Jack-off Journal #3

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December 10th, 2009

Having received an orange Jimmyjane Little Chroma in the mail from a Halloween giveaway I didn’t know I entered, I decided to pit the Little Chroma against the Wahl. The Little Chroma was okay, though nothing to ever spend anything close to $125 on. It was easier to hold, but the Wahl was far more amazing to feel.

I was on the bed in the bedroom and without dildos, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me one of his choice. He trotted in with Mr. Man, gave me a little blowjob with it, and left. I finished myself off with the Seduction in my vagina and the Wahl on my clit. It was a goodbye fuck.

December 14th, 2009

Sasha Grey’s The Perversion is boring as fuck. What’s with this trend? The Wahl, however, is awesome as fuck, especially when I alternate between its two settings.

December 17th, 2009

Oh, porn. You never fail to amuse. This is why you, camera person, should not zoom out from the pussy eating:

When you zoom out, you see that the man performing cunnilingus is fully clothed, down to the dirty sneakers.

That is all.

December 18th, 2009

My period wanted to stop me from jacking off by being heavy and giving me cramps, but I would have none of it. I was craving another session with the Wahl, because I’d just received a special attachment for it in the mail, and a little blood was not going to stop me.

I watched more of Belladonna’s Strapped Dykes, tweeting about it a little as I went along. Suddenly an instant message from my friend Carnivalesq popped up, asking what I was watching (perv!). It was then that I realized my mouse’s batteries were finally dead (it warns me for like two weeks beforehand). I could’ve ignored the message until I finished, but I’m a good friend/freak, so I changed the batteries and started chatting. Mid-masturbation chats are not weird for us, you see.

Anyway, the porn was hot as shit and the attachment was great, but afterward I had to clean the blood off the Wahl. There was some inside of it, in a crevasse on the post, that made me hate life. But my toy-cleaning toothbrush prevailed.

December 22nd, 2009

Having received the Bswish Bcurious earlier in the day, I was so ready to give it a go. I popped in Strapped Dykes again, resumed where I’d left off, and went to work. To my delight, the Bcurious was to my liking in terms of vibration strength. I continued to oooh and ahhh over the porn — this time over Syd Blakovich rubbing her vulva over Aiden Starr’s nipple. My mind went wild just thinking about how to effectively explain the hotness of this porn in a review.

I used several dildos, one of them the Fun Factory G-Twist, which I hadn’t used since I reviewed it almost a year ago (jeez!). My vagina is no longer a wimp, so it wasn’t uncomfortable anymore. Rejoice!

December 31st, 2009

My new year’s eve: my boyfriend went off to see this thing called a “concert,” and I was waiting for a friend to come drink with me. I set up my desk for a jack-off session, even turning on the string of orange lights hanging above it (hey, I was feeling happy and festive), and turned on Nostalgia.

I had two new NobEssence dildos — one, a replacement Seduction, the other a beautiful Delve — that were all I needed in addition to my oscillating love. Somehow, I managed to watch the entire porn film, getting off on the incredible G-spot pressure that the Seduction provides so well. Then I busted out the peppermint schnapps and proceeded to tweet errantly. It was a good night.