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    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

    A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.

    Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
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    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
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Sex toys getting me through the pandemic
Anyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterDildosGreatest HitsGuidesHi, I love youLube etc.Sex Toy ReviewsSunshine & RainbowsVibrators

Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

March 16, 2022
The pandemic has been a whole new time of giving-zero-fucks, and for me that’s looked like a sort of survivalist...
Keep Reading
Warm Touch automatic warming lube dispenser standing upright and continuously dispensing, next to a lamp that resembles anal beads, and my cat on the bed.
Hi, I love youLube etc.Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Warm Touch warming lube dispenser

February 4, 2020
The problem of the lube bottle is one that manufacturers have been grappling with for some time. Awkward flip-top caps...
Keep Reading
Tantus Magma, Tantus Splash, Whipspider Rubberworks Jellyfish, and Uberrime Jellyfish 2.0 lying on colorful striped canvas.
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Jellyfish 2.0 + Magma

March 24, 2019
Being a veteran sex toy blogger is a pretty sweet deal sometimes. I get to live to see most of...
Keep Reading
Fun Factory Stronic G pulsator on a slab of white marble.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementDildosGreatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Stronic G

November 19, 2017
Four years ago, my G-spot was forever changed by a revolutionary sex toy called the Stronic Eins. Not really a...
Keep Reading
Ask Piph logo, with a sex toy forming the question mark.
Adventures in SquirtingAsk PiphGuides

Ask Piph #9

October 4, 2016
Can you squirt with something inside you or do you have to pull it out? In most instances, with most...
Keep Reading
Doxy Don and Doxy Die Cast on a desk. The Nuzzle Tip attachment is on the Doxy Die Cast's head.
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Doxy Massager (Die Cast) and The Don

July 20, 2016
Put it on my clit. Now. That’s what ran through my head the first time I held the Doxy Don,...
Keep Reading
The simplehuman Sensor Pump on my nightstand, squirting lube onto my Pure Wand.
Anyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterGreatest HitsHi, I love youLube etc.Sex Toy ReviewsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Review: Automatic lube dispenser

June 10, 2016
Many a time, I stared at it longingly in the aisles of Bed, Bath, & Beyond. Among the as-seen-on-TV contraptions...
Keep Reading
We-Vibe Tango Glow (pink) and Dusk (gray-blue) Pleasure Mate Collection
Anal ToysGreatest HitsHi, I love youKegel ExercisersSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: We-Vibe Tango Pleasure Mate Collection (Dusk and Glow)

December 20, 2014
I’m in love. Its name is the We-Vibe Dusk, and I’m using it all wrong. This toy is supposed to be a...
Keep Reading
Stronic Eins and the best ever tea towel, which reads "MASTURBATION: NO MATTER HOW YOU SAY IT" with a bunch of euphemisms in a circle around it.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementDildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Stronic Eins

April 24, 2013
There’s been a lot of pomp and hype surrounding the Fun Factory Stronic line: an alleged 18 months of development, a...
Keep Reading
All hail the Vibratex Mystic Wand! On a desk next to a cute container of colorful sharpie pens.
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Mystic Wand

January 12, 2011
The Vibratex Mystic Wand is a damn good sex toy. No caveats, no horror stories. It just gets things right....
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Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Epiphora's orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

Movie Night: The Final Member

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