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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

    Review: Zumio E

    New York Toy Collective Jack 2-in-1 FTM stroker & packer

    Guest Review: Jack stroker & packer

    Review: OhMyG

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Sex toys on top of wrapping paper.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    The current state of Early to Bed in Chicago, with packing materials amidst dildo displays.

    Dildos in a pandemic: the sex toy industry and COVID-19

    My column in the high school paper, with the headline "Breaking four years of silence." There is a rainbow gradient effect over the image.

    That time I came out to my entire high school

    My logo on top of a glorious sex toy array, on top of a turquoise vulva-esque backdrop.

    Welcome to the NEW Hey Epiphora!

    Supplies for Mirena IUD insertion laid out at the doctor's office, including forceps, lube, gloves, and the Mirena box.

    The (not so) harrowing tale of my IUD insertion

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    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ

Fun Factory

Fun Factory is a German vibrator manufacturer. Their designs are whimsical and colorful. The best Fun Factory toys are the innovative Stronic G and Stronic Surf (they thrust!) and versatile external vibe Volta. They also make menstrual cups and my fave silicone butt plug, the Bootie.

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Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!
"The Industry"BanterShenanigansSunshine & RainbowsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

September 25, 2020
Fun Factory has been a trailblazer in the sex toy industry since their inception. They utilized silicone from the get-go,... Keep Reading
Fun Factory Volta vibrator (black line) in the snow.
Giveaways

Giveaway: get goth with an all black vibrator!

March 19, 2019
The last vestiges of winter are stubbornly hanging on, but I know just how to melt your frozen hearts: a... Keep Reading
Graphic of the latest sex toys.
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: inclusive marketing and a vibrator with a butt

February 11, 2019
One of my favorite dildos — which was tragically discontinued years ago — has risen from the dead! Once known... Keep Reading
Best & Worst Sex Toys of the YearGuides

Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

December 31, 2018
Before we give the middle finger to 2018, please come along with me on a romp through the year in... Keep Reading
Fun Factory Volta rechargeable vibrator hanging out in a glass bowl of sea glass.
Greatest HitsHi, I love youPenis ToysSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Volta

November 5, 2018
I’m not the type to chase adventure. Some people hop on roller coasters, travel to far-off lands, skydive out of... Keep Reading
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: epic girth and vibrating tendrils

September 24, 2018
VIXEN MADE A NEW DILDO! Unfortunately, it’s too effing big for my vagina! The Gambler (such a good name) is... Keep Reading
Giveaways

Rock your G-spot giveaway winners!

May 19, 2018
Recently, somebody pointed out to me just how far my giveaways have come. An old giveaway from the early days... Keep Reading
Giveaway: rock your G-spot with the Fun Factory Stronic G!
Giveaways

Giveaway: rock your G-spot!

April 17, 2018
Hey, friend, how’s your G-spot doing lately? Still real, despite what the media says? Perhaps feeling a bit drab, a little... Keep Reading
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: bionic dildos and a bundle of alien fingers

April 12, 2018
Yay, the Canadian cuties at Fuze have four new suction cup dildos: Flame, Major (uncut and girthy!), Freddie, and Star.... Keep Reading
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: thrustin’, suckin’, and lube dispensin’

January 10, 2018
Most important news first, y’all: Fun Factory’s Stronic G is a REVELATION. Like the other Stronics, this toy thrusts all... Keep Reading
Best & Worst Sex Toys of the YearGuides

Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2017

December 31, 2017
2017 was a landmark year for this old blog. I commemorated an entire decade of blogging about sex toys, got... Keep Reading
Fun Factory Stronic G pulsator on a slab of white marble.
DildosGreatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Stronic G

November 19, 2017
Four years ago, my G-spot was forever changed by a revolutionary sex toy called the Stronic Eins. Not really a... Keep Reading
Fun Factory Fun Cups hanging out on a black leather surface.
Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Fun Cups

October 1, 2017
My fanaticism for menstrual cups borders on religious. I’ve been using them almost exclusively for about 4 years now, and... Keep Reading
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: menstrual cups and “cyclonic vibrations”

September 24, 2017
FUN FACTORY IS MAKING MENSTRUAL CUPS. YES, THIS DESERVES ALL CAPS. They’re called the Fun Cups. I have used them... Keep Reading
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: a pint-sized Doxy and devil horn cervix ticklers

June 1, 2017
We-Vibe is making cock rings! And a butt plug! All of ’em are app-compatible, which makes a lot of sense... Keep Reading
Strapless strap-on dildos. Tantus Feeldoe More, Tantus Realdoe Stout, Fun Factory ShareVibe, Happy Valley Tango.
DildosGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Why I don’t like strapless strap-on dildos

March 27, 2017
I’ve never thought strapless strap-on dildos were the second coming of Christ. Let’s start there. I have my Joque harness,... Keep Reading
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🩸 CN: menstrual blood 🩸 Tonight's masturbatory battlefield. It's day 4 of my period but looks a lot gorier because… https://t.co/llinKCLlA1
11 hours ago
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Sex toy Black Friday + Cyber Monday sales!

Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

Review: Dame Kip and Pom

Sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse winners!

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