Mar 212010
 

I’ve been reviewing sex toys for over two years now, so it’s high time I tried some mothafuggin’ anal beads.

Yet… there’s not much to say about the Flexi Felix. This 100% silicone string of beads is made by Fun Factory, purveyor of cute sex toys with faces — although I don’t want to think too hard about the face in this case, since my fingers are meant to gouge Felix’s poor eyes out. Felix comes in black, blue, and pink and is one foot long (9″ insertable). Felix is not as vibrant in color as most photos portray; mine’s the blue one, and it’s more of a pale blue than a sky blue.

Felix’s silicone is matte and generally firm, but slightly squishy and incredibly floppy between the beads. Basically, Felix collapses and droops whenever you do anything with it (him? Eh…). The beads slowly increase in size; the first one is about the size of a misshapen grape, and the last is more like two grapes. Fused. You know what I mean.

So, anal beads are incredibly awkward to insert. These are, anyway. All they want to do is flop. They do not want to go easily. It’s a slow process, bead by bead, that would be a lot less stressful if left up to a partner. Once my ass is stuffed with the beads, Felix’s head hangs out of my butt. This is Felix’s only real downside — this is not the kind of base that can rest quietly between butt cheeks. Sitting is not very comfortable. I mean, there’s a face there.

I decided that the fifth bead was a little much for me, so I jacked off with four of the beads inserted. It definitely felt good, and as I thrusted a dildo in my vagina, it jiggled the positioning of the beads.

As I neared orgasm, I began to awkwardly position myself so that I could pull the beads out when I came. At this point, the oversized base became a blessing. I shoved my fingers through the eye holes and held on for dear life. When I came, I tugged to my heart’s content. Fireworks didn’t go off in front of my eyes, but it did feel nice.

Cleaning Flexi Felix is a bit challenging, but I’ve found a method that works fairly well. I call it the scrunch-n-wash: ball Felix up and rub vigorously between palms. With soap. And water.

Although I have no anal beads to compare Flexi Felix to, I think this is a pretty perfect set. There are enough beads to fill me up; they’re soft enough to snuggle around in my ass; and the handle is useful (albeit clunky when sat upon). I imagine I won’t be needing or wanting another set of anal beads for quite a while now.

Get the Flexi Felix at SheVibe, Early to BedBabeland, Fun Factory, or Pleasure Chest.

  • Carnivalesq

    A FAAAACE A FAAAAACE.

  • ThatToyChick

    When Felix was new, and I only saw pictures, I was surprised that they were so floppy when I finally got a chance to hold them. I expected they’d be firm silicone with a tiny bit of give, maybe even with a bendable (covered wire-esque) core to “pose” them.

    I’m meh on beads. Maybe I just haven’t found the right ones?

  • I enjoy the look and concept of them, but when it comes down to using them, I am ambivalent about beads. Perhaps I’m doing it wrong. Though, they generally seemed like a toy best used with a partner.

    He does make for a good handle, though.

  • You know, I’ve never had a very positive solo experience with anal beads either… but with a partner, WOW. Fun to put in, fun to fuck while they’re in, fun to pull out. Part (or maybe most) of the thrill is not having control over exactly when they are removed. You might recruit your partner to give you a hand or two with Felix and see if it’s a bit more… fireworks-ish. 🙂

  • I’ve thought about trying those before but I couldn’t get over having anal beads that smile at me, lol. Weird think to get hung up on, I know.

  • You know, that thing reminds me of something, but it would probably creep everybody out. 😀

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  • Trix

    It took me forever to figure out how to use beads in the first place…I have to be in the mood for them, but when I am, it’s perfection. I’m usually deeply squicked by toys with faces (that’s why I never got a rabbit vibe), but somehow I forget about that with these. Maybe because the face is the handle and not actually in contact with anything? I always feel a little weird because the pulling-out never feels as amazing as the going-in does (don’t know if it’s the texture of these particular beads or just the way I’m wired).

  • Selective Sensualist

    Well, this is cute and would probably be a good beginner’s set of anal beads. I’m a complete newbie to anal play. I even have a hard time taking the Fun Factory Bootie . . .

  • Bri

    OMG, best part: ‘there’s a FACE down there!’ hahahahaha….And gouging Felix’s poor eyes out every time…poor Felix.

  • Android

    Nice review, it seemed really balanced and honest. I’m just looking to get in to anal play and have been searching the net for ass-friendly looking toys. I don’t think I would go for this one as there is just something a little too childish about. Possibly the faint resemblance to the Very Hungry Caterpillar….Anyway, I must continue my search. =]

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