Nov 292009
 
My white Joque with the Downunder Toys Mr. H Rod strapped in.

My white Joque with Mr. H Rod strapped in.

In many ways, the glory of the Spareparts Hardwear Joque lies in what it is not. It’s not a re-hashing of the usual harness style. There is no other harness like it. Yes, it looks unassuming; it’s not sparkly, and it won’t make you look like Superwoman. But I’d rather be comfy than look like Superwoman, and the Joque knows very well what comfy is.

Admittedly, I was in love with the Joque before I ever put it on. After seeing this video of one of Babeland’s employees sporting it, I was hooked. And once I put it on myself, I knew this was it. The harness to end all harnesses.

It’s hard to write a review of a product that gets almost everything right. This might end up sounding like a laundry list of special features. But let’s get to it: the Joque is made of poly-spandex (80% polyester, 20% spandex), not leather or cheap-o backpack strap material. Poly-spandex is lovely for a variety of reasons. I feel bullet points coming on…

  • It’s freaking comfortable. Not tolerable, comfortable. I don’t even notice the leg straps, which is really a miracle of the world. When I get in the zone with fucking, the cock is mine and the harness is forgotten.1
  • It’s waterproof. Yeah — shower, tub, jacuzzi, torrential downpour, Pacific Northwest, shark tank — you name the wet place, poly-spandex can handle it.
  • It’s machine washable. Squirters and squirter-lovers rejoice! Plus anyone else sick of gingerly wiping down leather.

The Joque comes in two sizes (imagine that! It fits real people!). Siza A is meant for waists of 20-50″, but size B (35-65″ waist) is recommended for those with more hips and thighs, even if their waist is smaller.

My Joque is white, but it comes in a bazillion other colors (including, um, American flag?). The Spareparts logo is incorporated into the fabric on the front of the harness, which is sexy and perfect. The Joque comes with very thorough instructions on how to put it on, and it comes with a drawstring satin pouch for storage and travel, which the harness curls and folds into surprisingly well.

The Joque is easy to adjust (via velcro on the waist and buckles on the leg straps), and one adjustment is nearly all it takes. The leg straps may need to be loosened and tightened a bit each time the harness is worn, but the adjusted waist need not be messed with. Instead of wrestling each time with straps and buckles, the Joque can be adjusted once, then subsequently stepped into like underwear. Um, yeah. Awesome.

Spareparts Hardwear Joque harness as modeled by the lovely Penny and Bex

Spareparts Joque harness as modeled by the lovely Penny and Bex (dildos Mustang and Maverick + lube)

The amount of ways the Joque can be used is mind-boggling. It can be used with a regular or double-ended dildo (dildos with balls included, as the balls can be tucked into the pouch if desired!). It has two thin pockets on the inside for vibrators (the We-Vibe Tango or Screaming O Vooom work well, but I prefer to just insert the Dusk to get clitoral vibration). It can be used with the pouch open — so the dildo has direct contact with your skin — or with the pouch closed, so the smooth fabric is what you feel. The Joque can even be used for packing.

The O-ring is one of my favorite parts of the Joque. Yes, O-ring singular! This is a stretchy O-ring. I know what you’re thinking: that sounds either obnoxious or genius. I can assure you it is genius. The O-ring is 1 1/2″ in diameter to begin with, but stretches up to 2″ or so. It doesn’t really feel stretchy (it actually feels very taut), but it stretches when something large is shoved through it.

So, pretty much any dildo fits in the Joque. With some finagling, I was able to get the massive Randy through the O-ring (and proceeded to violate my boyfriend’s Fleshlight). Smaller dildos work, too, as long as they have decent bases — the minuscule Tantus Ripple fits like a dream.

But the best fit would have to go to Mr. Man. With its balls tucked away in the fabric pouch and its base resting snugly against my vulva, my boyfriend was able to suck me off — and get intense suction going — without having to hold Mr. Man in place. Glory, glory, hallelujah!

Best for fucking, though? It’s a toss up between Mustang, Shilo, and Buck. All have the powerful combination of squish and stout stature necessary to nail someone with reckless abandon. The Joque is so comfortable that even after some vigorous sex, the only place I’m sore the next day is my pubic mound — where the base of the dildo pressed against my body.

My search for the perfect harness is officially over. No more annoying adjustments, no more fumbling with different O-rings, and most of all, no more feeling awkward and uncomfortable. From start to finish, from prepping to dildo-threading to hard fucking to sink-scrubbing, the Joque is the one.

Get the Joque at SheVibe (most color options), Babeland, Good Vibes, Early to Bed,
Pleasure ChestCome As You Are (Canada), or Lovehoney (international).

  1. The waistband does cut into my stomach a little when I sit down, though. []
  • Fuck yes! Just today I was wondering when you were going to post a review of this because I watched the very video you talked about in your review. Very, very lust-worthy item, for sure. On a related note, I tried on the harness you sent me and not only does it fit very well and isn’t all that uncomfortable but I feel very sexy in it. It’s no Joque harness but still a decent starter harness (until I can scrounge up enough cash to get a Joque harness in about 10 years or so). So thanks for that! And thanks for the lovely review, as always.

  • @Ashley: Thank you, sweetie! I’m really glad you like that harness more than I did. I’m glad it will be put to good use!

  • spicylilslice

    Thank you for this great review, I hope Santa puts one under my tree! I have a few harnesses that are pretty basic, but have been wanting one with a pouch like you you described here, mainly to put a mini vibe inside. I was wondering what type/brand of vibe you may suggest that would be powerful enough to please me whilst I am pleasing someone else? I use my harnesses a lot at work and though my clients always leave happy, they’ve been requesting that I finish happy with them as well…obviously I’m not totally against the idea. SO, any type of vibrator recommendation to go along with this would be greatly appreciated. And btw I love following you on Twitter. Thanks again and keep up the good work!

  • ThatToyChick

    We should wear our harnesses together and fight crime. It’d be the most awesome thing ever.

  • This is way high up on my wishlist. I was totally unaware of how many colors it came in! I don’t even know why I want a harness, since I have no desire to fuck a chick with one (I want to *get* fucked, thankyouverymuch) and definitely don’t want to be pegging a guy with one (too dominant of an act for this little subby). Maybe I can wear it around the house and take pictures of myself in it.

  • @spicylilslice: Good but difficult question! I have not found any small wireless bullet that is strong enough for me personally, but have heard good reports from others about the following…

    @Britni TheVadgeWig: Haha, I know what you mean! I don’t really need it at this point either, but I’m so happy to have it. Especially since it works so well with Mr. Man.

  • Saraid

    I totally need the Joque, like yesterday.

  • Fuckin awesome!!!!! I am excited!

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  • Nice review, I too really like this harness and consider it to be a “must-have” for those who are looking for a nice dildo harness. I have the all black Joque as well, and I thought it was beautiful and very unassuming. Glad to see we agree on something! 😉

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  • Remy

    Damn you, Joque. You and your stretchy O ring are winning me over.

  • Selective Sensualist

    My husband and I are also very far from pegging, but you just saved me a long search for the perfect harness when we are finally ready. How I wish that Mr. Man was still available. 🙁 It sounds like such an interesting toy. I don’t have any toy that provides clit suction. (Most clit pumps are rated quite low and I’m holding out for one that actually works.)

  • Bri

    This harness sounds AWESOME. I haven’t gotten a harness yet because I want to make sure I get one that will work for me and is comfortable. I love that once you adjust it you can just step in and out of it without having to readjust everything all over again!

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  • Gemini

    I sooo want to get one

  • daPistol

    “It doesn’t really feel stretchy (it actually feels very taut), but it stretches when something large is shoved through it.” Sounds like a very short vagina.

    Thanks for this review. I am looking for a harness and it was a toss up between this one and the super sexy Bella (Hubby loves stockings). I think this one will be a main pick and we’ll get the Bella at a later time… like Christmas. Yeah, sounds like the perfect mutual gift. *rawr*

  • FunNKinky

    Thank you for posting your review and keeping it accessible after all these years. I just bought the Joque to replace a basic strap system, and couldn’t be happier.

    I must say, the Joque is an excellent product. I am a big fan of being pegged, but until we found the Joque, the other harness were found lacking in one way or another. The basic Doc Johnson vac-u-lock strap we previously used was too measly and came undone or out of position too easily. We tried the Feeldoe alone, but we found it was either in me or in her but not both of us at once. All of the other straps looked too masculine, too intimidating, too BDSM, and never entered my consideration.

    After reading your review and the comments, I bought the Joque as part of a kit from Wet For Her (now they may think I’m a lesbian, but that’s not a bad thing to be accused of…). The kit included an all black Joque and a large Fusion sex toy (aka dildo).

    I bought the Size B after reading the review here, as my wife has 40″ hips but athletic thighs. We fit the harness high around her waist, so it was adjusted to the smallest position it could go and the thigh straps fit snugly, but not too tight. She said this fitting was comfortable and made her feel the harness wouldn’t move during play. If she wore it low-rise style, she would have plenty of harness strap to work with, so she was glad to have the option.

    We put the Fusion through the o-ring, and as discussed in your review, the o-ring stretched to accommodate its girth and kept it in place rather well. I agree that this is a piece of design genius as it creates enough tension on the dildo in all directions that it kept the phallus in place without allowing it to move or twist around. We opened the back panel of the Joque and let the Fusion’s clitoral stimulator do its thing.

    Through the entire episode, the Joque stayed put, and nothing prevented my wife from pegging me until she or I got worn out. We tried various positions — doggie, fully prone, spooning, and sidesaddle — and the Joque performed very well. The Fusion was also a top performer with its velvety texture it allowed for smooth entry and continuous penetration and thrust. The shape gave me intense pleasure and clitoral nub gave my wife a modest level of ongoing stimulation.

    We love that it is machine washable too; it’ll go through in a lingerie bag to protect it and other delicates from the Velcro. To address the question of the brand label on the front, it is now not a separate label so it cannot be removed without damaging the harness. It is however part of the fabric for the harness so it doesn’t have exposed stitching issues that others seemed to have with previous designs. Although there is stitching around the logo area, the needlework is high quality and does not disturb my wife or me.

    All in all we are very pleased. I loved that my wife did not have to stop to adjust the harness, fumble around with the fit, and get lost from the moment. The large Fusion was big enough to stay inside me as we changed positions and the Joque kept it in place on my wife the entire time.

    We will try using the Feeldoe with the Joque and will try out the new Ash Hollywood Crystal Delights glass dildo as well. I like that we have several toys in our treasure chest that we can use with the Joque already. We can definitely ditch that vac-u-lock.

    5 stars for both products, but the MVP definitely goes to the Joque.

    Now if we can only find someone who can teach us how to use the njoy Pure Wand, all will be right with the world!

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