Nov 192017

Fun Factory Stronic G pulsator

Four years ago, my G-spot was forever changed by a revolutionary sex toy called the Stronic Eins. Not really a dildo and definitely not a vibrator, the Eins features an internal weight that facilitates a back-and-forth thrusting movement. This “pulsator” felt unlike anything I’d ever tried, wiggling against my G-spot so enthusiastically, and quickly became one of my favorite insertables. Fun Factory’s Stronic line proved that innovation is still possible in the sex toy industry — true innovation, not gimmicky and spurious “innovation” with air quotes.

So a few weeks ago when an email popped up with the subject line CONFIDENTIAL: Secret Preview of New Stronic?it set my heart fluttering. I was in the middle of writing a different email, but I immediately abandoned it to open the new one. An embedded image revealed the shape and colors for this new toy, the Stronic G. I maybe gasped.

A G-spotty shape? Pool blue as a color option? In a thrusting Stronic? Dude. I could not say yes fast enough.

Releasing a more G-spot-oriented Stronic was a logical next step, and anytime I see logic from a sex toy company these days I’m impressed. (#jaded.) Although the original Eins stimulated my G-spot quite well, the toy’s non-committal shape felt like a bit of a cop-out — and in the back of my mind I always low-key wished for more of a curve. Follow-up Stronics weren’t quite right: too textured, too bulbous at my vaginal opening, and in the case of the disastrous Bi Stronic Fusion, equipped with a buzzy clitoral arm that made me want to turn to a life of crime.

But it looks like I won’t be going on a killing spree anytime soon, because in the Stronic G, all the things I ever wanted from the Stronic line have finally come together. It’s less bulky, it’s in a color I love, it hits my G-spot like a dream, and, in a shock twist I did not anticipate, I CAN USE IT HANDS-FREE.

Much of the Stronic G’s success can be attributed to its intense curve and flat tip, a shape that is notoriously effective for my G-spot (I squirted for the first time with the similarly-blunt LELO Ella). While the Eins will slip out of my body in 2 seconds if I don’t hold it, the Stronic G hooks right into my vagina, past my pubic bone. As long as I don’t go overboard on the lube, I can leave it unattended save for minor adjustments to keep it G-spot-side-up.

The Stronic G works my G-spot like a robotic lover. It’s less of a back-and-forth thrusting and more of an up-and-down movement, pounding up against my G-spot with ease. The toy’s generous 10 settings offer a range of sensations, from a punchy pulse to a fluid thrusting to unique patterns that tease me deliciously. It feels so impossibly, distractingly pleasurable it renders me unable to speak normally; one time I found myself breathily chastising my cats mid-masturbation.

Writing about it is making me want to use it, and writing reviews almost never arouses me.

It’s the intensity of the shape + the consistency of the movement that unlock all my G-spot’s secrets. I swear I can feel my G-spot swelling and filling with fluid when I use this toy. I have to put my Throe down because nearly every time I come with this toy, I gush a little — and I’ve done nothing to earn it except hold a vibe on my clit.

Automated, unwavering G-spot stimulation. Casual squirting. Y’all. It’s the life.

I didn’t know it could get much better than the Stronic Eins; I had no idea it could be this good. It’s like when I went to a Mexican restaurant recently to get a breakfast burrito and the menu said “make it a chimichanga for $1 more.” The possibilities of the world opened up. Angels sang. It was beautiful. (And delicious.)

Movement aside, the shape of the Stronic G is inherently stimulating. Even if it dies, I can just go analog with it. Its built-in settings aren’t fast enough to make me squirt like a geyser, but it brings me right to the precipice. All I have to do is turn it off, get a quick thrusting rhythm going, and in no time I’m exploding — ejaculate in seemingly every direction, splashing my thighs, compelling me to take a shower afterward.

Fun Factory Stronic G and Stronic Eins pulsators

The Stronic G is smaller and lighter than the Eins, at 1.45″ in diameter. The handle is slimmer, with a slight texture for added grip, and shrunken buttons. It’s a little shorter, and the lack of a useless “clitoral nub” helps me insert it further — so bracing it against my fingers (if I even have to) is less of a reach. The silicone has a smoother finish as well; it’s not grainy like the Eins. The biggest difference, though, is that the Eins glides back and forth more readily, while the Stronic G zeroes in on my G-spot with rapid upward movement.

It’s quite relentless. On some days, if my vagina is feelin’ sensitive, the Stronic G can be borderline uncomfortable. Sometimes, the faster settings are too much — like when someone’s aggressively fingering me and I’m like, “wow, this feels good, but maybe you should slow down.” This is not a toy for people who are easily overwhelmed by (or unfamiliar with) G-spot stimulation, and the shape isn’t for everyone; some G-spots and pubic bones find it off-putting. If you aren’t sure, I recommend testing the waters with the Moka, Choosy, Siren, or Ella first before plopping down $200 on the Stronic G.

While this toy feels nothing like fingers — nothing is anything like the glory that is fingers — it’s the closest a sex toy has ever felt, and it’s the only hands-free version I’ve ever encountered.1 The Stronic G is what the Mona Wave wishes it could be. I mean, shit, it’s what a lot of sex toys wish they could be. Normally when I read sex toy marketing materials I roll my eyes at the overblown promises. When I read the Stronic G description, I find myself nodding sagely.

The Stronic G has truly redefined lazy masturbation. When you find yourself being brought to orgasm so effortlessly, you acclimate to it — you forget that usually you have to do a lot more work to achieve the same effect. It starts to fuck up your brain. It makes the mere act of holding a dildo seem exhausting. Thrusting sex toys yourself becomes passé.

It’s a funny and rare thing: a top-tier toy being usurped by its successor. I still love the Stronic Eins, but if I’m in a G-spotting mood (A.K.A. most of the time) or a lazy mood (same), I’m most likely going to grab the Stronic G. Can you blame me? Like right now, I’m sitting at a cafe, finishing my latte, eyeballing the menu and considering ordering a breakfast burrito. But why bother if I can’t make it a chimichanga?

Get Stronic G at SheVibe, BabelandGood Vibes, Lovehoney (international), or Fun Factory USA.

Get a Fun Factory Stronic of your choice at SheVibeGood VibesBabelandPleasure Chest,
Fun FactorySmitten KittenLovehoney (international), or Come As You Are (Canada).

  1. By the way, snarky commenters of the world: I’m aware that fucking machines exist. They also cost a shit ton more, take up a lot more space, and are not compatible with my jacking off situation. []
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