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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

glass

A glorious sex toy material. Seamless, frictionless, and gorgeous. And no, it won’t shatter inside of you unless you’re this woman. My favorite indie glass toy manufacturer is Crystal Delights, but there are other designs from various manufacturers.

Latest
  • Latest
  • Oldest
  • Random
  • A to Z
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Raspberry Chunk

September 18, 2009
I’ve had my eye somewhat indifferently trained on the Raspberry Chunk for a while now. In March, I reviewed the...
Keep Reading
Giveaways

RubyGlass21 dildos winners!

August 2, 2009
My contest for two glorious glass dildos from RubyGlass21 has come to a close, and I was delighted with the...
Keep Reading
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Athena

July 21, 2009
The Luxotiq Athena is a gorgeous and elegant double-ended dildo, with two different-sized ends. Both ends double as insertable and as...
Keep Reading
Giveaways

Giveaway: Glass dildos galore!

July 18, 2009
Check out them beauts! Meet the Vortex (top) and Pleasure Wand, two absolutely gorgeous glass dildos sent to me from the generous folks...
Keep Reading
BanterGiveawaysTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

Saying “dildo” on Twitter

June 18, 2009
It’s easy to forget, especially within my sex toy bubble, that there are all kinds of people on Twitter. Look...
Keep Reading
The Taffy Tickler Silicone Sweets glass dildo, covered in little orange spikes, standing upright near some pointy green fake grass.
DildosGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Taffy Tickler Silicone Sweets

June 14, 2009
On the front of the package, a circle of orange spines say, “Try Me.” You feel them; they are glossy,...
Keep Reading
Giveaways

And the bumpy glass goes to…

June 13, 2009
My Twitter contest for a set of two bumpy glass dildos has come to a close, and I must say,...
Keep Reading
Giveaways

Giveaway: Win two bumpy glass dildos!

May 22, 2009
In celebration of my graduation and my leap back into reviewing and blogging, I am excited to announce a bumpy...
Keep Reading
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Lemon Drops glass dildo

March 27, 2009
Despite the grotesque name, I’ve always wanted to try a “juicer”-type glass dildo. I finally got the chance with the...
Keep Reading
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Dual Sided Swirled Rib

January 16, 2009
I’ve finally become jaded. After a plethora of impressive glass toys, my standards for glass have been raised quite a...
Keep Reading
Anal ToysSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Deck the Halls butt plug

January 15, 2009
I’ve been longing to try a glass butt plug for a while now. Which is not to say I’m a...
Keep Reading
Phallix Cobalt Twister glass dildo
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Cobalt Twister

January 6, 2009
I know, I know, I know. I’m reviewing another glass dildo. What can I say? I just keep finding interesting...
Keep Reading
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Dr. Laura Berman Ruby

December 29, 2008
While I do own quite a few glass dildos at this juncture, I don’t have any that look quite like...
Keep Reading
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Blue Tip Clear Rings dildo

November 24, 2008
Before this dildo, I’d never owned anything from Don Wands. But I know their company name, because they are makers...
Keep Reading
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Crystal Teaser

November 7, 2008
It’s tiny! A year ago, my vagina would’ve rejoiced in the size of this dildo. But now, I see a...
Keep Reading
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Inside Out Spiral Rib Double Dong

November 6, 2008
After a while, all my reviews of glass toys are going to sound the same. “It’s great! A bit pricey,...
Keep Reading
1 2 3

Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

LELO Pino... a cock ring "exclusively for bankers"

Um, No: Pino

Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable vibrator on a zig-zag-patterned rainbow crocheted blanket.

Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Rechargeable

Typewriter, cup of pens, and some sex books. The sparkly "Epiphora" drink cozy on the cup was a gift from Bianca (TheVenusEmporium on Etsy). The other side has a vulva on it!

A sex blogger by any other name

The simplehuman Sensor Pump on my nightstand, squirting lube onto my Pure Wand.

Review: Automatic lube dispenser

Shiri Zinn Cupcake vibrator, and the tools to dismantle the patriarchy. (Fork and knife.)

Review: Cupcake

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