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    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

    Review: Zumio E

    New York Toy Collective Jack 2-in-1 FTM stroker & packer

    Guest Review: Jack stroker & packer

    Review: OhMyG

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Sex toys on top of wrapping paper.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    The current state of Early to Bed in Chicago, with packing materials amidst dildo displays.

    Dildos in a pandemic: the sex toy industry and COVID-19

    My column in the high school paper, with the headline "Breaking four years of silence." There is a rainbow gradient effect over the image.

    That time I came out to my entire high school

    My logo on top of a glorious sex toy array, on top of a turquoise vulva-esque backdrop.

    Welcome to the NEW Hey Epiphora!

    Supplies for Mirena IUD insertion laid out at the doctor's office, including forceps, lube, gloves, and the Mirena box.

    The (not so) harrowing tale of my IUD insertion

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    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ

Insignia

Insignia is a particular line of toys from LELO usually characterized by silver plastic bits that I guess are supposed to look luxurious. Most of the toys in this line suck. Just, historically.

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LELO Sona "sonic" air flow vibrator on a flower-patterned plate.
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Sona Cruise

November 13, 2018
You could almost hear the collective groan from the entire sex toy industry when LELO announced the Sona. After an... Keep Reading
Black LELO Ora (original), blue LELO Ora 2 on a hardwood floor.
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Ora 2

December 15, 2014
I wish the entirety of this review could just be the word no. Not even repeated for emphasis, not even in... Keep Reading
LELO Hula Beads in the snow.
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Hula Beads

November 19, 2014
Imagine a cat with its head tilted to the side in puzzlement. That is me whenever I use the LELO... Keep Reading
LELO Smart Wands, black with silver handles, lying on a hardwood floor.
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Smart Wands (medium and large)

December 21, 2013
Unreliable. That’s the word I’d use to describe the LELO Smart Wands. Not an adjective you want applied to any... Keep Reading
LELO Ida vibrator in a box of various nail polishes.
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Ida

October 10, 2013
I think my boyfriend is going to break up with me over the LELO Ida. I can see it in... Keep Reading
LELO Ida "couples'" vibrator
FeaturesSex Toy News

The LELO Ida is coming…

September 23, 2013
So I have this in my possession: And yes, that is exactly what it does. It swivels and swivels and... Keep Reading
Fleshlight sample, Tantus dildos, Vixen silicone sample, PicoBong die
BanterToybox Reports

Mini sex toy doodads!

August 27, 2012
I think I can call this a legit collection now. Back in April, after jealously ogling everyone’s photos of the... Keep Reading
LELO Lyla remote controlled vibrator, lying in the grass in Maui.
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Lyla

December 28, 2011
Soaring hope followed by crushing despair. That’s the LELO Lyla. The first ever rechargeable wireless egg, meant for insertion in... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Soraya

July 6, 2011
The world of luxury rabbit vibes is not an expansive one. Fun Factory has some with varying degrees of success;... Keep Reading
LELO Isla on red satin.
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Isla

December 9, 2010
The LELO Isla is one of three toys in LELO’s new Insignia line. These toys are characterized by cut-out handles... Keep Reading

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Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

Sex toy Black Friday + Cyber Monday sales!

Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

Review: Dame Kip and Pom

Sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse winners!

Giveaway: sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse

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