Jun 292010

The SaSi is no longer in production.
The closest approximation is the LELO Ora. There’s also the Womanizer.

The Je Joue SaSi is a few years old now, but it’s still often touted as one of the most innovative sex toys on the block. It’s just like oral sex! It remembers what you like! Look at the rolly-ball go! It’s a technological wonder!

And yes, the SaSi does look exciting. It features a mechanical ball about the size of a small gumball that moves around underneath a thin layer of 100% silicone. It has a “customize” mode in which the user can skip certain settings and press the “don’t stop” button on others. Over time, the toy remembers which settings were favored, LIKE A GOOD LOVER1, and will repeat them.

Like everyone, I was intrigued. But not intrigued enough to drop $150 on the SaSi, or even really ask anyone to send it to me. I heard mixed reviews, and I feared the SaSi simply wouldn’t be strong enough for me. When I was contacted recently by Je Joue, though, I could no longer refuse — I needed to face the SaSi once and for all. To find out the truth, and report back.

But I am sorry to report, the truth is not very good. The truth is, in fact, pretty disappointing.

The sad fact is that the SaSi’s rolly-ball is extremely weak. “Mild” would be an overstatement. I have to press the toy between my labia and hold it there, hard, if I want to feel the ball moving at all. The toy has many ball movement patterns which can be increased or decreased in speed; the problem is, the speeds begin with A Slug’s Pace and end with Sort-of Fast, I Guess. It basically feels like a tiny ball massaging my clit with very fickle movements. Vibration can be added, and it helps, but SaSi’s sensations are still far too subtle, and its needs as a sex toy far too great. Read on and that last part will make sense. Maybe.

Things did not begin well between SaSi and I. When I first attempted to lift the silicone cover for the charging port, I found my blood pressure rising. It took a lot of wheedling to get it to come up, and now it takes a lot of wheedling to get it back down. Even worse, I found that the charging cord has to be shoved into the hole in just the right way for it to stay connected and charging. The SaSi charged for 45 minutes initially; the manual says it normally takes 1 hour and 45 minutes.

The first time I used the SaSi, I didn’t use the vibration modes at all. I spent a long, painful hour focusing on trying to get off. I can’t count the number of times I got the rumblings of an orgasm, the very tip of the iceberg, only to have them dissolve quickly into a lack of stimulation. It got to the point where rubbing the tip of the toy against my clit sounded more pleasurable than continuing to suffer through the weak-ass ball movements. That’s fucked up, people, since I never rub myself with toys.

The orgasm I eventually achieved (yes, it felt like an achievement) was longish, but tortured — there wasn’t enough stimulation, so my body was confused as to what was happening and didn’t go for the orgasm full bore. Afterward, my fingers hurt from grasping and pushing SaSi’s body against myself, and my brain hurt from the weight of disappointment and despair.

I knew things were bad when I actually dreaded using the toy again.

The SaSi redeemed itself slightly in round two — this time, it actually got me off in a semi-decent amount of time (25 minutes or so). You can thank the added vibrations for that. But the experience was still not pleasant. I was reminded again of all the stuff that makes the SaSi a pain to use, like the placement of the buttons; they’re at the other end of the toy, where I can’t see them or press them easily while in use. And the toy is an obnoxious 2″ wide, which forces me to spread my labia and shove the SaSi against my clit. Then I have to keep re-positioning the toy to get the random ball movements to touch my clit.

In short, it just takes way too much brainpower to use the SaSi.

Oh, and “customize” mode? It’s cool in theory, but I didn’t notice any increase in pleasure after training the toy about what I liked.

I also tried some dildos while using SaSi. Aside from being very awkward due to SaSi’s hogging of my vulva, it also reminded me of just how subtle SaSi’s sensations are. If I dared to thrust with a dildo, dared to feel good feelings in my vagina, I could no longer feel anything on my clit. I had to refrain from thrusting and focus solely on my clit to derive pleasure from SaSi. This might be the biggest disappointment of all, as I am a dildo whore.

The third time I used SaSi, I concluded that this toy is just extremely incompatible with the way I jack off. I sit in a chair; I don’t spread my legs a ton; I am addicted to porn; and I religiously use dildos (and especially dildos that provide intense sensations). I loathe having to expend energy on using a clitoral stimulator, as I’d rather spend that energy fucking myself with a dildo. I prefer my clitoral stimulators to need nothing from me other than to be held in place. SaSi needs to be pressed, held there, and constantly shifted. It’s distracting. So distracting that I feel like I spend 70% of my time thinking about SaSi, and only 30% absorbing the porn I’m watching. Sorry, but anything that takes away from my porn enjoyment gets a big fat thumbs down.

There are several nice things about the SaSi, of course — like that it’s rechargeable, and it comes with a one-year warranty, a storage pouch, a weird silicone stand, and tons of power adaptors (“In case you want to experience the slowest orgasm in the world in Zanzibar,” says Carnivalesq). Notice, though, that none of those things have anything to do with how it feels on one’s clitoris and vulva.

If SaSi’s ball was 5x stronger and 5x faster, then SaSi might be worthy of its wondertoy status. Really, the potential for awesome is huge, as the rolly-ball sensation (what I can feel of it, anyway) is very unique.

But as is, I see only one very specific type of person who would like the SaSi: someone who does not use insertables, is very sensitive, has $150 to burn, and has time to sit around waiting for an orgasm. I imagine this person lying on a bed, spread eagle, eyes squeezed shut, fantasizing and focusing completely on SaSi’s sensations. Basically, the complete opposite of dildo-thrusting, porn-watching, eyes-bulging me.

The SaSi is no longer in production. The closest approximation is the LELO Ora.

  1. I should really quit making fun of the rhetoric that “oral sex”-like toys use, but I can’t help it. []
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