Review: Curve

The Fun Factory Curve is a curly 100% silicone dildo that is not ashamed of its adorableness. It’s made of a soft matte silicone with raised accents in a glossy silicone. And it is flexible to the max. The max. But nevermind that for now. I was wooed by the unique and playful shape, the bright color (though purple is not my favorite, at least it’s not pink), and the promise of G-spot bliss. I mean, clearly, this is a G-spot dildo. That is its goal in life.

But there are two huge problems with the Curve’s G-spot aspirations. The first is the bump on the head on the dildo, which is not nice to my vagina at all. That seemingly benign little bump manages to cause its fair share of strife. If I’m not warmed up, it hurts going in. If I am warmed up, insertion is easier, but removal isn’t. When I pull the Curve out of me, it feels like it is grabbing and trying to extract the insides of my vagina (I haven’t tried it with my NuvaRing in yet, but I would venture to guess that it would definitely try to extract that too). This sensation is far from pleasant, and makes my usual technique of sliding a toy out, then back in, out, then back in, not even worth it.

And once it’s in there, the bump does not give up. It continues to cause general discomfort. It’s not horrible, but it’s not something I want to be dealing with in the midst of trying to achieve a G-spot orgasm. Speaking of my G-spot, the Curve does hit it. But an orgasm? Ha. Out of the question…

That curl at the top that seems so perfectly designed for grasping and thrusting? Ridiculously, stupidly pliable. It’s pointless to thread a finger through that hole; it affords me no more control than just holding the shaft. And even that doesn’t work. It is here that the Curve falls apart completely as a G-spotter. No way in hell am I going to be able to squirt if I can’t adequately thrust with the dildo. I can’t control a dildo that writhes in my hand when I try to thrust with it.

There is obviously a learning curve (ha?) to this thing. I’m definitely not going to get a G-spot orgasm out of it for quite a while, if ever. I’m not too optimistic, but I’ll keep trying. I won’t let the bump get me down.