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    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

    A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.

    Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

  • New here?
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    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
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Sasha Grey

Sasha Grey is one of my favorite female porn performers. She’s adorable, and her dirty talk is phenomenal.

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Justine Joli and Claire Adams fucking, with rose petals scattered around and on them.
FeaturesJack-off Journal

Jack-off Journal #11

September 23, 2010
August 5th, 2010 Today I watched Justine Joli: Lost with Saraid, which I had been eagerly anticipating. Very quickly realized it...
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Belladonna shoving a purple jelly dildo down Sasha Grey's throat.
Adventures in SquirtingFeaturesJack-off Journal

Jack-off Journal #9

July 19, 2010
June 6th, 2010 Here’s a little secret for you: I’ve been jacking off to words lately. I know, blasphemy. I usually...
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Badly-designed web ad which reads, "She Wouldn't Fuck You! You Can Change That: Follow 2 Easy Rules, Get Ripped in 4 Weeks!"
BanterDirty Videos

She Wouldn’t Fuck You!

April 24, 2010
Dear this spammy ad’s target audience: I don’t think getting ripped will be enough. Here’s a better idea… Have a...
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When you zoom out, you see that the man performing cunnilingus is fully clothed, down to the dirty sneakers.
FeaturesJack-off Journal

Jack-off Journal #3

January 3, 2010
December 10th, 2009 Having received an orange Jimmyjane Little Chroma in the mail from a Halloween giveaway I didn’t know I...
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The Birthday Party
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: The Birthday Party

November 1, 2009
I expect a lot from Sasha Grey. And I expected a lot from The Birthday Party, since it marks one...
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DVD cover of Rough Sex, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
Hi, I love youPornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Rough Sex

August 23, 2009
So we’ve already established that rough sex, when directed and shot by genius pornographer Tristan Taormino, is hot as fuck....
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PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Girls Girls Girls II

April 5, 2009
Girls Girls Girls II is an ’80s-inspired porno directed by the fabulous Joanna Angel. There is no plotline, just discrete scenes,...
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Hi, I love youPornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Live In My Secrets

February 8, 2009
I hesitated in requesting Live In My Secrets. The trailer, which features relentless screams from the infamous “God Warrior” (“she’s...
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PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Bree & Sasha

December 27, 2008
Genre: LesbianDirector: Andre MadnessLength: 2 hours, 5 minutesCast: Bree Olson, Sasha Grey, Ava Rose, Lisa Neils, Angie Savage, Lexxi Tyler,...
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Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Epiphora's orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

Movie Night: The Final Member

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  • Latest posts
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