The Bubble Love has been discontinued, but check out the WaterSlyde. I am one of many who grew up getting my orgasms from the bathtub faucet. Legs spread, back against the bottom of the tub, water pouring delightfully over my clit, I’d lay there with my mind split between thrilling newfound pleasure and neurotic calculation of how long I could run the bath before it seemed suspicious. I almost certainly ran up my parents’ water bill from roughly 2000 to 2002. (Sorry, guys. At 14 I was too stupid to even know water bills existed.) But I later graduated to circling a Sharpie over my clit through my underwear, and after that, vibrators. Glorious, glorious vibrators. So many shapes, so many options, such ease. I started . . . read more

When I saw the Fun Factory Boosty for the first time, I murmured, “I need it in my soul.” 80% of that reaction was in response to the turquoise color option, but it’s not only that — this butt plug just has a cheerful, persuasive aura about it. However, now that I’ve had it in my soul, and vis-à-vis in my butt, I am stumped on how to describe the sensation it creates. With those ripples, you’d think it would be a pronounced, observable feeling — but my butt registers it mostly as size. (I can’t feel the color. Damnit.) The Boosty is the sequel to Fun Factory’s Bootie, which is my favorite silicone butt plug and part of my holy trinity of favorite plugs. It’s a tough act to follow. . . . read more

When SheVibe found the last living neon green Mustang under a low shelf in their warehouse, we had to team up to give it away. And because any dildo pairs well with a nice vibe, we decided the winner would also get a Leaf vibe of their choice. The lucky winner of this pairing is Kara! She chose the Leaf Life (oh hey, I like that one too!) and wrote back: OOOOHHH MY GOD YOU JUST MADE ME DANCE AROUND MY APARTMENT IN JOY! MY DOG ALSO JOINED IN. You are spreading joy and orgasms around the world. Also, I want to extend a slow clap to all of your comments about which discontinued toys (and companies) should come back, and which current toys should be . . . read more

Back in October, we mourned the discontinuation of some of the loveliest neon dildos from Vixen Creations, including the green Mustang and all neon versions of the Maverick. I thought they were all gone forever. BUT THEN this email from SheVibe happened: Dude, you’ll never guess what I found in the warehouse. A GREEN MUSTANG!! It had rolled underneath a low shelf, we don’t even have them on the site anymore. It must be the last living one — wanna do a giveaway? If I do nothing else in my life, at least I can be the person who gives away rare dildos in a color that may never happen again in our lifetimes. The Mustang is one of my all-time favorites: its squishy dual-density . . . read more

I HATE WRITING POSTS LIKE THIS, but you guys deserve to know before it’s too late. These beauties from Vixen Creations are going away. All neon Mavericks, including the tie dye one, are being discontinued, as is the neon green Mustang. I guess we can’t have nice things. That appears to be the only explanation. (I’m sure Vixen would tell you that these weren’t selling well enough, but I won’t listen to reason.) Prior to these hitting the scene, most of Vixen’s dual-density VixSkin dildos were made only in skin tones. Raquel was, for a long time, the only exception — and it was pink. So these neon and tie dye additions were an exciting and welcome change. I know people who are . . . read more

[This toy has been discontinued, but the Stronic Surf is just as good. I also reviewed the Stronic G, Drei, Zwei, and Bi Stronic Fusion. ] There’s been a lot of pomp and hype surrounding the Fun Factory Stronic line: an alleged 18 months of development, a YouTube trailer filled with innuendo and no actual facts, a video of people racing the toys across a table, and a side-eye-inducing claim that 87% of women prefer them over vibrators. Listen, bub, you’re not gonna usurp vibrators in one fell swoop. You’re just not. But if anyone should be screaming “revolutionary!!!”, you know, for once, Fun Factory has actually earned it. The Stronic Eins feels nothing like any sex toy I’ve ever touched or put in my vagina. . . . read more

[The Comet G Wand has been replaced by the vibrating Comet II (review here). All links in this review now go to Comet II.] It’s only February, and the Jopen Key Comet G Wand has a very good chance of being the best sex toy I try all year. I am, I must say, flabbergasted. I mean, this is Jopen we’re talking about. Jopen, creators of the what-the-fuck that is the Intensity. Jopen, whose parent company is California Exotic. Jopen, who must think they are naming perfumes rather than vibrator lines (Key, Vanity). They’re not always the sharpest tool in the shed… but this is a motherfucking home run. The Comet G Wand is a beautiful conglomeration. It’s a glass dildo “dipped in body safe silicone,” conjuring delicious images of chocolate-covered cones . . . read more

The Number 23 is not, as you might think, a psychological thriller starring Jim Carrey, but instead a wooden dildo made by Penetralia. That’s good news, since I don’t think this dildo is quite capable of handling the responsibility of being the cause of all things in the universe. It’s an okay dildo, but it’s not that good. The Penetralia Number 66 blew my mind, so standards were high coming into this one. Like the 66, the 23 comes in an epic wooden tube that ties shut with a piece of leather. Unlike the Number 66, the Number 23’s edges are rounded and nicely curved, although you can tell the shape is slightly imperfect. The coating also isn’t as thick as on a NobEssence piece, but . . . read more

[Note: The Beyond 3 is sadly now gone forever, but the Jopen Key Comet G Wand is comparable and awesome.] I guess I’m an old geezer, because I remember when Ophoria was the brand new sex toy company on the block, and now I’m around to witness the very unfortunate discontinuation of many (all?) of their toys — including the one that’s easily their best, the Beyond 3. I’m hearing through the grapevine that they’re being  discontinued by suppliers and vendors. SheVibe was smart enough to snatch up a batch of Beyond 3s, and to my knowledge, they are the only site that still has them in stock. I actually acquired my Beyond 3 from Ophoria themselves in exchange for filling out a survey about . . . read more