Four years ago, my G-spot was forever changed by a revolutionary sex toy called the Stronic Eins. Not really a dildo and definitely not a vibrator, the Eins features an internal weight that facilitates a back-and-forth thrusting movement. This “pulsator” felt unlike anything I’d ever tried, wiggling against my G-spot so enthusiastically, and quickly became one of my favorite insertables. Fun Factory’s Stronic line proved that innovation is still possible in the sex toy industry — true innovation, not gimmicky and spurious “innovation” with air quotes. So a few weeks ago when an email popped up with the subject line CONFIDENTIAL: Secret Preview of New Stronic?, it set my heart fluttering. I was in the middle of writing a different email, but I immediately . . . read more

Cupcake butt plug and Shilo. The cliché is true — it feels like just yesterday and like forever ago. This week marks 10 years since I first published a review of a sex toy on the internet. It was fall 2007, my junior year of college. That summer, I’d moved out of the dorms and into my first apartment. I was 20 years old, almost 21. If you’d asked me what my career was going to be, I would’ve hesitated and posited, “…writer? I hope?” A cautious optimism underneath which lied a practical fear. A fear that I could never make a living with writing, that I’d end up in an office job, probably, and that the only skill I’d spent my . . . read more

So I was interviewed for a piece about female ejaculation/squirting for Fusion recently. The article finally went live, and lo and behold, I’m not mentioned at all because some new bullshit study came out that had to trump everything. Also, they needed to make room for all those animated GIFs. I’m no scientist and I’m not in the business of picking apart studies, but I will say that its findings contradict several other studies which have previously shown that ejaculate contains zero or low levels of urea and creatinine. Its findings also go against several thousand million1 vagina-owners, including myself, who have reported that the stuff they ejaculate does not look, smell, or taste like pee. Also, WHO FUCKING CARES what the chemical make-up of the ejaculate . . . read more

[What happens when the media misrepresents squirting? Similar rage.] Less than a month ago we were attacked by headlines screaming that the G-spot doesn’t exist, and here we are again, with yet another news source “reporting” (I use that word quite loosely) on yet another “study” “proving” that the G-spot is a “myth” and EVERYONE CALM DOWN AND TOUCH YOUR CLITORIS. It’s not the first, and it will never be the last, but it’s the one that broke me. My soul has been cracking, little by little, each time this happens. Like that time a sex educator drew a question mark on an anatomy chart in place of a G-spot. That time a guy dared to write a book called What Do Women . . . read more

Have a question for me? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com. Welcome to a special edition of Ask Piph focused solely on the legendary njoy Pure Wand! If you somehow haven’t heard of the Pure Wand, it is a solid, double-ended piece of stainless steel that many (including myself) regard as the G-spot’s/prostate’s savior. I get a lot of questions about it, so I decided to compile them all in one place. I’m buying a Pure Wand to use on myself (as a guy) but also with partners. I was wondering what tips you could give me on how best to use the toy after I’ve spoken to my partners about it. What sort of motion is best with . . . read more

[This toy has been discontinued, but the Stronic Surf is just as good. I also reviewed the Stronic G, Drei, Zwei, and Bi Stronic Fusion. ] There’s been a lot of pomp and hype surrounding the Fun Factory Stronic line: an alleged 18 months of development, a YouTube trailer filled with innuendo and no actual facts, a video of people racing the toys across a table, and a side-eye-inducing claim that 87% of women prefer them over vibrators. Listen, bub, you’re not gonna usurp vibrators in one fell swoop. You’re just not. But if anyone should be screaming “revolutionary!!!”, you know, for once, Fun Factory has actually earned it. The Stronic Eins feels nothing like any sex toy I’ve ever touched or put in my vagina. . . . read more

Usually it takes a bit of time for my screaming endorsements to seep into the consciousness of my readers. Especially when the toys I love cost a pretty penny. But not this time. I flailed about the Jopen Comet G Wand less than two months ago, and I’m already getting reports back that peeps have bought and loved it. A reader named Alex sent me the sweetest, ego-stroking email thanking me for alerting her to toxic sex toy materials and iffy lube ingredients, the existence of good porn, and glass dildos. She bought the Crystal Delights Star Delight and Comet G Wand based on my reviews, and confessed, in perhaps the greatest compliment ever given to me, “my vagina thanks you from . . . read more

The G-Spot Lollipop J-Pop begins with a mistake — by getting way too literal about things. Always an ominous sign. Since it’s wrapped up like a fucking lollipop, I believe I’m fully within my rights to scream DO NOT PUT ACTUAL LOLLIPOPS IN YOUR VAGINA! OR POPSICLES! OR CHOCOLATE SAUCE! OR WHIPPED CREAM! It is not cute and it is only scandalous in the way that your world will be rocked by a yeast infection. Blissfully unaware of the implications of modeling a dildo after a sugary food, my cat deemed the highly crinkly plastic packaging THE BEST EVER and had a grand ol’ time pushing it across the floor. There are a slew of options when one goes to order a G-Spot . . . read more

[The Comet G Wand has been replaced by the vibrating Comet II (review here). All links in this review now go to Comet II.] It’s only February, and the Jopen Key Comet G Wand has a very good chance of being the best sex toy I try all year. I am, I must say, flabbergasted. I mean, this is Jopen we’re talking about. Jopen, creators of the what-the-fuck that is the Intensity. Jopen, whose parent company is California Exotic. Jopen, who must think they are naming perfumes rather than vibrator lines (Key, Vanity). They’re not always the sharpest tool in the shed… but this is a motherfucking home run. The Comet G Wand is a beautiful conglomeration. It’s a glass dildo “dipped in body safe silicone,” conjuring delicious images of chocolate-covered cones . . . read more