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Sex Toy Reviews

The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

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Review: Royal Wizard

October 9, 2007

[This toy has been discontinued. Browse the rabbits tag for more reviews of dual vibes.] The Royal Wizard from California Exotic... Keep Reading

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Excess dildos go to my friends. Tonight I'm preppi

Excess dildos go to my friends. Tonight I'm prepping a box of goodies to send to @amydentata, and also picking out toys for a bridal shower gift. I feel like Oprah and I fucking love it.

🌠 VIBRATOR GIVEAWAY + REVIEW! 🌠 The tiniest

🌠 VIBRATOR GIVEAWAY + REVIEW! 🌠 The tiniest tip ever to wiggle against my clit has morphed once again. This is the Zumio E, the third @zumioinc release. The Zumio redefines pinpoint stimulation, funneling every ounce of its power into a beaded tip. It stimulates masterfully, sending pleasure far beyond the tiny dot of flesh it touches. Orgasms are sudden, shaking, inescapable. Read my full review (which includes my patented Labia Trick™) via the link in my bio, and enter to win your own Zumio below!

// GIVEAWAY is now over!! Congratulations to the lucky winner, @wingardiumfuriosa805! //

TO ENTER TO WIN:
🌀 Follow me @heyepiphora⁣
🌀 Like this post
🌀 Comment and tag a friend — each comment counts as 1 entry
🌀 Bonus: want to increase your chances? Visit my Twitter (Epiphora) and Facebook (HeyEpiphora) and enter there too!

This giveaway is open to INTERNATIONALLY! Winner will be chosen and contacted on Thursday 8/6 and will be given 48 hours to respond.

The universe reminded me that exactly one year ago

The universe reminded me that exactly one year ago today I was in Burbank, California for sex toy trade show ANME, taking this photo with ~famous influencer~ and sweet human @thongria. (I loooove her and everything about her shop, @shopspectrumboutique.) It feels like forever ago: sweating our asses off talking business in the outdoor tents, listening to Pauly Shore bombing at comedy night because his sex jokes were not sophisticated enough for our crowd, laughing with new and old friends... so much of my connection to the sex toy world comes from seeing far-flung friends and having loud conversations about dildos in hotel bars. Now, nobody knows how long it'll be until we can safely attend such a large-scale event again... ANYWAY uh ⏩ swipe to the end for a couple of the WORST sights of the show.

NEW REVIEW! ✨ I squealed when I first heard abou

NEW REVIEW! ✨ I squealed when I first heard about the Jack from @newyorktoycollective. Billed as a 2-in-1 packer and stroker, its existence really highlights how far sex toys for trans folks have come. Unlike products of the past, it was designed specifically for trans consumers — AND it was created by an independent Black- and queer-owned company.

So I called on a friend, Brettley of @tealpansyjewelry, to try the Jack and give us the scoop. Find out what they had to say about stroking and packing with it, including an ingenious technique for adding vibration to the mix, via the link in my bio! Or right here: https://piph.it/jack

Gaze upon the sweet sweet sight of sex toys that m

Gaze upon the sweet sweet sight of sex toys that move but DON'T hurt. A low bar to clear, you'd think, but the subject of my latest review didn't clear it. Swipe right for the offending device, the OhMyG, which claims to rival "even the best, most intense sex" I've ever had. Yeah, no. It feels like a soulless machine grabbing at my insides, and it sounds like a goddamn woodpecker. Delightful phrases in this review include "vaginal parlor," "cringegasm," and "my vagina neither forgives nor forgets." There's even a video of the atrocious noise this thing makes! 💥 Link in bio, give it a read!

There was a time, not long ago, when seeing a coll

There was a time, not long ago, when seeing a collection like this was rare. Now they pop up all the time, and it makes my little gay heart sing!! To close out Wrath Month, I've updated my blog post about LGBTQ-inspired sex toys. Link in bio, or right here: https://piph.it/rainbow 🌈 New additions include (swipe to see): 🏳‍🌈 SelfDelve's "Fun with Flags" line of ribbed dildos in trans, pansexual, genderqueer, and non-binary color schemes, along with the classic rainbow. 🏳‍🌈 Geeky Sex Toys' Pride dildos and butt plugs in the colors of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans flags, with the option for a CUSTOM color scheme defined by YOU! 🏳‍🌈 The handmade, small-batch Inclusion Harness, so bright and so gay, which now comes in a thigh harness style!