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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
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Me working on a very early layout for my blog design. Toys left to right: Uberrime Splendid (large), Blush Sweet Rush, Portland Toy Company Trinket.
AnnouncementsBanterBlogger Lyfe

My big summer project: a blog overhaul

May 18, 2019
In middle school, while others played wall ball, I taught myself basic HTML. I was one of the kids staying...
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A decade of sex blogging. Cupcake butt plug and Shilo.
Anyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterBlogger LyfeBreak Out the TissuesGreatest HitsShenanigansSunshine & RainbowsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

A decade of sex blogging

October 12, 2017
The cliché is true — it feels like just yesterday and like forever ago. This week marks 10 years since...
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Me and Sandra from SheVibe, giggling in a hotel room with vulvaesque wallpaper.
Ask PiphBanterGuidesShenanigans

Sex toy video chat with Sandra from SheVibe and Epiphora!

August 22, 2016
Me + Sandra from SheVibe + a hotel room with vulvaesque wallpaper + a phone camera + wine = this...
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Sex toy manicure from Finger Bang! Featuring dildos, vibrators, kegel balls, a butt plug, and a harness.
BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Look, I got a sex toy manicure (at Finger Bang!)

August 3, 2016
In the past, there was no option for me to enshrine my favorite objects — sex toys — on my...
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Various logos: CatalystCon, SheVibe, Sex Out Loud Radio
Announcements

CatalystCon East: sponsorship, a panel, and… a live studio audience

January 25, 2014
You may have heard — I’m going to CatalystCon East again this year. What you may not know, and should know,...
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Lorax, me, and Queerie Bradshaw showing off our special conference manicures on top of some Tantus stickers.
BanterShenanigansTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

I can’t sum up CatalystCon

November 12, 2013
It began in the airport, with my iced coffee in tow, and two war vets grumbling to each other about...
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The Feminist Porn Book lying on top of my suitcase, with the LELO Mona 2 and some business cards.
Announcements

On my way to CatalystCon West

September 24, 2013
In 15 hours, I will be touching down in Los Angeles for CatalystCon West. Yes, two days early. Shut it....
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CatalystCon logo
Announcements

I’m speaking at CatalystCon West!

June 14, 2013
You can thank Lorax Of Sex for roping me into this one! Time was running out on the speaking deadline...
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CatalystCon swag bag. Apparently Wet makes a lube called Uranus.
BanterShenanigansTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

The amazing things that happened at CatalystCon

March 20, 2013
IT’S ALREADY OVER. Who’s surprised, though, really? Catalyst was bound to go by in the blink of an eye. Even...
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A grid of my fancy business cards laid out on the floor.
Announcements

Armed and ready for Catalyst

March 11, 2013
You guys, CatalystCon is happening. Like, really soon. In just a couple days, I will be traveling alone for the...
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CatalystCon logo
Announcements

Meet me at CatalystCon!

January 17, 2013
I got some of the best news of possibly my life a few days ago. I’M GOING TO CATALYST. I...
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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

Strapless strap-on dildos. Tantus Feeldoe More, Tantus Realdoe Stout, Fun Factory ShareVibe, Happy Valley Tango.

Why I don’t like strapless strap-on dildos

Black LELO Ora (original), blue LELO Ora 2 on a hardwood floor.

Review: Ora 2

BlissMe vibrators: Mr. Cowboy, Mr. U.K., Mr. Right, Mr. Badboy, and Mr. C.E.O

Um, No: BlissMe vibrators with… personalities

iVibe Massager phone app

Review: iVibe Massager phone app

Bubble Love pleasure jet and Dilly dildo attachment on an old boat dock.

Review: Bubble Love

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