frankly, the hardness of the material makes it feel a bit like a cheap plastic vibrator, not a luxury one. However, I do like Isla’s vibration patterns, of which there are six.

Although I don’t use the loop, I still adore the handle on this thing. It’s big and burly, so it’s easy to grasp, and the 3 buttons (vibration increase, vibration decrease, and mode) are perfect. Best of all, the handle does not get drenched in lube! Hallelujah! This is an issue with shorter LELO toys like the Gigi, and is a problem with any short toy that I shove into my black hole of a vagina. It’s wonderful to have a dry thrusting-hand for once.

(Obnoxiously, there is a groove in between the metallic plastic and the silicone that collects dried lube and vag juice. I have to clean it out with my fingernail, as even a toothbrush couldn’t do it.)

I tried Isla on my clit, and I actually liked it. The vibrations are not the most intense ever — similar to the original Siri’s, though less rumbly — but they are more than enough to get me off. Isla wouldn’t be my first choice for clitoral stimulation, but it gets the job done without feeling awkward, which is more than I can say for some other clit stimulators.

Isla is a well-made toy with nice vibrations, but ultimately, its shape is muy boring. If you like stiff insertables that are mildly shaped, you’d like Isla. However, would you like a price tag of $189? Probably not. Sadly, I feel the same way about the rabbit-style vibe in the Insignia line, Soraya. Overpriced, man. Way overpriced.

Oh yeah, and Isla comes with a one-year warranty and a satin storage pouch. The pouch is elegant and double-lined — black on the outside, white on the inside — which is a step up from LELO’s previous one-color bags. The fact that I noticed this is slightly disturbing.