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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

    Review: Zumio E

    New York Toy Collective Jack 2-in-1 FTM stroker & packer

    Guest Review: Jack stroker & packer

    Review: OhMyG

    Review: Caress

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Sex toys on top of wrapping paper.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    The current state of Early to Bed in Chicago, with packing materials amidst dildo displays.

    Dildos in a pandemic: the sex toy industry and COVID-19

    My column in the high school paper, with the headline "Breaking four years of silence." There is a rainbow gradient effect over the image.

    That time I came out to my entire high school

    My logo on top of a glorious sex toy array, on top of a turquoise vulva-esque backdrop.

    Welcome to the NEW Hey Epiphora!

    Supplies for Mirena IUD insertion laid out at the doctor's office, including forceps, lube, gloves, and the Mirena box.

    The (not so) harrowing tale of my IUD insertion

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
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  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ

Sex Toy Reviews

The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

All
  • Anal Toys
  • BDSM
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  • Slush pile
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Oldest
  • Latest
  • Oldest
  • Random
  • A to Z
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Royal Wizard

October 9, 2007
The Royal Wizard from California Exotic Novelties has an intriguing shape and an interesting texture; it has a slightly curved head... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Sydnee’s Elegant Endeavor

November 2, 2007
I never thought of masturbation as “elegant,” nor have I ever described it as an “endeavor.” Perhaps if my experience with... Keep Reading
Lube etc.Sex Toy Reviews

Review: O’My lube

November 13, 2007
I have only owned one bottle of lube in my life (although I have tested quite a few at sex toy... Keep Reading
Fun Factory Corsar rechargeable vibrator
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Corsar

November 26, 2007
Corsar is my first 100% silicone toy, and I have to say, I am delighted. I’ve heard all the gushing about... Keep Reading
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Cum On My Tattoo

December 10, 2007
Cum On My Tattoo has the base formula for what I find hot: sexy alternative girls with tattoos and real... Keep Reading
DVD cover of Chemistry Vol. 3, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
Hi, I love youPornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Chemistry Vol. 3

January 16, 2008
Um, can Tristan Taormino make one of these per year until I die? I dare say she’s found the gold... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Sally Seal

February 1, 2008
There’s no denying the cute factor of the Fun Factory Sally Seal. While some people may think animal shaped vibes... Keep Reading
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Gold Ribbed Love Wand

March 11, 2008
This dildo is dishwasher safe! I find that endlessly amusing. I should preface this review with a few tidbits about... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Turbo Glider

March 28, 2008
I stumbled upon the Turbo Glider whilst on the hunt for an inexpensive vibe that wouldn’t fall apart or die... Keep Reading
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Xtreme Pack G-spot Bullet

April 5, 2008
This is one case in which I will permit the use of the word “Xtreme.” Why? Because it actually describes... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: My Secret

April 15, 2008
Last fall, I had an aggravating experience with my bank. When I arrived back home and couldn’t shake my bad... Keep Reading
Fun Factory Delight rechargeable silicone G-spot vibrator
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Delight

April 18, 2008
I feel like I have been waiting a zillion years to get my hands on the Delight. The moment I... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Her Perfect Fit

June 4, 2008
A somewhat bored-looking, lingerie-clad woman stares back at me from her position atop Her Perfect Fit. Three cute icons at... Keep Reading
Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Buddy

July 4, 2008
Buddy came to me as if from outer space — sitting upright inside a plastic tube. A blurb on the... Keep Reading
Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Silicone Slims Self Satisfier

July 27, 2008
First things first: this thing is unabashedly pink. No, not hot pink or magenta — I’m talking cutesy, baby shower... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Tera Patrick’s Super Charged Magnum

July 31, 2008
I know packaging doesn’t matter, but sometimes I just can’t ignore the hilarity of it. Check out this piece of... Keep Reading
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Sex toy Black Friday + Cyber Monday sales!

Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

Review: Dame Kip and Pom

Sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse winners!

Giveaway: sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse

Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

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