• About
    • About Epiphora
    • Press
    • My sex blogging course ✨
    • Blogroll
  • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Consulting
  • Subscribe
  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

    Review: Zumio E

    New York Toy Collective Jack 2-in-1 FTM stroker & packer

    Guest Review: Jack stroker & packer

    Review: OhMyG

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Sex toys on top of wrapping paper.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    The current state of Early to Bed in Chicago, with packing materials amidst dildo displays.

    Dildos in a pandemic: the sex toy industry and COVID-19

    My column in the high school paper, with the headline "Breaking four years of silence." There is a rainbow gradient effect over the image.

    That time I came out to my entire high school

    My logo on top of a glorious sex toy array, on top of a turquoise vulva-esque backdrop.

    Welcome to the NEW Hey Epiphora!

    Supplies for Mirena IUD insertion laid out at the doctor's office, including forceps, lube, gloves, and the Mirena box.

    The (not so) harrowing tale of my IUD insertion

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ

Sasha Grey

Sasha Grey is one of my favorite female porn performers. She’s adorable, and her dirty talk is phenomenal.

Latest
  • Latest
  • Oldest
  • Random
  • A to Z
Justine Joli and Claire Adams fucking, with rose petals scattered around and on them.
FeaturesJack-off Journal

Jack-off Journal #11

September 23, 2010
August 5th, 2010 Today I watched Justine Joli: Lost with Saraid, which I had been eagerly anticipating. Very quickly realized it... Keep Reading
Belladonna shoving a purple jelly dildo down Sasha Grey's throat.
Adventures in SquirtingFeaturesJack-off Journal

Jack-off Journal #9

July 19, 2010
June 6th, 2010 Here’s a little secret for you: I’ve been jacking off to words lately. I know, blasphemy. I usually... Keep Reading
Badly-designed web ad which reads, "She Wouldn't Fuck You! You Can Change That: Follow 2 Easy Rules, Get Ripped in 4 Weeks!"
BanterDirty Videos

She Wouldn’t Fuck You!

April 24, 2010
Dear this spammy ad’s target audience: I don’t think getting ripped will be enough. Here’s a better idea… Have a... Keep Reading
When you zoom out, you see that the man performing cunnilingus is fully clothed, down to the dirty sneakers.
FeaturesJack-off Journal

Jack-off Journal #3

January 3, 2010
December 10th, 2009 Having received an orange Jimmyjane Little Chroma in the mail from a Halloween giveaway I didn’t know I... Keep Reading
The Birthday Party
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: The Birthday Party

November 1, 2009
I expect a lot from Sasha Grey. And I expected a lot from The Birthday Party, since it marks one... Keep Reading
DVD cover of Rough Sex, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
Hi, I love youPornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Rough Sex

August 23, 2009
So we’ve already established that rough sex, when directed and shot by genius pornographer Tristan Taormino, is hot as fuck.... Keep Reading
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Girls Girls Girls II

April 5, 2009
Girls Girls Girls II is an ’80s-inspired porno directed by the fabulous Joanna Angel. There is no plotline, just discrete scenes,... Keep Reading
Hi, I love youPornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Live In My Secrets

February 8, 2009
I hesitated in requesting Live In My Secrets. The trailer, which features relentless screams from the infamous “God Warrior” (“she’s... Keep Reading
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Bree & Sasha

December 27, 2008
Genre: LesbianDirector: Andre MadnessLength: 2 hours, 5 minutesCast: Bree Olson, Sasha Grey, Ava Rose, Lisa Neils, Angie Savage, Lexxi Tyler,... Keep Reading

Fresh tweets

Perfect encapsulation of why Maude's ad campaign is such a pretentious joke https://t.co/HaNGhv2V3Q
7 hours ago
  • Reply
  • 5 Retweet
  • Favorite

Latest posts

Piph Libs™: mad libs for discerning perverts

Piph Libs™: mad libs for discerning perverts

Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

Sex toy Black Friday + Cyber Monday sales!

Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

Review: Dame Kip and Pom

Sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse winners!

Recent comments

Blog sponsors

Sex Toy Union (opens in new tab) FmRealm (opens in new tab) FmRealm (opens in new tab)

Tescort.com  ·  VR Porn Videos  ·  Mailovedoll

  • About
  • Contact
  • Advertise with me
  • Consulting
  • Sex Blogging Course
  • Subscribe
© Hey Epiphora. Don't steal. Ask if you're not sure. [Disclosure & Privacy Policy.]
  • Latest posts
  • Reviews
  • Guides
  • Banter
  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Browse greatest hits
    • Browse tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    • Epiphora-approved sex toy shops
    • Sex toy sales, deals, and promos
    • Epiphora-approved porn
  • FAQ
  • About
    • About Epiphora
    • Press
    • My sex blogging course
    • Blogroll
  • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Consulting
  • Subscribe
Start typing to see results or hit ESC to close
snark level: highvibrator reviewssquirting
See all results

Dildos in your inbox.

Join over 14,000 fellow dong worshippers

Unsubscribe whenever you wish. [Privacy policy.]

Or perhaps you’d like to subscribe in a different way?