5 lbs 7 oz of sex toys

I have a lot of toys I don’t use. I’ve given a few away to friends, but most of them sit in a drawer or in one of my toy cases, taking up space and generally being not in/on a vagina/ass. This is a fitting fate for some toys (see: Impulse Butterfly… god, I really should just throw that thing out), but some toys are really not that bad. It’s just that I have so many, I have high standards, and I think certain things are the shit while others are just mediocre. One person’s trash is another person’s treasure, though, which is why I was really excited to put together this box…

This box stuffed with sex toys began when my Twitter friend Lady Astolat and I were swapping wishlists. I noticed that her wishlist contained several toys that I owned but never used. I sent her my full, updated list of toys to swap, and she chose a bunch more. After many emails and much prodding from me (“don’t you want some bad porn?!”), she came up with a sizable list of toys she wanted. I gleefully dug through my cases to find the toys, then washed them meticulously, wiped them with 10% bleach, and wrapped them in plastic. The final contents of the package are as follows:

And I’m really, really excited to be getting rid of all this stuff. I never use the toys, and I’m not a fan of the lubes, so I’m glad they’ll be going to a home where they will be appreciated. Lady Astolat’s current collection of toys is far too sparse, so this should get her started on a ridiculous collection like mine. In exchange, she is going to buy me the Tentacle and a couple other things. I’m really excited.

And to those who are (rightfully) worried, the lube has been taped up and placed in its own ziplock bag. Never fear!