Want to ask me a question? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here. Can you squirt with something inside you or do you have to pull it out? In most instances, with most toys, the toy has to be pulled out at the exact right moment, after which the squirt follows. This is especially true with larger toys, or when it’s more of an accidental squirt during a clitoral orgasm — where I’m using a clitoral vibe and stimulating my G-spot, but not trying to ejaculate. There’s a build up of pressure and it feels like removing the dildo is the only way to release it. However, things are different when I’m on a serious squirt mission. . . . read more

If you ask me, sex toys are way better gifts than socks or body wash. Now I may be biased, considering I own over 400 of them and have been testing them and reviewing them for six years, but you know. The point is, I have OPINIONS about things that go on vulvas and in vaginas and butts, and even sometimes over penises. Today, I was on Sex Out Loud Radio telling the universe all about my top sex toy gift ideas — plus my tips for picking out a sex toy for someone else. As an accompaniment, here’s the written version — along with photos of the toys and links to my reviews. Where should you shop? My favorite stores are . . . read more

[Check out my annual best/worst tag for older and newer lists!] Ahhh, yearly traditions! As 2012 comes to a close (how did that happen, though, seriously?!), the time has come for me to recount my most loved and most hated sex toys that I tried this year. As in 2011 and 2010, I’ll first list the best/worst toys, then give out faux awards such as “Most Heinous Battery Compartment” and “I Risked My Life For You; You Are Welcome.” Don’t forget to comment with which toys you loved and hated this year! Best sex toys of 2012 Crystal Delights Crystal Twist — I thought I’d felt it all, especially when it came to glass dildos. I had not. The Crystal Twist is an . . . read more

I could’ve written a review for the njoy Pure Plugs before ever putting a single one in my ass. Of course, I would never do such a thing. And sometimes, my hunches about toys are way off. But in this instance, I’d like to gloat about the fact that I was totally and completely spot on (à la Gordon Ramsay). The Pure Plugs seem like flawless, glorious nuggets of shiny stainless steel, and that is exactly what they are. Put one in your ass, be astounded, THE END. They are love at first butt. First insertion? First ass? I’m basically as excited as Samwell about this. That tells you much of what you need to know. SheVibe graciously sent me both the medium and large Pure Plugs, . . . read more

Nobody wants to know how the njoy Fun Wand is. Everyone just wants to know how the Fun Wand compares to the njoy Pure Wand. Which I think is totally fair. When your big sibling is the Pure Wand (A.K.A. one of the best things to ever enter my vagina), it’s clearly the overachiever in the family and you’re just the smaller, oddly-shaped younger sibling. The Fun Wand is also about $20 cheaper, which seems to be a draw for people originally looking at the Pure Wand. Same manufacturer, same shiny stainless steel, why not save a few bucks? Because YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. Maintaining any semblance of objectivity with this one is hard1. But when one has experienced the glory of . . . read more

When Sexcuse Moi asked if I wanted to do a special promotion and offer a discount on a certain toy, I knew which one immediately: the Pure Wand. This toy is the best thing that will ever happen to your G-spot. I wish I could give everyone in the world a Pure Wand. Since that is impossible, I offer you a consolation in the form of $30 off. The Pure Wand is regularly $110, but put the code HEYEPIPHORA in the promotional code box during check-out, and your Pure Wand will be discounted by 30 bucks. Plus, it will ship for free. If you needed an excuse to buy this impossibly amazing hunk of stainless steel, here’s your chance. Take it! (This . . . read more

I don’t normally have sexual dreams, but I’ve had dreams about the njoy Eleven. They were always incredible jack-off sessions consisting of intense G-spot stimulation and unspeakable pleasure. At nearly $300 on most sites, the solid stainless steel Eleven is one of the most expensive sex toys ever made, and therefore should be the stuff of fantasies. In my dreams, though, the Eleven didn’t weigh anything — and I sure as hell wasn’t wielding it myself. No, in my dreams it suspended itself for my pleasure, and all I had to do was grind down on it. I would wake up yearning intensely for the toy. I was certain I would love it. I mean love it. I’ve become a . . . read more

You have come here wondering if the njoy Pure Wand is deserving of its legendary status. If this parenthesis-shaped pound and a half of medical-grade stainless steel can indeed change your — and your G-spot’s — life. The answer is yes. Holy fuck, yes. Your G-spot will never be the same. You don’t even know. You can’t comprehend. Buckets of ejaculate. A parade of buckets, if that is your aim. And lots and lots of moaning. This dildo will alter your perception of sexual pleasure forever. Measly words can’t adequately describe what the Pure Wand feels like. This is the most intense, overwhelming sex toy I’ve ever used. It is heavy, concentrated, and unrelenting. It steals my breath. It messes with . . . read more

As my first stainless steel butt plug, it’s kinda funny that the njoy Pfun is meant, well, for the prostate — but I have an unhealthy love for curved butt toys (my favorites are the Romp and the Bootie), so I figured it could work even for my prostateless ass. And it does work, but holy crap, it’s heavy. Even though I own the Pure Wand, I wasn’t anticipating so much weight up my butt. I think, after much testing, the best way to describe using the Pfun is thus: “comfortable, but heavy.” Or maybe, “comfortable for a while, then too heavy.” The Pfun is not overly large; it’s only 1.25″ in diameter, with 3 1/2″ of insertable length. However, . . . read more